Daily Joke Thread (Tool, Point: interior, roaches, pictures)

[Paka]

Originally Posted by rd2007

for those people that send you annoying e-mails...

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.


This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming stories.

Tried to rep you TOO for this one...I laughed until I cried the first time I read this some time back...still a CLASSIC!!!!

[Ray Stout]

A young teacher moves to Boston to teach Kindergarten, On the first day of school she introduces herself and tells the class that she is Celtics fan. She asks how many of them are Celtics fans and all but one raises their hand, Approaching the little girl that didnt raise her hand she asks who she is a fan of.
"I'm a San Antonio Spurs Fan" she says happily.
" Wow, a Spurs fan in Boston. How did you become a Spurs fan?"
" Well my dad is a Spurs fan, my mom is a Spurs fan, and I'm a Spurs fan too" was he reply.
" What if your Dad was a drug dealer, and you mom was a prostitute? What kind of a fan would you be then?
Without battin an eye the little girl replied,
.
.
.
.
"I'd be a Laker Fan!!!!!!!!!"


Go Spurs GO

[PopsGuysRule]

Originally Posted by Ray Stout

A young teacher moves to Boston to teach Kindergarten, On the first day of school she introduces herself and tells the class that she is Celtics fan. She asks how many of them are Celtics fans and all but one raises their hand, Approaching the little girl that didnt raise her hand she asks who she is a fan of.
"I'm a San Antonio Spurs Fan" she says happily.
" Wow, a Spurs fan in Boston. How did you become a Spurs fan?"
" Well my dad is a Spurs fan, my mom is a Spurs fan, and I'm a Spurs fan too" was he reply.
" What if your Dad was a drug dealer, and you mom was a prostitute? What kind of a fan would you be then?
Without battin an eye the little girl replied,
.
.
.
.
"I'd be a Laker Fan!!!!!!!!!"


Go Spurs GO

or.... a fan of a basketball player that, for no good reason at all, ,
writes humongously large checks to young women he happens to run into in hotel rooms...... ????

[gwrober]

BREAKING NEWS

CNN reports that gas stations will start showing PORN movies on the
screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else get screwed at
the same time you do!!

[TXtrkgrl]

I got 10 out of 11

How Smart Are You?

[jules07]

Me, too! (I missed the Moses one! duh! )

[TXtrkgrl]

Originally Posted by jules07

Me, too! (I missed the Moses one! duh! )

hahaha, me too!! Great minds think alike.

[Paka]

redneck calamari on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

[gwrober]

Originally Posted by TXtrkgrl

I got 10 out of 11

How Smart Are You?

Dangit, 8/11. I be smart!

Originally Posted by Paka

redneck calamari on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Reminds me of this one:

[debey]