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Old 06-01-2008, 03:22 AM
Location: in my mind
2,745 posts, read 13,090,552 times
Reputation: 1605


No, not MINE!! I have a boy, and he's a smart one... says he never wants kids. lol.

It's my son's friend's sister who is 17 and pregnant. She's been going for prenatal care and trying to take good care of herself but is having a hard time all around.. the baby's father, her mother who is in grief and shock about it all and not dealing well, and now her OB. She was telling me how her OB/GYN has made a lot of negative remarks about her being a teen, insinuated she does drugs because "that's how the teen moms are around here", told her before that "I can test you you know, so don't lie to me"... she (Doc) just seems to be making a lot of judgments and assumptions based on the fact that this girl fits a stereotype.

From what she's told me it just sounds like, in general, the Doc is condescending and not treating her in a dignified manner. Supposedly when the girl asked about the 3-D sonograms (as in where they could be obtained and if they were costly) she blew her off and has an attitude of "why are you happy about this pregnancy??". When the girl asked the doc to please tell her what was going to take place in the initial exam BEFORE actually doing it she blew her off and "dove right in", so to speak.

Now I am certainly not rooting FOR teen pregnancy of course but I think everyone deserves basic respect, especially when they haven't done anything cause a loss of respect (she's not doing drugs, and is getting prenatal care, and making plans for the future) and if a Doc is going to work with pregnant teens then they need to be ready for the reality of that. It does no one any good to be judging and rude. This girl is very much trying to just carry on and do her best and be responsible.. I don't think she deserves this kind of BS, and I remember it well from when *I* was a single pregnant teen many years ago. I was being seen as an Air Force dependent, saw a diff. doc every visit out at Wilford Hall, and had all kinds of assumptions made, threats to call CPS on me (I had admitted to drug use that occurred PRIOR to pregnancy).. just lots of rudeness and stress. When I asked a nurse in one of my 1st appointments exactly how far along I was, the response was "Why? Are you trying to figure out who the father is?" It was awful.

So she is going to this doc because it's close to the house. She wants to switch but her mom says if she has a doc farther away she won't go with her to her appointments on the bus (they have no car) and she doesn't want to go alone. I have known this family for years, and I told her if she wanted to switch docs that *I* would take her to her appointments and go with her. Her mom would not mind.

What I am hoping y'all can help with is finding a doctor who accepts Medicaid and who is used to working with teens. Someone who will be kind and supportive. My own OB is absolutely heaven sent (Dr. Kuhl @ Lone Star OB/Gyn) but I have no idea if he is still practicing and she really really prefers a female doc. She lives near SAC (Alta Vista area). If you have any recommendations please let me know. I've talked with her about the Certified Nurse Midwife possibility too and she is open to that. I would love to find a doc that will talk to her about natural childbirth and such but I'm not going to push that of course.. she's not my kid. Mostly I just want to help her have a decent experience. I remember spending my pregnancy stressed and depressed and it was unnecessary. I mean, what's done is done and it's time to move forward and make it as positive as possible, I say. I still believe some of my son's early problems were related to high stress levels in pregnancy! (he had major, non-stop colic and I had MAJOR post partum depression). Why make this any harder or get off to a rough start?
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Old 06-01-2008, 04:06 AM
Location: Washington, DC & San Antonio, TX
790 posts, read 3,615,857 times
Reputation: 516
For a general practitioner in that part of town, I highly recommend Janna Wilder. However, I don't personally know any OB/GYNs in that part of town. RateMDs.com (a patient/doctor rating service) lists the following docs with the top ratings listed... pls note that these ratings are by patients, so there is no guarantee of anything other than patient perception. The site also lets you check on whether complaints have been filed with the state or any medical oversight boards.
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Old 06-01-2008, 07:03 AM
Location: San Antonio
1,532 posts, read 3,334,187 times
Reputation: 644
I don't have any advice, I'm an adoptive mom, never have been pg. I just wanted to say...I'm sorry for your friend. I can only imagine how scared and confused she must feel right now especially at 17 and with her situation! That is awful to be treated that way by a physician. I'm sure there are MANY more professional docs that can see her and treat her with dignity and respect. MAYBE you could go to the state OB/GYN board and report how unprofessional this doctor is and let them know how horrified you were at the docs behavior. I'm just wondering if they might do something about it. Maybe even reprimand the doc. Best of luck to your friend, and that she finds what she is looking for.
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Old 06-01-2008, 09:53 AM
Location: Austin
4,103 posts, read 6,055,120 times
Reputation: 6708
I don't know any docs and it's unfortunate that this girl got herself in this situation but what's done is done. I would absolutely report this doctor! It is very unprofessional of her to be like that! I think it's great this girl has you to turn to when it seems she has nobody at the moment. Hopefully her mom will get over her grief soon, although, being a mom of a girl I totally understand where she's coming from. How does this girl do in school? Is there a chance she can take duel college credits? Please encourage her to go onto college. She's going to need that extra education to make a decent life for her and her child.
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Old 06-01-2008, 09:58 AM
3,468 posts, read 7,734,351 times
Reputation: 1604
fierce ~ I'm so sorry for the crummy treatment this young woman is receiving from her doctor. That truly does NOTHING to help. ugh.

I agree with you that Dr. Kuhl is great (I saw him along with my midwife during my pregnancy for my first homebirth. He was great and even encouraging about the whole homebirth aspect.) But I had heard that he is no longer seeing OB patients. *However* ~ the Lone Star Midwives that used to practice in his office have (or at least had?) their own place now. My daughter went to them for her first pregnancy and they were great. She was a very young mom and they treated her with upmost respect (although she was married, so that "stereotype" didn't apply to her). Anyway, that was 4 years ago, so don't know who is still there, but it's worth a try.

And kudos to you for stepping up to the plate to help this young woman. You will always be an angel to her and you're having a positive impact on her future!
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Old 06-01-2008, 10:45 AM
Location: Helotes, TX
469 posts, read 2,167,130 times
Reputation: 115
That's just terrible treatment. I was 27 and in so cal when I was pregnant and since I wasn't married (and didn't plan on getting married) every time I went into my ob's office each person I talked to that worked there kept asking if I was going to get an abortion. Front office, 1st nurse, 2nd nurse, doctor, every time I went in for an appointment. I only went for 2 appointments there before I just blew them off and switched. I haven't had much better luck here (although I am not pregnant) with OB's, the staff, the care, etc, has all sucked. I wish her the best of luck, is she planning on keeping the baby?
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Old 06-01-2008, 10:56 AM
Location: Texas
8,062 posts, read 16,182,498 times
Reputation: 3701
Have her call or go to Planned Parenthood (and make it clear that she is not wanting an abortion). Although that's what they are most known for, Planned Parenthood offers a variety of services and they are used to dealing with teens and high-risk situations. If they don't do prenatal care, I'm sure they would know which doctors would treat their clients with respect and take Medicaid.

Also, if she makes contact with Planned Parenthood, they would emphasize a proper birth control regimen after she delivers to make sure this doesn't happen again! That's important because there are a ton of myths out there that young girls believe that tell them they can't get pregnant for a time after having a baby. I had students in high school who believed the myths and got pregnant AGAIN soon after the first, sigh.
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Old 06-01-2008, 11:59 AM
4,268 posts, read 8,355,101 times
Reputation: 1785
Dr Kuhl is indeed still practicing - he just performed my surgery for an ectopic a few months ago and during that time was delivering quite a few babies! he had just delived twins a day before and had been on call all that week for deliveries. I agree he is WONDERFUL! I'm also a homebirth mom whose last OB was not supportive of that - other homebirth moms rec'd Dr Kuhl and I couldn't be happier. He was incredibly supportive of everything, and helped me out in a desperate situation (I didn't have a regular OB, new I likely had an ectopic pg and needed one NOW - and my husband was out of the country at the same time, making it a big challenge). He's not young, and he is male but very open minded. I'm not a young mom - quite the opposite at almost 39, but I imagine he'd be fine with teens.

He's still part of LoneStar - I haven't met any of the midwives in the practice (different floor, but all one practice, apparently), but have had positive reviews from others. My midwife is a CPM and does only homebirths and birth centers - I'd highly recommend her as well, if she wants to go that route (a birth center is a good compromise).

My previous OB was Dr Mary Chang, whom I know accepts medicaid and has a lot of teen moms - she practices in the Methodist Plaza downtown on McCullough). I liked her, but she wasn't so supportive of the CPM/homebirth so I stopped seeing her. I do think she's good though. I can't vouch for her demeanor with teens, although she does see a lot of them.
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Old 06-01-2008, 06:17 PM
1,276 posts, read 3,433,607 times
Reputation: 700
I am so sorry about the crummy treatment this young woman is getting. Regardless of the circumstances, situations, whatever...this doc has no right to treat her that way.

And kudos to you for stepping in and helping her out.
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Old 06-01-2008, 10:00 PM
81 posts, read 237,516 times
Reputation: 38
Just what she needs, someone else making her feel even worse about a stressful situation.

As far as how you were treated --> When I asked a nurse in one of my 1st appointments exactly how far along I was, the response was "Why? Are you trying to figure out who the father is?"

I would have reported that nurse. She had no business saying that to you.
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