Having a hard time in Utah (Salt Lake City, Ogden: apartment, crime, how much)

[PINAYPIE]

Originally Posted by alexei27

I think they scared her off...lol

Probably!

[stycotl]

Originally Posted by eggalegga

This happens in my neighborhood too. There were two wives who (for the most part) would organize and plan our neighborhood Fourth of July parties. One is LDS one is Catholic. I am friends with the Catholic lady. Anyway, we would purposely invite all neighbors and their kids to the party and ask that they bring a food item to share. We had games planned for kids, music, etc. Then after it got dark, out came the alcohol. Those who didn't want to drink, didn't have to. Those who were opposed to it, either left or kept their comments to themselves. We all tried to respect each other's differences rather than judge one another. Sure, those of us drinking were very careful to keep the alcohol away from children. I don't have kids, nor am I LDS. But I had fun getting to know all of my neighbors and their kids. We had a neighbor come over from one cul-de-sac to the east and say, "Looks like I moved onto the wrong street." We invited him to join us.

I'd say make the effort to get to know your neighbors. If you feel as though you don't have anything in common, keep trying. Best of luck to you.

that's cool that you've been successful there. i'm seeing the opposite. we've tried to make it a point to be friendly to all of our neighbors, no matter their religious habits.

my immediate neighbors on both sides are nonmormons and inactive mormons. they have both been pretty reclusive and suspicious of us, especially (it seems like anyway) since they learned that we are mormons. for the first few weeks, they were chatty and approachable and now they all just wave and go inside when we come home.

a few days before the party, we invited them to our housewarming party a few weeks ago, and they both made excuses about having other things to do and other places to go. both of their families ended up being home during the party, and one of the guys was even outside of his house. so i walked over there and said that if he wanted, he could just stop by long enough to get a burger. the invitation was met by a quick refusal and then him disappearing inside.

none of the other nonlds or nonpracticing lds families in the area showed up either. only the mormon neighbors came, and boy did they come (we were expecting 20-30 people; we had upwards of 60).

now, i try to be pretty openminded about social situations because of the propensity for miscommunication and accidental offense, and i give people the benefit of the doubt probably more often than is healthy, but this still smells of a religious issue. i am certainly open to the idea that it is something else, but whatever it is, it seems that only my nonlds and nonpracticing lds neighbors caught it.

i think that some people automatically assume that if mormons are not openly friendly, then they must be jerks, and if they are openly friendly, they must be trying to baptize or activate.

sometimes we're just being friendly...

aaron out.

[frankierocks]

You get what you are looking for, right? I love it here. There are those that love me and many that hate me. I don't worry about the negative people. There are a lot of resources for finding people with similar interests as you. Don't worry about those that blow you off. They will live and die like the rest and aren't worth your time.

[lolagranola]

I live in a very friendly neighborhood. Lots of block parties, barbecues, ect. Most weekends are spent (loudly) socializing with our neighbors behind us. There is a guy who lives across from the both of us, and we invite him to everything. Five years and he's always said "thanks, maybe I will", and never has. The funny thing is, I am SURE he thinks that we are Mormon and that is why he doesn't come (he was raised in this neighborhood as a mormon, but non-active as an adult).

Anyway, to the OP... I am sorry you are struggling here. I got lucky I guess. I hope that it gets better for you. I once moved to a state I hated, and the people there were incredibly rude and hostile to me. And it is a place lots of people relocate to and has a reputation for "friendliness".

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

Originally Posted by stycotl

..................

none of the other nonlds or nonpracticing lds families in the area showed up either. only the mormon neighbors came, and boy did they come (we were expecting 20-30 people; we had upwards of 60).

.....................
i think that some people automatically assume that if mormons are not openly friendly, then they must be jerks, and if they are openly friendly, they must be trying to baptize or activate.

sometimes we're just being friendly...

aaron out.

If you lived near me, I would have come! We have a block party every June and almost everyone, LDs or non, shows up. It's just a pleasant BBQ with us bringing side dishes. Sorry your neighbors are so weird!

[Ambi]

Count me in as another non-mormon transplant to Utah (Cache Valley). I moved here from Maryland 3 years ago, and many of the concerns of the OP and others resonate very strongly with me. I married a native southern Utahan, so you'd think I would have acquired some "built-in" friends, but I still have yet to develop any significant friendships aside from my husband, and I consider myself to be friendly and outgoing. Boy do I miss DC sometimes!

The OP didn't mention whether or not she had kids, but in my case I'm childless-by-choice, and it's definitely exacerbated my isolation. Consequently, I don't have much in common with many women my age in the Cache Valley area, as they have several kids, or are in the process of starting families; kids and church are the primary focus of their lives, understandably so. Most women I meet here aren't overtly judgmental about my childlessness, but you can tell they're wondering what my purpose in life is. This is probably more of an issue in the smaller towns in Utah, and not so much in the urban areas.

I absolutely empathize with the OP, and I wish I had some good advice. I'll be relocating to the Ogden area soon for work, and I think friends may be easier to come by there. If anyone lives in the Ogden valley, I'd love to meet some fellow transplants (or Utah natives, I'm not picky!)

[osugirl2]

Originally Posted by Ambi

Count me in as another non-mormon transplant to Utah (Cache Valley). I moved here from Maryland 3 years ago, and many of the concerns of the OP and others resonate very strongly with me. I married a native southern Utahan, so you'd think I would have acquired some "built-in" friends, but I still have yet to develop any significant friendships aside from my husband, and I consider myself to be friendly and outgoing. Boy do I miss DC sometimes!

The OP didn't mention whether or not she had kids, but in my case I'm childless-by-choice, and it's definitely exacerbated my isolation. Consequently, I don't have much in common with many women my age in the Cache Valley area, as they have several kids, or are in the process of starting families; kids and church are the primary focus of their lives, understandably so. Most women I meet here aren't overtly judgmental about my childlessness, but you can tell they're wondering what my purpose in life is. This is probably more of an issue in the smaller towns in Utah, and not so much in the urban areas.

I absolutely empathize with the OP, and I wish I had some good advice. I'll be relocating to the Ogden area soon for work, and I think friends may be easier to come by there. If anyone lives in the Ogden valley, I'd love to meet some fellow transplants (or Utah natives, I'm not picky!)

Ambi,I'll be in the Ogden area in September. I'm originally from Oklahoma, and I'll be wanting to meet new people! I am naturally a people person, so moving to a place where I hardly know anyone is a little daunting...

[eggalegga]

Originally Posted by Ambi

...but in my case I'm childless-by-choice, and it's definitely exacerbated my isolation. Consequently, I don't have much in common with many women my age in the Cache Valley area, as they have several kids, or are in the process of starting families; kids and church are the primary focus of their lives, understandably so. Most women I meet here aren't overtly judgmental about my childlessness, but you can tell they're wondering what my purpose in life is. This is probably more of an issue in the smaller towns in Utah, and not so much in the urban areas.

I am both single and childless by choice, and I live in the SL valley. I too experience other women wondering what my life purpose is. As most of my friends grew up, they got married, had kids, blah, blah, blah. That wasn't my desired path. It's hard to find single women my age with no kids who have similar interests....I really don't have that many interests I guess, and I don't make that much of an effort to meet new people. I tend to focus on my house and my dog. When I'm not working on a project, I'll spend time with friends and family, but not as much time as I used to. I am a Utah native and non active Catholic. Didn't really fit in with most of the kids around me growing up. It wasn't a hardship, just a challenge at times. As an adult, I find that I am not as concerned with whether or not a new acquaintance will accept me as their friend or not. I'm happy with my life choices and if they don't accept me, I will spend time with someone who does.

I hope things work out for you in Ogden.

[LAFrench]

Very well put, eggalegga.
Are you a UT born native?

Originally Posted by eggalegga

I am both single and childless by choice, and I live in the SL valley. I too experience other women wondering what my life purpose is. As most of my friends grew up, they got married, had kids, blah, blah, blah. That wasn't my desired path. It's hard to find single women my age with no kids who have similar interests....I really don't have that many interests I guess, and I don't make that much of an effort to meet new people. I tend to focus on my house and my dog. When I'm not working on a project, I'll spend time with friends and family, but not as much time as I used to. I am a Utah native and non active Catholic. Didn't really fit in with most of the kids around me growing up. It wasn't a hardship, just a challenge at times. As an adult, I find that I am not as concerned with whether or not a new acquaintance will accept me as their friend or not. I'm happy with my life choices and if they don't accept me, I will spend time with someone who does.

I hope things work out for you in Ogden.

[eggalegga]

Originally Posted by LAFrench

Very well put, eggalegga.
Are you a UT born native?

Yes. Lived in Utah county for 21 years then moved to the SL valley to attend the U of U.