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One of the guys at my VFW post [Larry] was telling me that after moving to Maine he joined the church in his town. A year later a buddy with a bar across the road from his house asked him to work p/t in a bar. So he began working in the bar a couple shifts each week, mostly just to fill-in for the regular bartenders. A few weeks later, his pastor visited him, explained that he had been seen going in and out of the bar. The deacons had met and his membership in the church had been revoked. He is no longer welcome in that church. Nobody cared if he was drinking, or serving, or sweeping the floors.
IMHO if he had been living in a city, it would have been less likely that a congregation member would have seen him going to work.
Ive lived in both, and personally, from lifelong experience, give me a small quiet town. I can live without convenience stores on every corner, the Ave's and St's. the East and the West part of town, the crowds, the traffic, the smog and track homes.
Open country, quiet, ma-and-pa store down the road, clear skies at night, everyone knowing everyone, the good ol' boys having a good time on the front porch on a Saturday night instead of some crowded club. Its not a matter of 'bad' or 'good'. Its personal choice. City folks live where they live by choice, rural or country folks live where they live by choice.
Ive lived in both, and personally, from lifelong experience, give me a small quiet town. I can live without convenience stores on every corner, the Ave's and St's. the East and the West part of town, the crowds, the traffic, the smog and track homes.
Open country, quiet, ma-and-pa store down the road, clear skies at night, everyone knowing everyone, the good ol' boys having a good time on the front porch on a Saturday night instead of some crowded club. Its not a matter of 'bad' or 'good'. Its personal choice. City folks live where they live by choice, rural or country folks live where they live by choice.
I think many people romanticize country life...too much. Yeah, there's no smog or whatever, but the people are gossipy, and many think the earth ends if you go past the county line or something. I grew up in a small town and mixed with the good ol' boys, jocks, and grunge kids as well, but life was never such a hell as when I befriended a known gay male in town.
I kind of felt sorry for him, and he was friends with my girlfriends social circle. He sometimes rode to keg parties with us, etc. That was about it. I was accused of being gay for the rest of my high school days, gossiped about (even by my aunts and cousins), etc, mostly because I wasn't hateful toward this gay kid.
Such is life in small towns.
Being a native of a small town where the football team still occassionally flies the Confederate flag in the Homecoming Parade, I can tell you that many small town people are afraid of the city and many of the residents. Many avoid cities like the plague, and seem to think that bullets are flying everywhere. Obviously not true, but that's what many of my small town co-inhabitants thought of the city.
Another little thing about small towns...don't try going to a local bar (in the Midwest anyway) without Wrangler nut-hugger jeans (talk about gay) and a John Deere hat or cowboy boots on or you'll get dirty looks all night and possibly a beer bottle broken over your head before you leave.
What I dislike most about the small towns is the gossip.
That's an excellent point -- gossip or just the fear of it. When I first moved to my town, I had a job where nearly everyone in town either knew me or new of me. I pretty much lost my privacy.
When I divorced my wife 20 years later, most everyone thought they knew what caused it. (None did, but all my ex had to do was tell a story to a couple pals and it spread like wildfire.)
Last week my son and his gf took a little trip to Hawaii with a couple of their friends. While there he asked her to marry him. They had apparently planned to tell their parents (including me) when they got back to town. Meanwhile their friends texted the news back home to other friends. When I went to get a haircut the other day, my barber congratulated me on the new daughter-in-law. I didn't know what he was talking about! Personal news travels fast in a small town.
While there are city folks who never get out of the city, few country folks can stay away from cities for long. We go there for business meetings and conferences, entertainment, shopping, and often to visit our children or grandchildren who have moved to the city for work. I don't think we have stereotypes.
I used to enjoy going to the city for weekends. Our family had season tickets to Denver Bronco games for years, and we took vacations to L.A., Miami, San Diego, San Francisco, etc., etc. Now, in my 60s, I try my best to stay out of the cities. The traffic and all the people running here and there drive me crazy. More than anything, I can't understand why anyone would retire in a city. Makes no sense to me, but neither does physics.
regarding small town gossip-------when I was laid up with shoulder surgery, I read a paperback book about a guy who toured the least populated counties in the US and interviewed the few people who lived quite remotely.
He stated, near the end of the book, that if a person wanted to drop out of society and become anonomous , don't move to the areas he visited in the book.
Mave to a tiny upper story room in New York city and nobody will know or care who you are both while living and on the day you die.
Everybody will know and know about you in rural /remote areas whether you want them to or not.
What happens to me when I have to leave my little Alaska island paradise and get off that jet in Seattle is....imagine plugging a toaster into a 220 socket. Hurts just thinking about it.
I have lived in both, on and off, and chose to live in a VERY rural community. I don't like big cities; you have to pay so much for so little, and if you give someone something, they have to do comparisons or turn it down because they are afraid of everything from friendship to poison.
Although where I live now, many of the very rural people LOVE to go to the 'big city' and come home to show off with the city duds and city food, or have to go gambling or partying or shopping. Me, I like where I am, don't care for the city at all - and if I need something from them, I can order online and have it delivered. My kids, and the friends I left behind in the cities, still love the excitement of big city life; more power to them. They're happy, I'm happy.
The lady in our town who owns the local bar belongs to our church, and is a huge contributor to it; pies and cookies for bake sales, space for birthday parties, etc. The preacher came down for the Sunday buffet dinner this past Sunday; we all sat at the "big table" and had a great time. Maybe it has to do with rural people getting along, or maybe it has to do with being the only restaurant in 40 miles, or maybe it's just that our church loves all of its members and doesn't judge.
What happens to me when I have to leave my little Alaska island paradise and get off that jet in Seattle is....imagine plugging a toaster into a 220 socket. Hurts just thinking about it.
Ive heard of some appliances that were made for the 220 they use in Europe. Its weird!
I have nothing against Gorillas, Apes, and Monkeys either.
As long as they stay in their jungles.
Or the zoo.
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Personal news travels fast in a small town. 
