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Old 09-25-2012, 12:10 PM
 
1,366 posts, read 4,485,815 times
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I have a 6 yr old son, 10.5 year old daughter and a 16 year old daughter... So believe me, I can relate to wanting your kids to fit in and not be picked on... But honestly, I really don't dwell on it very much anymore... I was the first one to go out and buy my kids the name brand clothes and shoes and purses and then my 16 year old taught me a very valuable lesson when she was just 13...

We moved and our daughter was going to go to a new school... Her old middle school wore uniforms, her new middle school had kids from the Dominion and other areas of money... I was a nervous wreck as she was not going to have any friends at all at the new school... On the first day I pulled out a Hollister shirt and an Abercrombie shirt and I said "OK, Katy, which one?" and she said "Neither" and I said "What do you mean, pick a shirt" and she said "I will, but not one of those" so I said "Why not?" and she said "Mom, I want the kids at this school to like me for ME, not for the type of clothes I wear, if they don't accept me for the person I am, then I don't need to have them as friends"... She then proceeded to choose a shirt that had no name branding on it all and didn't wear any name brands at all until the 2nd week of school... Needless to say I stood there amazed at the daughter we had raised... No bullying happened, no cliques shunned her... And now at 16, while she is not the most popular girl on campus, she definately has a large number of good friends, 1 true best friend and an amazing boyfriend...

I think wanting your kids to fit in is natural, no parent wants their kids to be made fun of or shunned, but it's also equally important to teach them individuality and how to stand up for themselves and be proud of the things THEY like, not what their friends like...

Good Luck on your shopping... Honestly, in 1st grade, I agree with many others who say that you can't really go wrong with pink, purple, sparkle, bling...
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Old 09-25-2012, 04:35 PM
 
296 posts, read 1,249,418 times
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I think it's so sweet that you want her to fit in and have trendy stuff! I know personally when I was in school, I got the most God-awful clothes from relatives (including my mom) and was teased literally on a daily basis for wearing frilly things with bows and buttons, while the other girls had velor t-shirts and jeans (apparently the trend at my school in the 90's haha). My favorite gifts were things like jewellery from Claires, sparkle nail polish sets (if she's allowed to wear that), and prepaid gift cards, so that when I went shopping with my mom I could pick out my own clothes with her approval. When I was 10, I literally demanded that I was not accepting any birthday gifts that weren't cash or giftcards! LOL which I know sounds so entitled, but it was so I wouldn't have to wear the terrible things my aunts would buy me. Regardless though, even though I got made fun of alot and wore some pretty hideous stuff in elementary school, I still ended up being pretty popular in highschool, and even now in college, so I wouldn't worry too much You also don't want to teach her to depend on fitting in with the crowd, because that can lead to peer pressure over way bigger issues down the road.. You want her to fit in but still have individuality and the ability to be out spoken and stand up for herself/what she likes. Little girls usually flock to the girls who have a strong sense of self, those are usually the popular kids, so as long as she has that and can rock her Hello Kitty, she will be accepted. I don't think you can go wrong with stuff that's sparkly or bling, or anything from 'trendy' kid's stores like Justice (if there isn't one near you, I think they have a website). My friend nannies two little girls here in California and they love to shop there, apparently it's one of the cool stores. I don't think kid's trends are too different in SA.
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