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Question -- Have any of you noticed a trend in the way people deal with each other here in the Salt Lake area (or all of Utah, I don't know about the rest)??? We've lived here a few years, have no problem with LDS people, and generally like it. We have noticed a trend here we haven't seen to this extent anywhere else. It is the difficulty we encounter to just get a regular question answered when asked. I mean, just a regular (even logistical) question (not personal, offensive, not politics/religion). This happens at work and elsewhere. It seems you ask and you get a very brief response that really requires more detail, but they make you ask each question to get each detail. It feels like the 20 question game, and the crazy thing is, it isn't even secret knowledge or anything of substance or sensitivity! Also, we've run across a lot more lying from people here, again, not about anything huge, but just if they are slightly worried it could be an issue, they would rather lie, and sometimes we can't figure out the motivation for the lie as there was no issue.
Sociology says that different areas have different cultures as far as how the people, in general, relate to each other. For instance, people from New York and New Jersey (among other places) are known for being very direct and blunt with each other. Southerners tend to be very polite and not as direct, but may talk behind your back. There is something mentioned on this site and in other places called the "Seattle freeze", where the people there are plenty nice to you, but don't make new friends readily (just stick with their existing family/friends). It seems hard to make real friends there even after you've lived there for a few years. We experienced that when we lived there. Anyway, there are many others about other places and these are general trends, so we're not talking individuals.
It seems that you have to move somewhere to notice it. If you grow up somewhere or have even lived there a long time, you are adjusted and don't notice. Usually an outside perspective is needed.
I understand areas develop their ways of relating based on the culture and specific history of an area. Someone said maybe it originally came from the long-ago LDS culture which was very careful with any information sharing. Don't know. My reason for asking is to find out if it is just us noticing this or have others noticed too?? Also, to maybe get an insight as to where it came from, not to insult anybody. Thanks!
Last edited by whataboututah; 11-18-2011 at 03:38 PM..
Question -- Have any of you noticed a trend in the way people deal with each other here in the Salt Lake area (or all of Utah, I don't know about the rest)??? We've lived here a few years, have no problem with LDS people, and generally like it. We have noticed a trend here we haven't seen to this extent anywhere else. It is the difficulty we encounter to just get a regular question answered when asked. I mean, just a regular (even logistical) question (not personal, offensive, not politics/religion). This happens at work and elsewhere. It seems you ask and you get a very brief response that really requires more detail, but they make you ask each question to get each detail. It feels like the 20 question game, and the crazy thing is, it isn't even secret knowledge or anything of substance or sensitivity! Also, we've run across a lot more lying from people here, again, not about anything huge, but just if they are slightly worried it could be an issue, they would rather lie, and sometimes we can't figure out the motivation for the lie as there was no issue.
Sociology says that different areas have different cultures as far as how the people, in general, relate to each other. For instance, people from New York and New Jersey (among other places) are known for being very direct and blunt with each other. Southerners tend to be very polite and not as direct, but may talk behind your back. There is something mentioned on this site and in other places called the "Seattle freeze", where the people there are plenty nice to you, but don't make new friends readily (just stick with their existing family/friends). It seems hard to make real friends there even after you've lived there for a few years. We experienced that when we lived there. Anyway, there are many others about other places and these are general trends, so we're not talking individuals.
It seems that you have to move somewhere to notice it. If you grow up somewhere or have even lived there a long time, you are adjusted and don't notice. Usually an outside perspective is needed.
I understand areas develop their ways of relating based on the culture and specific history of an area. Someone said maybe it originally came from the long-ago LDS culture which was very careful with any information sharing. Don't know. My reason for asking is to find out if it is just us noticing this or have others noticed too?? Also, to maybe get an insight as to where it came from, not to insult anybody. Thanks!
It would be helpful, to me at least, if you were to give some examples. I'm trying really hard to figure out what you're talking about and not being very successful.
We have only been here 18 years but I have yet to encounter anyone that was less than direct. This stint in Utah includes 15 years in PC and the last 3 here in the valley. For what it is worth, we had more encounters of the type you are describing in the first 15 years then the previous 3..Most of the people in PC are not natives either, just .
I am the original poster. Sorry if I was vague. Here are some examples. Sorry if they are long, but that's part of the 20 questions thing - it takes a long time to get the information!
A person at my job makes a delivery of a piece of equipment to a customer after being repaired. He comes back with the item still in the truck. I oversee this department, so I need to know why. This happens sometimes due to running out of time to do all deliveries, customer not there for delivery, etc., so it isn't a big deal to ask (not accusing him of anything).
me "Weren't we supposed to deliver that today? What happened?"
him "I did"
me "Why's it still in the truck?"
him "I brought it back"
me "Why?"
him "The guy told me to"
me "Why?"
him "a part on the side was broken"
me "did we break it here?"
him "no"
me "did you break it getting it out of the truck?"
him "no"
me "was it broken originally?"
him "no"
me "did he break it?"
him "yes"
me "when?"
him "after I got it out of the truck"
me "so what are we doing about it?"
him "he told me to bring it back"
me "are we fixing it?"
him "yes"
me "is the guy paying for that?"
him "yes"
me "is he mad about it?"
him "no, he just figured he'd send it back to get fixed after he broke it"
So he could have said at my first question, "After I got it off the truck and was done delivering it, the guy went to move it himself and then broke a side piece, so he asked if I'd bring it back to fix what he broke", rather than have me ask 12 more questions to get that info. He didn't do anything wrong so there was no reason to be vague, so that isn't the motive here - it is just a style of relating, it seems.
We have also had our bosses, co-workers, friends, and the public do that - maybe not quite as long. They just offer one piece of info and then you are supposed to ask for the rest. Like a boss says "a repair person is coming today" and then sits there, then we go "when?" "for what?" "what's the problem I need to tell them?" "do I pay them or will you later?" etc. Instead of the boss offerring some details up front.
Also, say we're chatting with a friendly person about our pets and we say we feed a certain food that's hard to find. They say "oh you can get that here", then we say "oh, so you've seen it?" "yes" "where?" "in salt lake and ogden" "what's the name of the shops?" ...then they name the shops with no problem, so why not just say that right away?
I am the original poster. Sorry if I was vague. Here are some examples. Sorry if they are long, but that's part of the 20 questions thing - it takes a long time to get the information!
A person at my job makes a delivery of a piece of equipment to a customer after being repaired. He comes back with the item still in the truck. I oversee this department, so I need to know why. This happens sometimes due to running out of time to do all deliveries, customer not there for delivery, etc., so it isn't a big deal to ask (not accusing him of anything).
me "Weren't we supposed to deliver that today? What happened?"
him "I did"
me "Why's it still in the truck?"
him "I brought it back"
me "Why?"
him "The guy told me to"
me "Why?"
him "a part on the side was broken"
me "did we break it here?"
him "no"
me "did you break it getting it out of the truck?"
him "no"
me "was it broken originally?"
him "no"
me "did he break it?"
him "yes"
me "when?"
him "after I got it out of the truck"
me "so what are we doing about it?"
him "he told me to bring it back"
me "are we fixing it?"
him "yes"
me "is the guy paying for that?"
him "yes"
me "is he mad about it?"
him "no, he just figured he'd send it back to get fixed after he broke it"
So he could have said at my first question, "After I got it off the truck and was done delivering it, the guy went to move it himself and then broke a side piece, so he asked if I'd bring it back to fix what he broke", rather than have me ask 12 more questions to get that info. He didn't do anything wrong so there was no reason to be vague, so that isn't the motive here - it is just a style of relating, it seems.
We have also had our bosses, co-workers, friends, and the public do that - maybe not quite as long. They just offer one piece of info and then you are supposed to ask for the rest. Like a boss says "a repair person is coming today" and then sits there, then we go "when?" "for what?" "what's the problem I need to tell them?" "do I pay them or will you later?" etc. Instead of the boss offerring some details up front.
Also, say we're chatting with a friendly person about our pets and we say we feed a certain food that's hard to find. They say "oh you can get that here", then we say "oh, so you've seen it?" "yes" "where?" "in salt lake and ogden" "what's the name of the shops?" ...then they name the shops with no problem, so why not just say that right away?
LOL. Okay, I guess I really have no comment. Sounds kind of weird to me, but I've always lived here so I really have nothing to compare it to.
It is funny and strange, and like I said, the shorter versions where there are only 5-7 questions to get the info needed are much more common. The one at work was particularly long. It's like the person has the info already, lets you know they have info, but then won't share it until you ask each specific question. They clearly aren't being mean or doing it on purpose, just more like a habit of relating.
I just showed this to DH and he just laughed. He deals with many, MANY people for his work and has come across this a few times. We are from NJ and never remember it back there. Of course, it could be a generational thing as opposed to a regional/cultural thing, which would explain why we don't remember it happening back there 18 years ago.
Question -- Have any of you noticed a trend in the way people deal with each other here in the Salt Lake area (or all of Utah, I don't know about the rest)??? We've lived here a few years, have no problem with LDS people, and generally like it. We have noticed a trend here we haven't seen to this extent anywhere else. It is the difficulty we encounter to just get a regular question answered when asked. I mean, just a regular (even logistical) question (not personal, offensive, not politics/religion). This happens at work and elsewhere. It seems you ask and you get a very brief response that really requires more detail, but they make you ask each question to get each detail. It feels like the 20 question game, and the crazy thing is, it isn't even secret knowledge or anything of substance or sensitivity! Also, we've run across a lot more lying from people here, again, not about anything huge, but just if they are slightly worried it could be an issue, they would rather lie, and sometimes we can't figure out the motivation for the lie as there was no issue.
Sociology says that different areas have different cultures as far as how the people, in general, relate to each other. For instance, people from New York and New Jersey (among other places) are known for being very direct and blunt with each other. Southerners tend to be very polite and not as direct, but may talk behind your back. There is something mentioned on this site and in other places called the "Seattle freeze", where the people there are plenty nice to you, but don't make new friends readily (just stick with their existing family/friends). It seems hard to make real friends there even after you've lived there for a few years. We experienced that when we lived there. Anyway, there are many others about other places and these are general trends, so we're not talking individuals.
It seems that you have to move somewhere to notice it. If you grow up somewhere or have even lived there a long time, you are adjusted and don't notice. Usually an outside perspective is needed.
I understand areas develop their ways of relating based on the culture and specific history of an area. Someone said maybe it originally came from the long-ago LDS culture which was very careful with any information sharing. Don't know. My reason for asking is to find out if it is just us noticing this or have others noticed too?? Also, to maybe get an insight as to where it came from, not to insult anybody. Thanks!
I was thinking, maybe you should ask your questions in a differant way? Like, "tell me everything you know about this delivery?"
.
You are hoping the person can 'read your mind', and you expect them to give you all the information. The dog food, "do you know where we can find it, and the names of the stores?"
I haven't noticed anything like this, but the LDS are trained to NOT GOSSIP, so it might have something to do with that. Other, then that, I don't know. Your workers could be afraid of you.
I moved to SLC about 3 months ago and I lived in NJ for a year before moving here (I'm originally from Brazil, I'm in the US as an Au Pair). I think people in the East Coast were quite easy to interact with in comparison to here. I live in the Avenues and I do notice the difference between here and the other neighborhoods, people here seem to be more "open".
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