non-LDS family considering move to SLC

[giesdorf2002]

I am not LDS and I lived there for 7 years. Frankly, I loved it. My neighbors were great, always willing to help. They had their problems just like everybody else, but it really was never an issue. I made it a point in learning about the LDS religion as much as possible, read a lot of the the literature and participated in many of their church activities such as relief society (woman's club) etc. After I had my last two babies, my mormon friends brought me dinner for a few days...you get the picture. Cultural events are important. SLC has a synphony, opera and theatre. While the overall "energy" of the place is very provincial, I have never seen that many folks own pianos.
Besides that if you like the outdoors, this is the place to be. I did a lot of hiking and camping with my children who still talk about the Uintas and waterfall canyon (behind the campus in Ogden).
Anyway, I had a very good experience, and so can you. Being open-minded about the religion is really important. It allowed me to participate in community and even see inside of a LDS temple, which gentiles generally will not be able to enter. BTW--I am catholic and was never pushed into conversion.
As far as politics are concerned, it is basically run like a tribal level society with church leaders also having political power. It is very Republican, which may be shifting though, see BYU students response to Vice president Cheney as key note speaker just a few weeks ago.
One more thing--LDS folks do not appreciate any foul language, drinking of alkohol and caffein.

[jhwest]

I am Mormon, but I have always lived in places where I have been in the minority (Detroit, New York, Portland). My husband got a job here in SLC five years ago, and I really have to say that I'm not a big fan of it here. My neigborhood in West Jordan is about 60% Mormon. Neither the members or nonmembers have been very welcoming. I have found that people who have lived here their whole lives don't really feel the need to expand their social horizons. It's not a religion thing. I can't tell you how many people I've taken cookies to, and in five years we've gotten invited over to dinner at a neigbors house twice.
I am also one of only two stay at home moms in my nighborhood. Very isolating. We have considered moving out to Daybreak, which is a wonderful neighborhood and full of kids. Just be aware, though, that the majority of kids in the SLC area are going to be LDS, just because we have more kids than nonmembers. Mormons are really drawn to new construction, for some odd reason. Sugarhouse does have some a lot of non-LDS families, but you definitely will not get very much house for your money.
My kids have always been fine with non-member friends. There are always rumors of non-LDS children not being allowed to play with LDS ones, but I have never come across any members of the church who have actually felt that way. I think it's some sort of SLC Urban Legend.
The weather here is perfect. Four great seasons. Lots of Sun. We have gotten tired of not feeling like we are welcomed by anyone, so we're actually looking to move out of state this summer. Don't know where to go, though.

[melanieum]

I would stay away from Davis and Utah county at all costs. I moved to Davis County 2 years ago. After a few months I told the "visiting teacher" a lady assigned to me by the church to come a "visit" me that I would love to be part of the neighborhood but had no interest in attending church. Since then no one, and I mean NO ONE- has even spoken to us. I have 2 children that are not invited to play with anyone that is LDS. ( Not very Christian if you asked me).
Anyway I grew up in the LDS church so I know what it is all about. I choose not to be a part of it anymore.I am lucky in one aspect my child is in the Specturm Program here ( gifted and talented) and so we go to a school in another area of the city. So both of us have found a few friends there. I have found it interesting that transplants in this area have allowed their children to be baptized just so they will "belong" - it makes me sad because they are unaware of what obligations ( both earthly and supposely spiritually) that they are subjecting their children too.
I was also pretty shocked how when people find out that I CHOOSE not to be a member anymore, they open up and start telling me how much they wish they could leave or that they dont even understand the basics of the teachings. All of the women tell me that they feel sad and there is no one they can trust to talk to you.
Anyway I am not going to bash on the LDS church or the people in it. But it does affect the community at large, but most of it is felt by NON-LDS people and those who have left the church. I really do understand where LDS people come from since I was raise in it, and they really have a lot of sadness for others that they consider "lost". It is really with the best of intentions that they want to "save" you and consider it protection of their children not to play with mine. I was told not to play with non-LDS kids when I was a child too. I did not understand then what I do now. I wish I could go back and include those couple of kids that were always left out.
Anyway we are definately moving as soon as the time is right for our family. I will miss so much about Utah, but am excited to live some where I am respected for being an honest, caring, law abiding citizen, good mother and wife no matter what religion I am, or have been.
And since I am a stay at home Mom that will be returning to work next year ( both kids will be in school full time then) I will be thrilled to be living somewhere that I get paid the SAME WAGE AS THE MEN I WORK WITH. Since women here are paid on average >30 cents less on the dollar- per hour than the men are. Another interesting fact - More married women work out of the home here than in any other State. Most families are so large they require 2 + incomes.
I hope that my story and my opinions give you some clarity.
Anyway have a great day,
Melanie

[chazcrew]

Just FYI, for anyone who reads this, those sites melanieum linked to are anti-mormon sites. Fore-warned is fore-armed.

[coolcats]

Originally Posted by melanieum

I will be thrilled to be living somewhere that I get paid the SAME WAGE AS THE MEN I WORK WITH. Since women here are paid on average >30 cents less on the dollar- per hour than the men are

I removed the links to the ex-Mormon websites as those are tangential to the topic at hand. Also, I have a comment about the pay disparity. Nationwide, women who have been out of college more than 10 years earn an average of 69 cents for each dollar that men earn. There are a myriad of reasons why, which don't fit the scope of this topic. But to say its a Utah-only problem is not accurate.

Anyway, thanks for your opinions, even if I don't wholeheartedly agree with all of them. Good luck with whatever choice in locales you make.

[Char in West Jordan]

My advice would be to stay far away from any Kennecott land development area. Kennecott is the world's largest open-pit copper mine. It has horrible problems with pollution of both soil and water. I live on the west-side of the Salt Lake Valley and have just found that an acid plume of hazardous water is leaking from a Kennecott settling pond and is now threatening ground water in 3 cities. Just this week it was discovered that arsnic 30X the normal level have been found running for 15 miles through 3 cities and one township. See ksl.com (local channel 5 News) and read John Hollenhorst's article "Investigators study what appears to be a rich vein of poison" This contamination appears to be the remnants of an old waste water ditch that carried run off from the mine. It was burried years ago and is just now being investigated by the EPA with results comming this summer. New neighborhoods are now being built and while digging basements they are releasing this toxin into the air and that's why the EPA is involved. RUN from Daybreak! They make it look so good, big energy-efficiant homes and a great master-planned comunity...all built on a bed of hazardous waste. Look at the East bench. I want to move from the west-side after hearing yet more shocking environmental news about Kennecott's contamination of the west-side of the valley.

[melanieum]

Originally Posted by chazcrew

Just FYI, for anyone who reads this, those sites melanieum linked to are anti-mormon sites. Fore-warned is fore-armed.

Hey I was wondering why allowing people to see another possible side to a religion is so scary? I am not anti-mormon, I am pro- awareness. People, as Adults, should be allow to choose their own forms of spirituality. As adults we should be able to look at all sides and still make a choice.

Had I not found some of the information that I did I would still be feeling guilty about not being able to meet a super -human preparing to be a Goddess criteria. ( You can read more about what kind of mental and emotional issues can arise from this in " Healing the shame that binds you" by John Bradshaw - who is not Mormon nor and anti - Mormon because there is such a thing) This book is not about any religion or insitution in particular- and deals with many other causes of toxic shame.

Members of any church that are not allowed to do what their very founder did, look for a religion that met this spiritual needs, should question why? Educating themselves shouldn't been seen as a threat, unless there is something to be afraid of.

It is my experience that blind faith leads to stumped individuality and repressed life experiences- I am glad you found your true church and that it works for you. Please accept me, as Christ would have, for the fact that it didn't work for me.

With respect,
Melanie

[Calibelle]

Originally Posted by melanieum

#
It is my experience that blind faith leads to stumped individuality and repressed life experiences- I am glad you found your true church and that it works for you. Please accept me, as Christ would have, for the fact that it didn't work for me.

With respect,
Melanie

I accept you Mel. In fact, I am upset that you were treated the way you were, and it makes me sad. If I would have been the person coming around to check on you, I would have spoken to you, and even genuinely wanted to be your friend. I wouldn't have pressured you to come to church at all.

Maybe that woman just thought that once it was established that you wouldn't be coming to church... that if she tried to keep in contact, you might take it as she was being pushy and not taking the hint. I think, that is where communication needs to come in. You needed to communicate, that although you are not interested in attending the LDS church, you would still love to get to know people, and make friends, regardless of religious differences. The woman who came around to you... should have communicated, that she accepted that you weren't interested in attending church, but also stated that she would like to get to kwno you any way, and that she would in no way pressure you to begin attending.

That is the way I would have handled things. Many of my friends when I lived in Utah, were non active LDS members, and to me, it mattered not. I befriend people because of who they are, not how they choose to worship.