Hopefully this will help answer questions about moving here from across country (Millcreek: condos, daycare)

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by VARIETEES

Thanks Tim Tim Tim. As you and I have briefly discussed, I am also a Floridian who is strongly considering moving to Utah and this is good info. I am curious though as to dcisive's post about depression. Why is this an issue in Utah?

Okay, I'm not claiming my answer to be in any way clinical or verifiable, but you are probably aware that practicing Mormons don't drink alcohol. I do know, as I'm sure you do, that a lot of people go out and have a few drinks when they are depressed. Once they've had a few, things don't look so bad. Mormons don't have that "luxury," so their depression is probably more evident.

[frogandtoad]

Originally Posted by Katzpur

Okay, I'm not claiming my answer to be in any way clinical or verifiable, but you are probably aware that practicing Mormons don't drink alcohol. I do know, as I'm sure you do, that a lot of people go out and have a few drinks when they are depressed. Once they've had a few, things don't look so bad. Mormons don't have that "luxury," so their depression is probably more evident.

That would not be my guess!! I don't think alcohol fixes depression!

My thought is this. In UT, women are supposed to get married very young and have lots of babies. It's expected. If you are a man you are supposed to get married young and have lots of babies and support those babies and wife.

So basically you've got a 25 year old woman with a bunch of little kids, not spread out much in age, with a great deal of pressure to be a great mom, look great, and be happy about it. You've got a 25 year old man who is working his tail off to support this growing brood. I don't know. Sounds like a recipe for depression to me. And a glass of wine wouldn't fix it!

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by frogandtoad

That would not be my guess!! I don't think alcohol fixes depression!

My thought is this. In UT, women are supposed to get married very young and have lots of babies. It's expected. If you are a man you are supposed to get married young and have lots of babies and support those babies and wife.

So basically you've got a 25 year old woman with a bunch of little kids, not spread out much in age, with a great deal of pressure to be a great mom, look great, and be happy about it. You've got a 25 year old man who is working his tail off to support this growing brood. I don't know. Sounds like a recipe for depression to me. And a glass of wine wouldn't fix it!

Well, you've made some good points. I actually think the truth lies somewhere in between what I said and what you said. When it comes to measuring depression, I'm guessing that one of the factors most commonly used is the ratio of antidepressant drugs prescribed to the population base. I believe that's how Utah got its unfavorable status as a "depressed" state. LDS women do often feel a lot of pressure to measure up to a standard they feel it's impossible to meet. They don't believe in drinking but they have to find some way to deal with the depression, so they get their doctor to prescribe Prozac or Zoloft or Effexor. Whether the glass of wine fixes depression or not, a lot of people do attempt to drown their sorrow in booze. (And no, I'm not implying that to be a drinker is the same thing as to be a drunk, so please, no accusations along that line.) I'm just suggesting that for Mormons, anti-depressants may be the only socially acceptable way to deal with depression, hence their higher use.

[osugirl2]

Originally Posted by Rickd203

You're correct about Connecticut. That's why, before I got word of my brother's situation, I was all set to move to Oklahoma. I lived there for four years and only left because of a military transfer (you go where they need you). I came back to Connecticut because I was gone for a long time and I didn't realize how insane the cost of living had become. What I want the most now is 10-20 acres of land for a little farm like my grandfather had. I can't afford that in Connecticut and it doesn't look like I will be able to afford it in Utah either. I also have very nice memories of the women in Oklahoma. Maybe this time I can find a woman to marry.

My brother's situation is a bit complicated but I wouldn't ask him to move back to Connecticut. Besides me, the rest of the family refuses to even talk to him. They don't want to talk to me either but I got used to it long ago.

Yes we Oklahoma women are one of a kind.......lol. I know where you can get one of those little farms. I can't really advertise real estate stuff on here so PM me if you want additional info, but I was born and raised here, and my upcoming move to Utah (Air Force Civilian, you go where they send ya too) will be my first time to live away from home, so I can help you with just about anything that deals with living here

[osugirl2]

Originally Posted by Katzpur

Okay, I'm not claiming my answer to be in any way clinical or verifiable, but you are probably aware that practicing Mormons don't drink alcohol. I do know, as I'm sure you do, that a lot of people go out and have a few drinks when they are depressed. Once they've had a few, things don't look so bad. Mormons don't have that "luxury," so their depression is probably more evident.

I have to admit that after a stressful day or week there's nothing I'd rather do than go out to the bar with my friends and knock a few back, so I can see how one who couldn't go do that would need an alternative.

[Tim Tim Tim]

I agree with you guys generally about the depression thing. I honestly think its completely stupid for these KIDS to be popping out kids like they are. A person in there low 20's has no business having more than 2 kids in my opinion. Kids shouldnt come untill there is a real career and your lives have been set together. I also think the rushing into marrage thing is STUPID. I guess its a belief that your not supposed to live together untill your married. Im sorry but that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. How will you ever know if you can tolerate to be with this person forever before you live together? That is the hardest part of a relationship if you ask me. I could date hundreds of girls if I didnt live with them, the issues come when there freaking slobs or lazy slackers not willing to pull there weight or whatever the case may be. Id be depressed if I was stuck in that position


It sounds dumb to say now after how much I preach that I love this place but I think me and the wife might move back to florida in a few months. We recently found out shes pregnant and it would kill me to not have the kid grow up with my side of the family so we might suck it up and go live back there and just make utah our yearly vacation place. Were still thinking about it though, nothing for sure

[osugirl2]

Originally Posted by Tim Tim Tim

I agree with you guys generally about the depression thing. I honestly think its completely stupid for these KIDS to be popping out kids like they are. A person in there low 20's has no business having more than 2 kids in my opinion. Kids shouldnt come untill there is a real career and your lives have been set together. I also think the rushing into marrage thing is STUPID. I guess its a belief that your not supposed to live together untill your married. Im sorry but that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. How will you ever know if you can tolerate to be with this person forever before you live together? That is the hardest part of a relationship if you ask me. I could date hundreds of girls if I didnt live with them, the issues come when there freaking slobs or lazy slackers not willing to pull there weight or whatever the case may be. Id be depressed if I was stuck in that position


It sounds dumb to say now after how much I preach that I love this place but I think me and the wife might move back to florida in a few months. We recently found out shes pregnant and it would kill me to not have the kid grow up with my side of the family so we might suck it up and go live back there and just make utah our yearly vacation place. Were still thinking about it though, nothing for sure

I hope you don't leave Tim! It sounds like things have been going so well for you in Utah, and it's a great place to raise a family, but I can understand it being tough to be without your family and wanting them to be a part of your child's life. That will be the toughest part of my move to Utah. I know my family is going to really miss our little boy

[Jen38]

Hey Tim,
Think twice about that move. I agree, having your family around is great but living in a place you don't like is worse. We didn't live near family for years and then my husband was transferred to PA, near ALL of our family. We loved living in PA and being near our family - at times. My parents lived an hour away and my hubby's lived 3 hours away. You will go back to spending every holiday together, making sure you have some meals together, feeling guilty because you are not spending ENOUGH time with the family even though your life is very busy too and so on. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and it was very hard to make the move after enjoying them for 4 years BUT they do come visit often and we have a great time when they are here because there is so much to do. You have to love where you live. If you want your family to know your child you just need to make that your priority if you stay here. Instead of going on vacations to other places, you go back to Florida (which is a pretty nice vacation ). We fly back to PA 3 times per year and my parents fly here 5 ( I pay for two because it's cheaper to fly the 2 of them than my whole family). Round trip tickets in January are super cheap! From PHILI to SLC was $168 round trip on Delta. We flew my parents, my 95 yr old grams, and my sister's family out here as their Christmas present. We will probably do it every year if the flights are that cheap. There was so much to do...ski, sleigh ride in Heber, tubing at Gorgoza and for them just seeing so much snow was cool. It was a great vacation for them and some quality time as a family.
Our Christmas day again is in pj's just playing with the kid's new toy all day long. When I lived in PA, I had to clean up and cook because it was expected that we all see each other and have a big meal. If we stayed in PA near our families I would have been happy but moving away again did not make my relationship with them or their's with my children any weaker. As a matter of fact when my parents and my husband's parents see our children they completely dote on them because they don't get to see them all of the time like they do their other grandchildren. Also, I can parent the way I feel is appropriate instead of getting any disapproving looks .
Do what you think is right but just think about whether you will both be happy there. Did you like your job? Are her parents there as well? How and where do you want to raise your kids? Is the lifestyle in Florida what you want for your family? It's great to be near family but your life is your own and you have to do what is right for you. With that said, it will be extremely difficult the first year of a new baby without your family's help so save up now for flights! I had my kids in MN and then in Florida. The first one was so hard because we didn't have family or a lot of friends but the second one was pretty easy and I was actually excited when everyone left and I could have some peace. When you live near your family you have that "open door" policy.
There are pros and cons, just think it through and decide what you want for your future and your family's future.
Good Luck! It's a big decision!

[Tim Tim Tim]

yeah I can agree with the whole annoyances of having family around. its a tough decision and honestly the raising kids here has its ups and downs just like anywhere else. The primary religion kids are taught here isnt what I believe in, I feel kids are too shelterd when there young and not exposed to the real world so when they get older they rebel and become ten times worse. but it is safer overall. im not sure, its hard because I really love it here. we miss our friends there too. havent been able to really find others that enjoy what we enjoy like our friends down there (have been friends with them since 8th grade).

[LAFrench]

I wish you the best of luck with your decision.
Raising kids away from home isn't that bad.
All of our family is back in Louisiana. Some come down to visit. We like to go back and visit on a holiday (once a year). We love our family dearly, but we chose to move. My wife would kinda like to go back, but I refuse.
I will not give up until I am either in the Denver or Salt Lake City area.
I love it out west and that's where I am most happy.
We use some of our vacation time to go back and visit family.
To each his own.
I hope ya'll choose what YA'LL want.

Good luck and let me know if you are heading back out here to the Tampa area.

Ron

Originally Posted by Tim Tim Tim

yeah I can agree with the whole annoyances of having family around. its a tough decision and honestly the raising kids here has its ups and downs just like anywhere else. The primary religion kids are taught here isnt what I believe in, I feel kids are too shelterd when there young and not exposed to the real world so when they get older they rebel and become ten times worse. but it is safer overall. im not sure, its hard because I really love it here. we miss our friends there too. havent been able to really find others that enjoy what we enjoy like our friends down there (have been friends with them since 8th grade).