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Old 08-31-2010, 12:06 PM
 
32 posts, read 42,596 times
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Hi,

My wife is interviewing for a job in SLC and I have read a number of threads on here with the good/bad about SLC. Of course, I am concerned about the bad, but the more perspective we have will help us determine if we are willing to make the move for this job.

There are three things that stuck out to me. One, someone mentioned moving into a neighborhood (Cottonwood, but not certain) & said that once neighbors realized they weren't going to convert they basically gave them the cold shoulder.

We are not the most social, outgoing person you will ever meet. However, we are friendly and would like to have a good relationship with our neighbors. Being shunned for our beliefs (or lack of) does not sit well with me. Some people agreed with the person that mentioned this and others refuted it. I don't know how you can refute it without proof. Everyone has different experiences, but I am trying to get a better idea of how common this is.

My bigger concern is my son. I read how their child (elementary school) came home from public school spouting Mormon doctrine. I don't have a problem people having various religious beliefs. I don't have a problem with my son if he wants to explore religion when he's old enough to understand and make those decisions himself. However, I don't want it thrust upon him. That would definitely keep me from moving to any city/area.

Lastly, some people mentioned that they felt a bias toward LDS existed in hiring. They also said, they had no proof, but that was just their feeling....once again backed by other posters.

I want to give it a fair shake, but I just want to find what other experiences have been, both from people who are LDS and non-LDS.

Also, area that may be good to rent. Looking for something preferably no higher than $1500-$1700.

Thanks and I appreciate any insight.
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Old 08-31-2010, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Jones, Oklahoma
602 posts, read 1,681,290 times
Reputation: 212
Quote:
Originally Posted by seethesun View Post
Hi,

My wife is interviewing for a job in SLC and I have read a number of threads on here with the good/bad about SLC. Of course, I am concerned about the bad, but the more perspective we have will help us determine if we are willing to make the move for this job.

There are three things that stuck out to me. One, someone mentioned moving into a neighborhood (Cottonwood, but not certain) & said that once neighbors realized they weren't going to convert they basically gave them the cold shoulder.

We are not the most social, outgoing person you will ever meet. However, we are friendly and would like to have a good relationship with our neighbors. Being shunned for our beliefs (or lack of) does not sit well with me. Some people agreed with the person that mentioned this and others refuted it. I don't know how you can refute it without proof. Everyone has different experiences, but I am trying to get a better idea of how common this is.

My bigger concern is my son. I read how their child (elementary school) came home from public school spouting Mormon doctrine. I don't have a problem people having various religious beliefs. I don't have a problem with my son if he wants to explore religion when he's old enough to understand and make those decisions himself. However, I don't want it thrust upon him. That would definitely keep me from moving to any city/area.

Lastly, some people mentioned that they felt a bias toward LDS existed in hiring. They also said, they had no proof, but that was just their feeling....once again backed by other posters.

I want to give it a fair shake, but I just want to find what other experiences have been, both from people who are LDS and non-LDS.

Also, area that may be good to rent. Looking for something preferably no higher than $1500-$1700.

Thanks and I appreciate any insight.
You are definitely going to get a variety of opinions on this because as you said, we all have different experiences. I think it really depends on where you live. SLC is fairly diverse and you will find all different types of people there. We live in Ogden which is also fairly diverse. The LDS people that we've met while we've lived here have been wonderful. Our landlord, daycare/preschool teacher, half my office co-workers and my SO's entire staff (he works in Logan) are LDS. They have been nothing but wonderful and kind to us and we've never had any issues with religion come up, nor have we had any beliefs thrust upon us. The missionaries have not knocked on our door the whole time we've lived here. This is our individual experience however, and I know there are posters here that have had significant issues, so honestly I think sometimes it's just a crapshoot. The major issue we had here is it was very hard for us to make friends at first. People are always nice, but they are sort of slow to really warm up to you and be true "friends" rather than acquaintances. We didn't know anyone except who we worked with for the first 6 months we were here and it was very lonely. When the snow melted and the temps warmed up though, we began meeting our neighbors (who all happen to be non-LDS). Any new place is going to be difficult and I think that is universal no matter where you relocate to. Keep an open mind and give it plenty of time and I think you will really come to appreciate Utah if you choose to move here
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Old 08-31-2010, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,828 posts, read 56,039,834 times
Reputation: 19025
College, church, and work are the places most people find friends, no matter where they live. If you knock out any of them, your chances become smaller. That said, I have many friends here, some from former work places, some neighborhood, some from various activities; I don't attend church here.
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Old 08-31-2010, 05:47 PM
 
Location: South Jordan, Utah
6,801 posts, read 7,370,211 times
Reputation: 2960
Quote:
Originally Posted by seethesun View Post
Hi,

My wife is interviewing for a job in SLC and I have read a number of threads on here with the good/bad about SLC. Of course, I am concerned about the bad, but the more perspective we have will help us determine if we are willing to make the move for this job.

There are three things that stuck out to me. One, someone mentioned moving into a neighborhood (Cottonwood, but not certain) & said that once neighbors realized they weren't going to convert they basically gave them the cold shoulder.

We are not the most social, outgoing person you will ever meet. However, we are friendly and would like to have a good relationship with our neighbors. Being shunned for our beliefs (or lack of) does not sit well with me. Some people agreed with the person that mentioned this and others refuted it. I don't know how you can refute it without proof. Everyone has different experiences, but I am trying to get a better idea of how common this is.

My bigger concern is my son. I read how their child (elementary school) came home from public school spouting Mormon doctrine. I don't have a problem people having various religious beliefs. I don't have a problem with my son if he wants to explore religion when he's old enough to understand and make those decisions himself. However, I don't want it thrust upon him. That would definitely keep me from moving to any city/area.

Lastly, some people mentioned that they felt a bias toward LDS existed in hiring. They also said, they had no proof, but that was just their feeling....once again backed by other posters.

I want to give it a fair shake, but I just want to find what other experiences have been, both from people who are LDS and non-LDS.

Also, area that may be good to rent. Looking for something preferably no higher than $1500-$1700.

Thanks and I appreciate any insight.
We will have lived here one year tomorrow and so far it has been nothing but positive and we live in the only city in the world with TWO LDS temples.

It helps to get involved with other groups rather quickly, we joined our community wine club (on Facebook) before we even moved here. This helped us get to know people rather quickly.

Our kids school is GREAT, we love the teachers and have not had any issues with students, our kids have play dates and friends just like back in CA.

Even though we live near a temple it does seem that our area is rather diverse, we love it. www.daybreakutah.com
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Old 08-31-2010, 09:21 PM
 
90 posts, read 256,968 times
Reputation: 108
I'm not LDS and I grew up in Salt Lake City not too long ago (I'm 22 now). I am going to re-post a post I wrote a few months ago about my experiences with school and friends in Salt Lake. Hopefully it will give you a nuanced response to the interplay of school, kids, and religion... At least in Salt Lake.

Quote:
The “moving to Utah with kids” question is one that seems to come up a lot. I think I can add a new perspective on this topic, as, while I have seen people give lots of reasonable advice, I have never really seen anyone address my experience with the Mormon/non-Mormon dynamic in schools. I am 22-years-old, so my experience with growing up in Salt Lake is still pretty recent, though I left the state for college. I was born and grew up in SLC to non-Mormon parents. I also think my experience may be more particular to Salt Lake proper than the suburban areas where the OP was originally talking about living, but I haven’t seen it really come up in these discussions. Of the non-Mormons I knew who went to school out of the Salt Lake District, most of them fit in fine at school, others, not so much. I know one girl in particular who went to Skyline (I think) whose father was a pastor and she got lots of grief for that.

My local elementary school had an advanced program that attracted kids from all across the valley, so we had a rather diverse selection of students. Many of their parents were affiliated with the University of Utah, so they tended to be non-Mormon and originally from out of state, but I’d say at least 50% of my elementary school class was Mormon, probably more. At this age, it was never an issue. I had tons of Mormon and non-Mormon friends and we all played together just fine. I remember some confusing moments, such as having a girl shriek repeatedly “You swore! You swore!” after I said, “Oh my God!” I ended up in tears because I didn’t know what I had said wrong and the teacher had to take me aside and explain that some people considered that swearing. In fifth grade a girl told me that I wasn’t going to heaven because I wasn’t LDS, but that didn’t really bother me. I figure neither of those examples are distinctly Mormon, they could happen in any place with a strong, conservative religious culture.

Many of my classmates followed me to West High for its 7th and 8th grade honors program that is set in the high school, as well as many new students from other schools. I remember that religious divisions began to come up a little more in those years, as general growing up and life in a big, urban high school exposed us to more issues. I remember some issues (such as the school’s Gay/Straight Alliance) being hot topics, to which many Mormon students declared, “The Church says it’s wrong,” and the non-Mormons declared back, “The Church is wrong.” This is about the time we became aware of a division, but it didn’t really affect the social scene yet.

That really started in high school. I’m not exactly sure when LDS kids start the Young Men’s/Young Women’s groups, but I remember this is when I started feeling excluded from my Mormon friends’ conversations, which all seemed to revolve around what they had done at Young Women’s last week. Additionally, most Mormon students opted to take seminary for an elective in high school, so they would get a free period and walk across the street to the LDS Seminary for classes. My Mormon friends had less time to hang out as church activities took up more and more of their time. Looking back on it, it makes sense. Adolescence is the time when people start to question their beliefs, as well as being extremely susceptible to peer-pressure, so it makes sense that this is about the time when the Church really draws young people into its social networks and activities. As a result, a distinct divide arose between Mormon and non-Mormon students, how they spent their time during and after school, and who they hung out with. One of my best friends was a devout Mormon, but she had always moved between the social groups quite easily. Around this time, her Mormon friends started dropping not-so-subtle hints when she hung out with us about how she needed to surround herself by people with the right values and good characters. She eventually joined the choir group, although she hated singing, because that was what all the “good” Mormon girls did. This division was exacerbated in the later years of high school when dating and parties entered the social scene. Many of the non-Mormon students I knew got quite into partying (I have no basis for comparison with teenage partying outside of Utah though). I, personally, was a bit of a nerd. I studied hard, got straight As, didn’t drink or party, so I certainly was not a bad influence. I had many friends, but I never got invited to parties or asked out on dates… So I wasn’t really a part of that social circle. At the same time, I didn’t fit in with the Mormon students, because even though I behaved well, I wasn’t Mormon, and their social lives mostly revolved around church activities by then. I certainly wasn’t a friendless loner throughout high school, but I definitely didn’t fit into either group.

I left the state for college, so the rest of my experiences come from observations while I was back home or talking to friends. Many of my friends went to the University of Utah. My good friend who was Mormon joined the LDS Sorority and hasn’t really been heard from since, but so it goes. People change social groups in college. Some other friends have complained about it being hard to meet people because a lot of young people our age are married. On the other hand, there are enough non-Mormons in SLC that people who grow up here are already part of those social networks (I would imagine it’s a lot harder if someone just came to the state for school or work). My non-Mormon friends all have their own active social lives that revolve around school, work, friends, going to concerts, coffee shops, bars, parties, and all those things that 20-somethings do anywhere in the country.

I don’t live in Utah anymore and whenever I meet someone the conversation generally goes like this: “Where are you from?” “Utah.” “Oh… (awkward pause) Utah… (pause) Are you Mormon?” “No.” “Oh thank God! …Are any of your friends Mormon?” And my instinct is to say, “Yes, I have lots of Mormon friends!” but then I realized recently… I don’t really anymore. My close LDS friends from high school have drifted away, some getting married, others going on missions, others getting super-involved in LDS social activities, and others just drifting away. But I left the state for college, so it’s inevitable I would lose more high school friends. What I find kind of strange is that none of my non-Mormon friends who stayed in state seem to have any Mormon friends either.

Looking back, there is definitely a social divide between Mormon and non-Mormon kids, and it really surfaces around high school. But in my case, it wasn’t the “We can’t hang out because you’re not LDS,” bluntness that most people fear when moving to Utah (though I did know a girl who was told by the guy she liked that they couldn’t date because she wasn’t LDS). It’s a subtler change in people’s social habits, like the changes all high schoolers go through, with a religious subtext. I think it’s easier for young people who grow up in Utah and who develop alternative friend groups as they grow up than new transplants who don’t know where to meet people, or the correct social cues (Utah has a lot of those…) That said, I wonder how much of this is applicable only to Salt Lake City, as opposed to suburbs with a much higher percentage of LDS students.

I apologize for the epic post, but I just wanted to provide a different perspective on this question. In my experience, it’s much more subtle than “Mormon kids will shun your kids and they will be socially isolated” and “Mormon kids will welcome you with open arms and be positive influences on your kid’s behavior.”
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Old 08-31-2010, 11:25 PM
 
Location: Happy in Utah
1,224 posts, read 3,012,938 times
Reputation: 912
To the Op, Salt lake is very diverse so you will be fine.I think you should be fine in all of Utah. as for jobs perfering LDS I do not think that is true. When hubby was pinked sliped he got help from the LDS job services with updateing his resume and interview skills( we are not LDS). Dont be offended if you are invited to ward activaties they are fun, and its a good way to meet your neighboars. We have been here for 4 yrs and have had only one or 2 incadents where anyone was nasty because of us not being LDS and honestly this group would have been nasty no matter what. You will be fine in Utah
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:18 PM
 
Location: Pearland, TX
3,333 posts, read 8,036,294 times
Reputation: 2322
Quote:
Originally Posted by michelleleigh View Post
To the Op, Salt lake is very diverse so you will be fine.I think you should be fine in all of Utah. as for jobs perfering LDS I do not think that is true. When hubby was pinked sliped he got help from the LDS job services with updateing his resume and interview skills( we are not LDS). Dont be offended if you are invited to ward activaties they are fun, and its a good way to meet your neighboars. We have been here for 4 yrs and have had only one or 2 incadents where anyone was nasty because of us not being LDS and honestly this group would have been nasty no matter what. You will be fine in Utah
My experience is the total opposite. SLC is not diverse, it's lily white. Attending ward activities is tantamount to saying "Yes, please, invade my privacy and send missionaries to my house to convert me".

I'm not saying you can't live in SLC as a non-mormon, but beware...any card-carrying Mormon worth his/her salt is going to try to convert you. They have to, or, according to their own teaching, they won't attain the Celestial Kingdom.

Just sayin'...

Ronnie
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:38 PM
 
Location: South Jordan, Utah
6,801 posts, read 7,370,211 times
Reputation: 2960
Quote:
Originally Posted by HoustonRonnie View Post
My experience is the total opposite. SLC is not diverse, it's lily white. Attending ward activities is tantamount to saying "Yes, please, invade my privacy and send missionaries to my house to convert me".

I'm not saying you can't live in SLC as a non-mormon, but beware...any card-carrying Mormon worth his/her salt is going to try to convert you. They have to, or, according to their own teaching, they won't attain the Celestial Kingdom.

Just sayin'...

Ronnie
So your experience is the only valid one?

As for lily white, my next door neighbors are Jamaican (Black) with a Scotsman, next to them are Hispanics, and next to them are Asians. In the 8 houses in my square 37% of them have minorities.

I have attended Ward activities months ago, when do I start losing my privacy?
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:45 PM
 
Location: The other side of the mountain
2,447 posts, read 5,918,877 times
Reputation: 1185
Quote:
Originally Posted by hilgi View Post
I have attended Ward activities months ago, when do I start losing my privacy?
In the 16 years I have lived here, me (or some member of my family) has attended ward activites throughout the years. I would assume you will lose your privacy about the same time we do. When it happens, I will be sure to let you know so that you can be on the lookout!
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:49 PM
 
Location: South Jordan, Utah
6,801 posts, read 7,370,211 times
Reputation: 2960
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaytidid View Post
In the 16 years I have lived here, me (or some member of my family) has attended ward activites throughout the years. I would assume you will lose your privacy about the same time we do. When it happens, I will be sure to let you know so that you can be on the lookout!
Thanks, I will keep on my foil hat just in case.
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