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Old 04-05-2014, 10:38 AM
 
7 posts, read 9,054 times
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My husband and I have decided that we want to move to San Antonio from Detroit, but my biggest fear is leaving all of our help behind. We have a set of 3 year old twins and a 6 week old infant. I get help from my husband's mother a lot with the kids which gives me quality time to myself as well as with my husband. I am just worried about leaving that behind and also moving across country with them. My husband and I are ready but how do we know if our entire family is ready for this move. I want to provide a better life for my kids and I know that we can do it there. So my question: Is there someone that has moved away with small kids where there is no family and how did you survive? What was you biggest issue and how did you overcome it?
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Old 04-05-2014, 12:54 PM
Status: "Amused by Blue" (set 12 days ago)
 
14,627 posts, read 31,221,919 times
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I would stay near the family support system you have. Sorry, that's my advice which is worth about two cents. Best of luck with your decision.
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Old 04-05-2014, 01:07 PM
 
146 posts, read 326,043 times
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Military moved my husband and I, along with our 3 year old, 2 year old and 5 week old to Japan. My husband then worked a gazillion hours for the first 6 months we got there. The biggest problem was my sanity. There just weren't too many breaks. Every so often we'd get a babysitter for the oldest two and take the baby with us. Three young ones can be overwhelming for a babysitter and expensive. Not much you can do about it. You just do it till every thing calms down when the kids get older and make the best of it.

Maybe you should do a trial run where no family helps you out for a couple of weeks before you commit to the move.
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Old 04-05-2014, 01:36 PM
 
161 posts, read 137,031 times
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I would say don't move and stay where you are at. It seems the most logical choice or do what someone else said and try it out first to see if you can handle it.
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Old 04-05-2014, 03:20 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
5,142 posts, read 11,477,213 times
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I don't have children or experience in your situation but how about not yet? Maybe wait until the kids are a bit older, then make the move? Best to you.
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Old 04-05-2014, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Mid South Central TX
3,183 posts, read 7,438,611 times
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We did not have any family here until our kids were 6 and 3. I also was in graduate school as well, as was my husband. Yes, it's hard. No it's not impossible.

Look into enrolling the 3 year olds into a preschool, one that is maybe mornings, 2-3 days per week. Or a Mother's Day Out. That gives you time to run errands, etc. If you are a churchgoer, investigate their nursery. Often, they are staffed by adults or high schoolers that are willing to babysit. If you go to a gym or the Y, they often have childcare as well. You may have to adjust your errands to when your husband is home. I did a lot of grocery and Target runs after 8, when the kids were in bed. Investigate mom groups, like playgroups and MOPS.
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Old 04-05-2014, 06:51 PM
 
Location: McLean, VA
790 posts, read 1,611,219 times
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Wait until your kids are a bit older. You didn't mention if your husband already has a job in SA or is you'd be embarking on a job search, etc. I don't have kids, but have several siblings and family members who do. One of them moved away (with three kids) to the East Coast, but they recently returned to Texas. I think they missed the bennies of being close to family (and the financial comforts, too). They are very happy to be back with family.
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Old 04-05-2014, 07:25 PM
 
87 posts, read 186,999 times
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You all act like people have never lived without their family nearby. I have 2 young girls and we have NEVER lived near family. And there are thousands (if not millions) that do it everyday-ask anyone in the military. Is it hard, yes. Is it doable...totally. As another poster said, look into preschool and Mother's Day out programs. They will save your sanity. I do grocery shopping on Sundays and hubby stays with the girls or I take one with me and the other stays home. You and your spouse have to work as a team and he will need to realize that he has to help as much as he can.

Yes, having family close by is helpful, but not 100% necessary.
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Old 04-05-2014, 08:14 PM
 
2,721 posts, read 3,430,271 times
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Default Agreed,Raising kids solo,

I did it too. Except without a partner even, wife left us, myself and three boys aged 5,6,and 12. No
big deal. I never needed to get away from them to keep my sanity. Many men might have felt trapped with
the total custody of his three children. I never felt more free.
The results of this experiment in parenthood were highly successful. This investment of time put into
these children produced a great return. I really would not be so glum about what is a great time in your life.
I suppose, looking back now , I figured that was the very best quality that time I could be having , was with my three sons. As you wrote, bettering their lives in any way possible.

By the way, originally from San Antonio,immediate family was here, I lived in the Suburbs of Detroit for all of this. San Antone is a great choice to relocate to. A great place for a new beginning, I wouln't even look back at all, particularly with regret.
So here it is, an opinion from a person who has been a resident of both cities you have written about and from a similar, former prespective.
Quote:
Originally Posted by corrie1013 View Post
You all act like people have never lived without their family nearby. I have 2 young girls and we have NEVER lived near family. And there are thousands (if not millions) that do it everyday-ask anyone in the military. Is it hard, yes. Is it doable...totally. As another poster said, look into preschool and Mother's Day out programs. They will save your sanity. I do grocery shopping on Sundays and hubby stays with the girls or I take one with me and the other stays home. You and your spouse have to work as a team and he will need to realize that he has to help as much as he can.

Yes, having family close by is helpful, but not 100% necessary.
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Old 04-05-2014, 08:49 PM
 
Location: Austin
1,663 posts, read 3,087,464 times
Reputation: 1062
Quote:

You all act like people have never lived without their family nearby.
I agree! After all San Antonio is circle your wagons city, what with how everyone here is so glued-and-stuck to their own families here. I was like huckster. Alone with three children here and all of my family way up in Chicago. You can find sitters through local colleges and universities and really make use of that time.
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