"Unfriendly People" Is this true??? (San Diego, San Francisco: living, prices)

[InTransit2]

I don't think Sacramento is unfriendly, exactly. It's just that everyone who lives there has lived there their whole lives, and already has extensive social circles built up. These are people, for the most part, who never left home and have no need to develop new relationships beyond their circle of friends from high school. Consequently, the only people who are really "in the market" for new friends, dating, etc. are going to be a very small number of transplants from the bay area (most of whom have been here for years) and then the losers of society who never found their niche growing up. So coming here is kind of like getting to a game of musical chairs in the last round.

The young people who don't stay here their whole lives tend to go to Santa Cruz, San Diego, and L.A. So everywhere you go you will see only baby boomers and high school kids. Midtown is the one area where the 20-30s crowd tends to flock. It's not unfriendly there, but everyone seems to already have their friends. You do not go to a bar here to make friends, you go to hang out with your existing circle of friends. You might do okay if you have a lot of tattoos on your arms and are into the hipster scene.

Just look at Meetup events for Sacramento. They can get a bunch of LGBQRST folks together, and the divorced baby boomers singles scene is bumping, but the 20-30s groups have like four members. It's just kind of a social dead zone. It's not really anyone's fault, why would you go to a Meetup group when your buddies you've known since elementary school are throwing a party that weekend? Socialization here occurs in little tribes of people, and if the clique you get accepted into doesn't have the kind of people you want, you can't do anything about that, except keep expanding into other cliques and working your way up the chain.

However, being in California, Sacramento is not affected by the social retardation that plagues the Pacific Northwest. On a day to day basis you will find people are generally upbeat, positive, and you may make a few friends with your neighbors. That certainly makes it easier to get through the day and not feel lonely.

So it's not unfriendly, but it is socially static and well-established. You can get a lot more mileage in a "destination" city where there's a steady stream of newcomers that are actually in the market for new connections.

[johninvegas]

InTransit--you are responding to a post that is three years old by a poster who hasn't been on the City-Data forum since then.

[InTransit2]

That's fine, I just wanted to put some thoughts down.

[surelyYouJest!]

@InTransit2 - I can agree with your post. I've been here my whole life with exceptions to a few hiatuses throughout my career. Though people are lovely here, I think most are socially inept…I love the people in Portland but cannot tolerate the weather. If I could bring all the Portlanders here where the weather is amazing, that would be great. Thanks for your well thought out post.

[KingJohn1]

Originally Posted by shiphead

People in Sacramento are very open to outgoing people. If you are reserved and shy, people will most likely not give you the time of day. There are very few metro areas in the USA that would be an exception to this. So... be an outgoing social butterfly without being annoying and you will be O-K

I couldn't live up to that. I always managed to say something that annoyed others. Me being outgoing often didnt work in that area. I met a few friendly people but most were not in the Sacramento area.

[luv4horses]

InTransit2, curious as to what cities you consider destination cities?

[sacite]

Originally Posted by CaliGirlcominghome1

Hello,

I am planning to move back to California after living in Portland, OR for 6 years. I am thinking the Sacremento area for the job opportunities in my field. I am thinking probably the east side, like Rocklin/Roseville/Folsom.

My question is this: I keep hearing that people in Sacramento are unfriendly. Is this really true? What are your experiences?

Thank you.

LOLOLOLOLOL. (Deep breath) LOLOLOL!

C'mon really? Coming from the PNW, and that is your question? If anything, Sac is far more open and friendly than where you are coming from, which in my opinion is a bit socially repressed in terms of day to day interaction.

[sacite]

Originally Posted by InTransit2

I don't think Sacramento is unfriendly, exactly. It's just that everyone who lives there has lived there their whole lives, and already has extensive social circles built up. These are people, for the most part, who never left home and have no need to develop new relationships beyond their circle of friends from high school. Consequently, the only people who are really "in the market" for new friends, dating, etc. are going to be a very small number of transplants from the bay area (most of whom have been here for years) and then the losers of society who never found their niche growing up. So coming here is kind of like getting to a game of musical chairs in the last round.

The young people who don't stay here their whole lives tend to go to Santa Cruz, San Diego, and L.A. So everywhere you go you will see only baby boomers and high school kids. Midtown is the one area where the 20-30s crowd tends to flock. It's not unfriendly there, but everyone seems to already have their friends. You do not go to a bar here to make friends, you go to hang out with your existing circle of friends. You might do okay if you have a lot of tattoos on your arms and are into the hipster scene.

Just look at Meetup events for Sacramento. They can get a bunch of LGBQRST folks together, and the divorced baby boomers singles scene is bumping, but the 20-30s groups have like four members. It's just kind of a social dead zone. It's not really anyone's fault, why would you go to a Meetup group when your buddies you've known since elementary school are throwing a party that weekend? Socialization here occurs in little tribes of people, and if the clique you get accepted into doesn't have the kind of people you want, you can't do anything about that, except keep expanding into other cliques and working your way up the chain.

However, being in California, Sacramento is not affected by the social retardation that plagues the Pacific Northwest. On a day to day basis you will find people are generally upbeat, positive, and you may make a few friends with your neighbors. That certainly makes it easier to get through the day and not feel lonely.

So it's not unfriendly, but it is socially static and well-established. You can get a lot more mileage in a "destination" city where there's a steady stream of newcomers that are actually in the market for new connections.

Your conclusion from this statement is not accurate. Actually, the fact that most are native to Sacramento is the very reason it is an easy going, relaxed place. People are very comfortable in Sac just being themselves. It shows up in how they dress, interact with other people and in their celebration of ethnic and lifestyle diversity. It's a big collage of people who as you accurately state have not left the area, and as a result have developed a sort of small town simple approach to life. No one is on guard in Sac as they are in bigger cities where there are many transplants and people to be wary of for all sorts of reasons. In Sac, you have a good idea that the person you are talking to is probably from there, and that fact alone immediately lowers the barriers towards communication. It's incredibly easy to talk to people in Sac and make friends. Ten times easier than it was in the bay area or in my opinion, probably where I am typing this right now - Seattle, WA.

I think sometimes you have to just realize that any area takes some time and effort to adapt. I often visit SF, which I love. But no amount of reasoning could make me believe that it's a friendly place. You can say hi to 10 people on the street and get 10 heads that will not turn. The trick is always to find the place in any city where you fit in, doing the activities that you love. Then, you will meet like minded people and you'll feel more comfortable overall.

[WizardOfRadical]

Sacramento and really central valley people in general, tend to be a rather surly lot. Humble, but surly. Similar to people in Green Bay, Wisconsin, or Felton , Ca.

Often times it comes off as ghetto or rednecky, instead of blue collar rust belt.

[Chimérique]

Originally Posted by WizardOfRadical

Sacramento and really central valley people in general, tend to be a rather surly lot. Humble, but surly. Similar to people in Green Bay, Wisconsin, or Felton , Ca.

Often times it comes off as ghetto or rednecky, instead of blue collar rust belt.

Sacramentans for the most part are good-natured, humble, and friendly.

A lot of Bay Areans for the most part are smug, conceited, rude, passive-aggressive, and provincial. But that's ok we still like them, and we spend a lot of our money there.