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Old 06-24-2010, 06:36 PM
 
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Many people don't fit into small towns.

I will use my area for example ( central MN)

My area is mosytly Catholic with every town overf 100 pop having one Catholic churcjh and 2 beer joints/bars/liquor stores.

Town team baseball ( amatuer league Sunday afternoon) is a big deal with a state tournament on Labor Day weekend.

Lots of lakes for fishing and swimming.
High school sports are big here.

No, you don't have to fit every category, but if you fit none ( don't go to church, don't go to bars, don't like baseball, don't like fishing or swiming, don't like high school sports) you might have a hard time fitting in cuz you have little in commen with most.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:34 PM
 
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Monkey, a couple of suggestions then if you want small and still want to stay in ranch work.

Riggins, Id. Next to Hells Canyon. The road basically ends there.

Carrizozo, Ruidoso, Lincoln, Socorro, New Mexico area. Friendly people, desert, mountains, woods, skiing, good area.

Tennessee is full of good small towns...but again, unemployment is high in much of TN. Plus, it's growing and so many of the small towns are getting bigger.
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Old 06-24-2010, 11:17 PM
 
Location: The Heart of Dixie
8,271 posts, read 12,634,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Str8Arrow View Post
What's with this? I always half considered it a yuppy indicater.

I like to read through the various state forums and there are always posts by people who move to an area, especially rural areas, lived there for years, and say they still don't feel welcomed.

I can claim that I've lived in various rural areas peppered across the US and always felt welcomed, almost like an old friend in areas.

What do you make of it? How really hard is it to fit in?

I remember western North Dakota and having to repeatedly explain that I don't plan on staying, I'm just here for the job. Sorry, I have a good girl waiting for me at home, and things of the such. My problem has always been NOT fitting in too much.

I believe it is just a rural mindset and set of values. Someone from the sticks of Kansas should have no problem fitting in in the backwoods of West Virginia.

I'm from the woods of northern PA and I know my little town always welcomes newcomers. That being said, of course you're not going to fit in if you're a self-centered, self-gratifying, big mouthed, problem maker.

Is it a vibe, a feeling? I know people who I meet who I fully trust within minutes of meeting them. Just the way they are. Then there are others that I need to feel out for a week, a month, a year. Some just kind of linger in that feeling out period forever and I never really get a good grasp on who they are. And I'll tell people who are close to me, I wouldn't trust that guy.
I am a minority and yet feel like I fit in better in smaller cities and communities, especially in the southern states than in a yuppie environment. But then I am conservative, Republican, Christian and prefer that kind of lifestyle and am very laid back and easygoing, and respectful. I was raised to say sir and ma'am to anyone older than myself.

Most of the people who don't fit in, like the OP mentioned are more yuppie types. Also there are more and more transplants, especially in the South but also in exurban areas throughout the country, who didn't move by choice. I prefer to live in smaller towns, like not a totally small town of 5000 people but a small city of maybe 30,000 or 50,000 far away from a metro area. Most of the people who don't fit in also were "forced" to move there due to a spouse, job, etc. I know a guy who met his current fiancee in college, he was a typical Jersey person and she insisted on moving home to North Carolina and he's miserable there.

I live in Maryland but am thinking of moving south, and if I stay here to move away from the Baltimore area, either to the Eastern Shore or to an outlying exurban area where there is little traffic and where public transportation will never reach (it may not be true in all places but here it brings crime and undesirable elements to the suburbs). I've met a lot of people from Maryland during my time in Virginia and North Carolina, it seems those that adjust best come from more blue collar communities in Maryland rather than from a yuppie neighborhood, exclusive DC suburb or from the hood. Its the yuppies that fit in the worst, followed closely by illegal immigrants who refuse to speak English. Some small towns now have a "hood" scene beleive it or not, along with younger locals who grow up listen to rap, watching MTV and think that sort of thing is cool.

Also, most importantly, the transplatns who find it the hardest are those who want to impose their culture and worldview on natives. This includes insisting that all service be very fast and obseqious despite being in a laid-back town, acting rudely, etc. It is especially bad when liberal outsiders move to the South or to rural areas and go into the school systems and try to stop things like school prayer, insist on sayin happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas, saying that intelligent design should not be taught in schools, they want to use northern liberal textbooks that tell lies about the Civil War, etc. This causes a lot of tensions and problems. I've never heard of Southerners whoAnd when they vote Democrats into office who raise taxes, welcome illegal immigrants and redistribute hard earned money into welfare programs. Many people move away from the urban Northeast because its too expensive, but they move to a new place whether down South or rural Pennsylvania for example and vote for liberals who support higher taxes, etc etc.
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Old 06-24-2010, 11:29 PM
 
Location: The Heart of Dixie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
Many who claim they don't fit in are those who move to rural area and immediately start complaining about things like smells, sounds, farm equipment (here on the Chesapeake it's the watermen working their crab pots), hunting, lack of amenities they're used to, lack of shopping, lack of specialty stores and restaurants, etc.
I had a friend from Howard County who moved to the Eastern Shore and got a job with SOmerset County schools, and was shocked that they began staff meetings with prayers. She was smart and astute not to object to that. Its part of respecting the local culture. I'm okay with that.

Like Josh Thompson says in his song "if our backwoods way of living your concerned with, you can leave us alone". I grew up around yuppies and liberals and it was refreshing to spend some time in rural areas in Virginia and Maryland.
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Old 06-25-2010, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Niceville, FL
7,942 posts, read 16,467,597 times
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I'm an uber-nerd who collects pulp sicence fiction and fantasy tends to have issues with other people's sacred cows when they seem to be sacred by fiat. (Just 'We've always done it that way' drives me nuts; but give me a reason or three on why doing it that way turned out to work the best and I'll happily listen as long as you're willing to talk about it because I just love understanding the why of things.)

So no matter where I go, I know I'm always going to have issues finding my tribe. It's just who I am and how it is. So even in a small metro area compared to rural life, I figure I'm at least increasing the odds that there will be some sort of critical mass of other people I do 'click' with.
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:49 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
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I received quite an education today reading this fascinating thread. Having lived in cities or suburbs all my life (Los Angeles since 1966, which I love), it just never occurred to me that there are still places where someone who has lived for 17 years is still considered an outsider or places where moving to another small town 15 miles away would be an issue for one's family. It is totally foreign to everything I know, but absolutely fascinating for exactly that reason. In a way, it's nice to know that this still exists. Vive la différence!
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Old 06-26-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nala8 View Post
I can relate. Living in a rural community as a perceived outsider is not easy. What makes it easier for me is to focus on the positive or supportive people and a hobby or past-time that can be pursued with passion, regardless of whether I am accepted or not. On a tiny South Carolina sea island, I wrote, tutored/mentored a young teenaged girl who sought me out to help her with her writing, I studied for and passed with flying colors the Praxis (National Teacher's Exam), and I babysat and found fun things to do with the children in the family and the neighborhood.

Here in Madison (not exactly a small town, but one with a small-town sensibility), writing and teaching have once again helped me to have a sense of purpose--even at those times when I feel that I just don't fit in--at least not yet. I have made at least one friend in a writing workshop and a couple of friends at work. It is enough. Better to have a few good friends than a thousand mediocre or unsure friends--friends who are not intimidated or put off by my differences.
That is an excellent notion about persuing hobbies more fervently. When I first got to my rural town, I was simply depressed for quite some time, and now I find myself doing things that interest me, but with more gusto: writing and painting. I am seriously thinking about writing a book on the urban to rural transition. Also, getting a 200-hour online ESL certificate interests me. If I can find a highly reputable one out of the hundreds I see online!
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:24 PM
 
Location: The Heart of Dixie
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I also would like to say that I've seen the opposite, of people from rural areas moving into major cities or urban environments. Anyone who says that yuppies and the urban crowds are so accepting that is NOT the truth and is far from it. I live in Maryland and the only state grad schools are in Baltimore, so people from all parts of the state including very rural areas and far off, outer ring suburbs and exurbs are forced to live inside Baltimore City for school. The city basically has two elements....ghetto and yuppie. The original blue collar element that gave this city our charm is mostly in the suburbs now, not in the immediate city.

The ghetto crowd is downright hostile to outsiders. I have been called a racial slur (i am of Asian descent) just when passing through a neighborhood and making a U-turn, and another time at a stoplight because of my McCain-Palin bumper sticker (I was called a C___, and also reminded that Obama is the president and that "black people in charge now". Of the three racist experiences in my 25 years, these were two of them, the last involved a white lady in a Baltimore suburb who is at least 65 years old, who grew up when stores here refused to serve minorities or even Jews so unfortunately I guess I have to excuse her cause she couldn't have known better. I've been to "redneck" bars in rural Virginia, NOrth Carolina, and Texas and was welcomed. I cannot imagine the same happening if a white person were to go into a hip hop club in Baltimore City. White people have been physically attacked on public transportation here because some people don't want them in their neighborhood, including one particularly savage attack on a young woman by a gang of six hoodlums on a city bus.

The yuppie crowd is NOT accepting of differences. They truly feel superior to everyone else. I could never fit in with them because I didn't go to Starbucks everyday, wore clothes from Walmart instead of Abercrombie or Armani or Nordstroms, because I'm a Republican and a Christian and preferred down home cooking over sushi. I am trapped in a mostly (though thankfully not exclusively) yuppie crowd here and many people stopped talking to be when they found out I didn't support gay marriage (people still constantly bager me about that and try to force their views on me) and that I am pro-life. The yuppie crowd looks down on anyone who doesn't share or can't afford their tastes, or doesn't share their worldview. There is a story of a Hummer driver who moved into a yuppie neighborhood in DC and his car was immediately vandalized by neighbors including environmentalist graffiti painted on his vehicle and slashed tires.

Now the yuppie vs. the hood mix finally. The yuppies think of themsleves as "urban pioneers" but they don't really want to be part of the original community (the hood), and the original community would be hostile to them in any case. However they are very patronizing to the hood, talking about inequalities, social justice and such while most of them do not have a single black friend, or talking about supporting illegal immigrants and they don't have a single Hispanic friend. So I think wherever you are, its easier to fit in if you are more similar with the existing culture and don't try to impose yourself on others.
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:40 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
1,954 posts, read 4,557,530 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
I received quite an education today reading this fascinating thread. Having lived in cities or suburbs all my life (Los Angeles since 1966, which I love), it just never occurred to me that there are still places where someone who has lived for 17 years is still considered an outsider or places where moving to another small town 15 miles away would be an issue for one's family. It is totally foreign to everything I know, but absolutely fascinating for exactly that reason. In a way, it's nice to know that this still exists. Vive la différence!
I grew up in rural area and that kind of stuff is also perplexing to me. I'm not sure where these towns are, but where I grew up it was certainly not that provincial.
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Old 06-30-2010, 01:01 AM
 
Location: Metromess
11,798 posts, read 22,246,604 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skinem View Post
Carrizozo, Ruidoso, Lincoln, Socorro, New Mexico area. Friendly people, desert, mountains, woods, skiing, good area.
I second that. It's actually where I would like to retire. I'm thinking Socorro, NM in particular because it's only about an hour from Albuquerque, so if I need the city for something, it isn't too far away.
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