Daily Joke Thread (showing, black, images)

[RodLu]

[RodLu]

[ggeorgie]

[RodLu]

[mkfarnam]

How good is your memory?

Oct, 1959.

[RodLu]

> Take time to read this one! I loved it, but I don't think our guys would enjoy it much! ? !




>
> A VERY SHORT STORY
> Man driving down road.
> Woman driving up same road.
> They pass each other.
> Woman yells out window, "PIG!"
> Man yells out window, "B*TCH!"
> Man rounds next curve.
> Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.
>
>
>
>
>
> Thought For the Day:
> If men would just listen ....

[RodLu]

> Things You Can Only Say On
> Thanksgiving.................


>
> 1. Talk about a huge breast!
> 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
> 3. It's Cool Whip time!
> 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
> 5. That's one terrific spread!
> 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
> 7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
> 8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
> 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
> 10. Don't play with your meat.
> 11. Just spread the legs open stuff it in.
> 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people
> at once?
> 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
> 14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
> 15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
> 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
> 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
> 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen

[mkfarnam]

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'

The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens

[HillCountryHotRodMan]

LOL!

That was excellent, mk'!

[mkfarnam]

"How to Tell the Gender of a Fly"


A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh! Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.




Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone".