Having a hard time in Utah (Saratoga Springs, Portage: living in, club, move to)

[jen fu]

My god, you are my people. I moved to Ogden about a year and a half ago from San Francisco. I love this state--it's ridiculously gorgeous, and totally affordable on my freelance salary, and everyone is wonderfully nice and kind and lovely and I still have no friends outside of my boyfriend's circle. As a poster upthread mentioned, I've tried a lot of things--volunteering, classes, meetups, but nothing seems to stick, really. And since I work at home, I don't have work friends to socialize with. I feel pretty isolated and pretty lonely--I want to build my own life here, be independent and happy and it's been really hard.

(Ambi, Osugirl, if you guys are still looking to meet people, I am in Ogden!)

[osugirl2]

Originally Posted by jen fu

My god, you are my people. I moved to Ogden about a year and a half ago from San Francisco. I love this state--it's ridiculously gorgeous, and totally affordable on my freelance salary, and everyone is wonderfully nice and kind and lovely and I still have no friends outside of my boyfriend's circle. As a poster upthread mentioned, I've tried a lot of things--volunteering, classes, meetups, but nothing seems to stick, really. And since I work at home, I don't have work friends to socialize with. I feel pretty isolated and pretty lonely--I want to build my own life here, be independent and happy and it's been really hard.

(Ambi, Osugirl, if you guys are still looking to meet people, I am in Ogden!)

Jen, I will be there in September! Maybe we can meet up!

[carpetbagger]

Meeting people and making friends here is a bit harder than other places I've been. I moved here from Tennessee about a year ago, and outside of work have only made a handful of acquaintances. Everyone is pretty friendly, but it does take a little more time and effort here, I think. There are probably dozens of reasons for this, but you're going to have to be patient and persistent. Cast a wide net, as they say.

[stycotl]

Originally Posted by carpetbagger

Meeting people and making friends here is a bit harder than other places I've been. I moved here from Tennessee about a year ago, and outside of work have only made a handful of acquaintances. Everyone is pretty friendly, but it does take a little more time and effort here, I think. There are probably dozens of reasons for this, but you're going to have to be patient and persistent. Cast a wide net, as they say.

nice way of looking at it. i'm a utah native, and a mormon, and i still have to cast a wide net and go out of my way to make friends most of the time. the neighborhood that i am currently in is the exception, but usually it takes quite a while to feel like i'm fitting in.

[11thHour]

I hope the best for all of you. Things are different here, no doubt. But overall, I've found it easier to make friends here than in other cities I've lived in: Houston and Newark were a nightmare for my wife and I; we just couldn't make friends for the life of us and we were so lonely it was part of the reason we came back to Utah. Oh, I'm non-mormon. So it can be challenging for us here also, but I've made most of my friends through work.

[kaytidid]

I haven't had trouble living here, but I am a keep to myself person more than an outgoing person anyway. If people seem standoffish, chances are I don't notice because I am very shy and that way myself at first. It takes me a while to warm up..sometimes a long while. I guess I would just view people like that as being just like me.

However, I think when people first consider moving to Utah, they don't realize that they aren't just moving to a different state. It really isn't like moving to some other states. Utah living, in general, is a way of life here. It is very hard to explain unless you experience it first hand. Some people can embrace that nuance and some people can't. That is okay. I lived in Alaska. I was a child at the time, so I really had to live where my parents were. As an adult, I know that Alaska living isn't for me. Again, that is okay. There are 50 glorious states in which we are blessed to be able to live in. If it turns out that Utah wasn't the one for you, there is no shame in finding some place else. However, (and this is not directed to anyone in particular. I am just thinking out loud) for those of us that love living in Utah, we would kindly thank you not to trash the state we love and call home. Some place that not everyone will like living in will also be your home someday.

[Kermusique]

The last thing I want anyone to think is that I'm trashing this state and if I came off that way I'm sorry. I think this state is beautiful and have enjoyed doing many activities here with my boyfriend. For someone who has lived in one place all thier lives and never was without family and friends it is a tough adjustment. I love my job, I like my house (wish I had a bigger yard but oh well), and love how beautiful everything is. I like that you can go out and listen to some music or catch a sporting event or go hiking in the mountains. Kinda the same way as things were where I'm from in upstate NY. Unfortunately, just having a hard time meeting people. Guess I'm just not coming in contact with the right people for me. I'm sure they are out there somewhere. My boyfriend has made a couple of friends at work. The one couple we hung out with a few times ended up moving to California for a job transfer they were from back east. The people I work with are nice we have lunch together on occassion, maybe I'm just expecting too much too soon. Plus, even though I like it here in Utah, I am quite homesick. So, anyway just wanted to make sure everyone knew I wasn't trying to trash anyone or this state.

[jaceepc]

I grew up here in Utah, but have lived 2 years in Dallas and 7 years in Colorado Springs - then back to Utah. I love it here and it will always be home to me. I have to say that I'm a lot like Kaytidid - I'm ok being by myself day in and day out (I work at home).

I made one friend in Dallas who now lives in Wyoming. We are still friends and keep in touch. My husband and I met one couple in Colo. Springs that we really enjoyed. We still keep in touch. I have one friend here in Utah. We have been friends for about 30 years - close neighbors back then with kids the same ages. I found it easy to make friends with the parents of my kids friend back then.

But now that we're older, I work at home, and we don't go to church or belong to any clubs, it is more difficult to make friends. The neighbors? We've lived here in Herriman just over a year and most of our neighbors are young with young families. But, it doesn't bother me not to be chummy with them. I could go out and get to know them. Maybe take some cookies to the gal down the street whom I have met and like. But I just don't really want to. I just think that people are busy in their lives and involved in whatever. If your paths cross and you hit it off, you have friends. If not, then more effort is needed on your part to make it happen - if that's what you want.

[kaytidid]

Originally Posted by Kermusique

The last thing I want anyone to think is that I'm trashing this state and if I came off that way I'm sorry. I think this state is beautiful and have enjoyed doing many activities here with my boyfriend. For someone who has lived in one place all thier lives and never was without family and friends it is a tough adjustment. I love my job, I like my house (wish I had a bigger yard but oh well), and love how beautiful everything is. I like that you can go out and listen to some music or catch a sporting event or go hiking in the mountains. Kinda the same way as things were where I'm from in upstate NY. Unfortunately, just having a hard time meeting people. Guess I'm just not coming in contact with the right people for me. I'm sure they are out there somewhere. My boyfriend has made a couple of friends at work. The one couple we hung out with a few times ended up moving to California for a job transfer they were from back east. The people I work with are nice we have lunch together on occassion, maybe I'm just expecting too much too soon. Plus, even though I like it here in Utah, I am quite homesick. So, anyway just wanted to make sure everyone knew I wasn't trying to trash anyone or this state.

Oh no worries. I certainly didn't think you were. I was just thinking out loud for some people that do nothing but come on here JUST to trash Utah and those that live here. It is okay to be homesick! I certainly was for quite a few years after I moved here. By the way, I have extended family that lives in Upstate New York.

[osugirl2]

Originally Posted by kaytidid

I haven't had trouble living here, but I am a keep to myself person more than an outgoing person anyway. If people seem standoffish, chances are I don't notice because I am very shy and that way myself at first. It takes me a while to warm up..sometimes a long while. I guess I would just view people like that as being just like me.

However, I think when people first consider moving to Utah, they don't realize that they aren't just moving to a different state. It really isn't like moving to some other states. Utah living, in general, is a way of life here. It is very hard to explain unless you experience it first hand. Some people can embrace that nuance and some people can't. That is okay. I lived in Alaska. I was a child at the time, so I really had to live where my parents were. As an adult, I know that Alaska living isn't for me. Again, that is okay. There are 50 glorious states in which we are blessed to be able to live in. If it turns out that Utah wasn't the one for you, there is no shame in finding some place else. However, (and this is not directed to anyone in particular. I am just thinking out loud) for those of us that love living in Utah, we would kindly thank you not to trash the state we love and call home. Some place that not everyone will like living in will also be your home someday.

I don't think you're standofish at all Kayti.....at least online