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Old 03-02-2011, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Pipe Creek, TX
2,793 posts, read 6,018,270 times
Reputation: 1603

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HillCountryHotRodMan was driving back from a quick trip to the Katy mall when he spotted that strange looking prince thumbing for a ride (yet again!). He picked up the lowly prince and they stopped at Bucee's for a quick bite and a Beaver t-shirt. As they ate ridiculously overpriced deli sandwiches and pickles, HCHRM listened to the prince tell the story of the events that unfurled the night before.

"I can't believe you got kidnapped by a critter!" exclaimed HCHRM.

"I don't care, for if I meet the love of my life, verily, I say... all of this will have been worth it. Oh! My dear little princess, how will I ever find you?" cried the prince.

HCHRM replied "Hey, yer royalty, you need to save the drama fer yer mama. I will take you back to San Antonio and drop you off wherever you want. In the meantime, let's get back on the road while we still have time for you to get yer knickers unbunched. Times a'wastin' and gas ain't gettin' any cheaper while you whine...Sheesh!"

They drove back to town at lightning-fast speed, missing the speed trap in Schertz. HCHRM pulled up to the Best Buy near North Star Mall and pointed to the huge Cowboy boots outside of the mall.

"You might want to get you a pair of them snazzy boots... after all, this is San Anton' and you look out of place in that robe and crown. Now, I gotta get back to the ranch, the missus hates it when I'm late for brisket night. Take care, oh Lowly One. May Godspeed in your quest for your royal bosom."

With that, HCHRM peeled 1/4th of his tread and disappeared from view, leaving a trail of smoke and burning tire in the rearview.

The prince looked around, shrugged his shoulders and walked into the Best Buy....
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Old 03-02-2011, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Texas
475 posts, read 1,090,314 times
Reputation: 230
and started to admire all the new 3D flat screens. He chatted with a blue shirt and determined the pros and cons of LCD vs Plasma. Looking at the gorgeous sets, he almost forgot about the princess who he pined for. Snapping out of it, he started to head toward the door and got ambushed by the local Time Warner salesperson. he drew out his sword and slayed the cablemeister in one shot, er swipe.

He then continued out into the parking lot where lo and behold, he saw....
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Old 03-03-2011, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Universal City, Texas
3,109 posts, read 9,806,079 times
Reputation: 1825
a Best Buy Security Officer. Oh lowly one, we don't allow slayings in our store...
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Old 03-03-2011, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Pipe Creek, TX
2,793 posts, read 6,018,270 times
Reputation: 1603
... so the lowly prince gave his story to the security officer, bribed him with some palace riches and apologized for being cranky because the people who are writing his story keep trying to end it by kidnapping and/or trying to have him arrested because they don't know how to participate!

Anyways, the prince left the Best Buy parking lot, ran across 410 and got some expensive boots, wrangler jeans and a straw hat so he would fit in. Then he hooked up with Ernesto Ancira and got himself a nice big pick'm'up truck so he wouldn't have to hitchhike again. As he left the dealership, he waved goodbye to Ernesto, Robin, and those unphotogenic kids in all the commercials and drove off in search of his lovely princess. He felt a rumble in his belly, and realized he was hungry. So he drove to....
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Old 03-03-2011, 07:41 PM
 
Location: That's pretty obvious
1,035 posts, read 2,330,862 times
Reputation: 951
"just inside loop 410" (add finger twirl here) and stopped by TGI Fridays where lo' and behold Jennifer Aniston was working. Apparently that acting career just didn't pan out. It was, sad to say, lust at first sight and he found himself forgetting the princess. Forgetting his mission. Forgetting to avoid those calamari apps which he was highly allergic to!! His tongue began to swell, a rash exploded across his body. Jennifer dumped him faster than Bradalina. Death by calamari was sure to come, and then -- in the pale blue light from the flourescent beer sign hanging above the bar -- he saw....
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Old 03-04-2011, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Pipe Creek, TX
2,793 posts, read 6,018,270 times
Reputation: 1603
.... a hospital! He got in his truck and hauled behind to the emergency room, where the nurses quickly gave him an injection of epinephrine to stop the anaphylactic reaction from the food allergy.

"Phew!", thought the poor lonely prince, "that was a close one!". After sitting for 8 hours in the ER waiting for the doctor to discharge him, he paid his bill and jumped back in his truck. He was dead tired and worried about his prospects of finding that sexy princess. He had to get sleep, so he scouted for a hotel room, and finally decided to stay at....
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Old 03-04-2011, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,339 posts, read 2,592,094 times
Reputation: 2370
The Doubletree Hotel on Loop 410 and McCullough. They have free cookies. Plus, he gets to rack up some Hilton Honors Points for the longevity of his stay in a hacienda like environment(He wishes that there would be a Mariachi Band performing at the pool). With this in mind he can get some rest and begin to focus on his search for his preciosa princesa in N.O.P.E. in the 78220 zip code. But he will need some help because he can not seem to find out what N.O.P.E. stands for so he goes to....

Last edited by AmberAzeneth; 03-04-2011 at 09:40 PM..
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Old 03-05-2011, 12:02 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in San Antonio
417 posts, read 979,835 times
Reputation: 269
the library because they have computers to use for free so he can google..what N.O.P.E. is

The Prince..is driving around the 410 loop...**does the finger twirly thing again** when all at once he sees.....
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Old 03-05-2011, 12:36 AM
 
15,913 posts, read 20,127,260 times
Reputation: 7693
Once upon a time I took Culebra Rd that was one lane in each direction from Culebra/Grissom to 410 in 5 minutes...

Once upon a time I used to spend $10.00 a month on my Internet connection.

Once upon a time SAPD only drove marked cars.
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Old 03-05-2011, 06:24 PM
 
3,309 posts, read 5,739,726 times
Reputation: 5042
HIS PRINCESS! He is so excited he runs into a telephone pole and demolishes his new pick-um-up-truck and ends up back in the hospital with amnesia, and then...
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