Culture shock? (Dallas, Austin, Fresno: live, Walmart, distance)

[motown mary]

Also a native of the Detroit area and feeling the culture shock big time. What I notice most is that many native Texans I've met feel the need to ask, upon first meeting, "so, don't you think people are friendlier down here?" This is interesting to me, especially because I have never felt more unwelcome or misunderstood in my life, never more like an outsider. I miss eye contact too. I agree with much of what 5fingaz says, but I haven't had as much time here to substantiate that.

[Chaka]

[quote=satx56;4758667]

Originally Posted by Chaka

Yeah, I'd forgotten about that . My grandparents old house had two front doors at a 90 degree angle. One door into the living room and one into the front bedroom. Odd now that you think about it.

We have a wrap around porch with a door at the very front leading into the main hallway, and another around the side leading into the bedroom. At least it's a little more logical than the 2 right next to each other at 90 degree angles!

We also have a ton of windows, 8ft x 3ft - I do presume all of that is for airflow, I just don't get the multiple doors rather than windows. The explanantion of one being a 'family' entrance and the other a formal entrance sounds reasonable I guess....

Many houses in our 'hood and KW are like that, with at least 2 doors. The hard part is setting out furniture. Too many doors! Our bedroom has 5 doors - the exterior door to the porch, one to the bathroom, one for the closet (which is about 2ft wide..) , one that leads into the second bedroom, and one to the hallway. Not to mention 2 large windows. Placing furniture is a pain! Oh, and the bigger doors all have transom windows, which I love except when you're trying to block out the light in the bedroom so your little one can sleep.

I do like having all the doors and windows open though

[Buffyfan]

Originally Posted by motown mary

Also a native of the Detroit area and feeling the culture shock big time. What I notice most is that many native Texans I've met feel the need to ask, upon first meeting, "so, don't you think people are friendlier down here?" This is interesting to me, especially because I have never felt more unwelcome or misunderstood in my life, never more like an outsider. I miss eye contact too. I agree with much of what 5fingaz says, but I haven't had as much time here to substantiate that.

I'm sorry to hear that. How long have you been here? If people are asking you if they are friendly...they are probably trying to begin a conversation!

[Buffyfan]

And, Motown Mary, I read a previous post of yours from another thread (a man relocating from Detroit), it sounds like you had already made up your mind that you wouldn't like it here before the move.

[Chaka]

Originally Posted by Buffyfan

And, Motown Mary, I read a previous post of yours from another thread (a man relocating from Detroit), it sounds like you had already made up your mind that you wouldn't like it here before the move.

Having lived overseas often, I've often come across this feeling amongst reluctant ex-pats, usually those who were dragged along by spouses.

Somewhere else is always 'home.' It really doesn't matter the new location, how great it is, what it has to offer, it's not HOME, therefore the person will never be happy there.

I learned long ago that "home" is where I live now: Be that Thailand, So Cal, Kenya, rural Indiana, New England, San Antonio. It takes a little while for the new place to feel like home, and there's always culture shock, and there are always things I don't like about the new place, but I make it my home - for 6 months or 5 years or forever.

I think the only way you can adapt to a new place is to embrace it fully. Learn everything you can about it (I have a stack of books about the history and culture of each place I've lived), seek out what makes it unique, figure out what you can enjoy and learn to tolerate the things you don't like. Embrace the culture shock. Make the most of it. Make it your home.

It's the only way one can be happy in the new place. As long as somewhere else is always home, nowhere else will ever feel like home.

[Buffyfan]

I was thinking she simply misses home...just like I do when away. And that's okay.

[Chaka]

Originally Posted by Buffyfan

I was thinking she simply misses home...just like I do when away. And that's okay.

Well, there's being a bit homesick (happens to me often enough, although where I'm homesick for varies), and there's never allowing yourself to be at home anywhere else.

Embracing a new place doesn't mean forsaking the old.

[Buffyfan]

That's true, Chaka. I'm hoping she'll adjust and begin enjoying herself...but it seems she's dead set on hating it here.

[SanAntoQT]

Originally Posted by motown mary

Also a native of the Detroit area and feeling the culture shock big time. What I notice most is that many native Texans I've met feel the need to ask, upon first meeting, "so, don't you think people are friendlier down here?" This is interesting to me, especially because I have never felt more unwelcome or misunderstood in my life, never more like an outsider. I miss eye contact too. I agree with much of what 5fingaz says, but I haven't had as much time here to substantiate that.

Maybe a change of attitude on your part is in order. If you're feeling unwelcomed and misunderstood, it may be because you spend your time focusing on what you're missing, rather than what SA DOES have to offer. My gosh, even the smallest, podunk town has something positive! Personally, I go with the "bloom where you're planted" attitude. I would wholeheartedly suggest that you try that!

ETA: Rather than trying to "substantiate" what 5fingaz has said, why not try to do the opposite?

[sapphire]

If I were planted in San Diego, I'd bloom, too! What a beautiful city!

But SA has been home to me for 23 years, and I've never once been asked if I thought people here were friendlier--except on City-Data! I've also made eye contact with thousands of people--although there is a cultural thing regarding eye contact with babies, I believe. It's never stopped me.