Is anyone else sick of Christmas already? (health insurance, loan)

[wehotex]

Since I'm basically unemployed right now and supporting myself, I am dreading the upcoming Holiday season. In addition as a single man, I feel like it is a huge net loss for me because I am expected to buy gifts for all of my sisters' kids. These are kids that have everything already and I mean everything. I love them tremendously and unconditionally but always feel that the Holidays is just an excuse to empty my wallet and not get much in return. If I spend $200 on them, I can expect a $50-60 gift from one sister for my birthday & Christmas and an even cheaper gift from my other sister. One of the sisters read me the riot act when I protested about not buying her a gift since I already buy gifts for each of her kids' birthdays and x-mas. She said that I shouldn't feel that way, joy in giving, blah blah blah.

Every year, I just wish that I could go on a winter vacation far away from the family and not have to go through all of this commercialism of X-mas.

Thoughts?

[Dopo]

If I don't have money, everybody is getting a Christmas card,
and if I really don't have money... they are going to be homemade.

I have no problem at all with getting a homemade Christmas card.

[Dreadlockd]

Don't overextend yourself if you can't financially do it...hell even if you don't feel like it. It's your holiday too, and you have every right to celebrate or not celebrate it. Make them something, set aside special time/activity to do with each one of your nieces/nephews, start a new family tradition and organize the kids to make something for someone else (homeless, elderly, soldiers, disadvantaged children), there are other redeeming alternatives to useless plastic toys. Besides their parents will be buying them stuff, let them handle the guilt and financial burden. You'll have plenty of time to prepare for that when/if you have some of your own, lol.

You shouldn't be made to feel guilty, but the saturation of consumerism associated with Christmas makes it almost impossible.

I hope you are able to find a viable solution to your problem that works out for everyone. Look out for self, it's not being selfish if you simply can not give. It's apparent you do "care" or else you wouldn't have wasted the time giving it a second thought.

Good luck.

buynothingchristmas.org

If you do some Googling you should be able to find some alternatives than the typical gift giving.

[sapphire]

Originally Posted by wehotex

Since I'm basically unemployed right now and supporting myself, I am dreading the upcoming Holiday season. In addition as a single man, I feel like it is a huge net loss for me because I am expected to buy gifts for all of my sisters' kids. These are kids that have everything already and I mean everything. I love them tremendously and unconditionally but always feel that the Holidays is just an excuse to empty my wallet and not get much in return. If I spend $200 on them, I can expect a $50-60 gift from one sister for my birthday & Christmas and an even cheaper gift from my other sister. One of the sisters read me the riot act when I protested about not buying her a gift since I already buy gifts for each of her kids' birthdays and x-mas. She said that I shouldn't feel that way, joy in giving, blah blah blah.

Every year, I just wish that I could go on a winter vacation far away from the family and not have to go through all of this commercialism of X-mas.

Thoughts?

Sorry, but your sisters suck. How disgusting and rude and selfish of them....and the worst part is they are teaching their kids to be that way as well. If I were you I would not spend a penny on them--you probably can't spare much anyway with no job. What a sad story.

We're not giving much this year, to anyone. We have really tightened our belts in anticipation of a huge increase in our health insurance premiums, and just in general due to the lousy economy. My son has plenty, and most of the family is in the same boat as us.....just cutting back overall and enjoying each other rather than "new things".

I wish you well. I hate family drama, which probably explains why I live 1500 miles in either direction from mine.

[wehotex]

Originally Posted by Dopo

If I don't have money, everybody is getting a Christmas card,
and if I really don't have money... they are going to be homemade.

I have no problem at all with getting a homemade Christmas card.

that works with an adult, but with a kid? Not that the kids really notice what I give them when compared to what the grandparents and parents give them. I actually have a very significant savings that the whole family knows about, but I never touch it. The kids don't really care so much, but my sisters always notice if I don't buy gifts for the kiddos. My mom has always told me that x-mas is for the kids and that I should at least give to them.

[hadleyzoo]

I completely agree with sapphire.

Yes it will work with a kid. We've had years where members of our family couldn't get some materialistic thing for our kids. Instead they spent time with our family on a holiday that should be about family and being THANKFUL for what one does have. And those memories are the best memories our family has.

And if the kids don't even notice what you get then why bother getting them anything at all? And if your sisters want to rub something in, let them. Who cares what you have in savings. It's none of their business unless you've made it their business.

Christmas isn't about the kids and that they get something (as your mom has said).

[wehotex]

Originally Posted by hadleyzoo

I completely agree with sapphire.

Yes it will work with a kid. We've had years where members of our family couldn't get some materialistic thing for our kids. Instead they spent time with our family on a holiday that should be about family and being THANKFUL for what one does have. And those memories are the best memories our family has.

And if the kids don't even notice what you get then why bother getting them anything at all? And if your sisters want to rub something in, let them. Who cares what you have in savings. It's none of their business unless you've made it their business.

Christmas isn't about the kids and that they get something (as your mom has said).

Thank you hadleyzoo. I don't think that the kids would even notice the lack of a gift from me. The only reason why my sisters know about my savings is because I financed a loan to my parents from my savings for their home and I paid cash for one of their vehicles several years ago.

[Mom2Feebs]

Holy crap, yes, it will work on children! Kids need to understand how the real world works--people sometimes don't have jobs, and therefore, must tighten the pursestrings.

I'd figure out what you can afford for each of them, do what you can in that budget (sometimes a really neat jar of homemade peppermint bark or oreo truffles will send kids right over the edge! I've seen it, they go nuts for it!), and if the kids are old enough, have them volunteer their time with you serving a meal at a shelter, or feeding animals at the SPCA (or similar) and then give your selfish sisters a talking-to on what the joy of giving REALLY is. And the reward will be there for you as well, and you will find quickly that you are not as sick of Christmas as you might think.

Good luck, and I hope that you end up finding a job, but also that you have a truly Merry Christmas.

[SabresFanInSA]

Originally Posted by wehotex

In addition as a single man, I feel like it is a huge net loss for me because I am expected to buy gifts for all of my sisters' kids. If I spend $200 on them, I can expect a $50-60 gift from one sister for my birthday & Christmas and an even cheaper gift from my other sister.

You had me until this part right here.

First let me say I live for Christmas. The day after Christmas I am already counting down to the next one coming up. My goal every year is to completely blow away the people I give gifts to. If I get tears, shoot then I know I have scored. My wife says I need a 12 step program, but like I said I start thinking about it early and put money away all year long specifically for Christmas and that is my budget.

At the same time it's not a business deal. You can't expect to spend X dollars on gifts and get the same amount in return. My only expectation is that the gift is something that relates to me. One of the best things I ever got for Christmas was a hockey skate key chain that I know didnt cost more than about $12.

I have been in the position where I dreaded Christmas, but thankfully I am not now because I do love it so much. It is truly the only day of the year I look forward to.

[catriona]

I'm with sapphire, too. The nerve of your sisters not just expecting, but reading you the riot act over you providing presents! So what if you have a nice nest egg saved and have helped your parents out in the past! That's YOUR business, not theirs! ugh! They are really teaching their kids about the meaning of Christmas, aren't they? Since your siblings are not willing to teach their children not to expect presents from the unemployed, perhaps you need to step in.

Set a budget you can afford and divide it between the kids. i.e. give $10 i-Tunes cards to those that would use them and $10 Walmart cards to the rest.

Mom2Feebs had the best idea - in lieu of presents, tell them that you are donating time (pick your charity) in honor of them, then invite them to go along with you.

Kids will understand when it is explained to them at their level of understanding. My daughter had a friend that asked for two cans of food in lieu of presents for her 8th birthday. The food was all donated to the food bank.

Kids need to be reminded that there are others out there that are not as fortunate as they are. The $$ you may have spent on a toy for them vs a warm blanket or coat for someone who can't afford it. Or the same $$ donated to an animal shelter so a puppy or kitty can have food. I think it would be very poignant since you are out of work and are still willing to give to others. It would be a wonderful lesson for your nieces and nephews. Might make your sisters mad, but sounds like it wouldn't matter anyway.

And SabresFanInSA is right, Christmas presents aren't business deals. Presents are given with the intent of pleasing the receiver, not with the intent to match the price of the gift they give back. On the other hand, I do understand where you're coming from. I guess when your sisters know you had to have spent $200+ on their kids, you'd think they might try and spend something close to it, especially since they are the ones that put demands on you in the first place.