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Old 07-01-2009, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,848 posts, read 4,203,486 times
Reputation: 1203

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Hi mom, (edit - I have seen you on the Dallas board and know you are a reputable poster )

Nobody on this board is questioning your heart, your ability to help or your yearning for this family.

You however have questioned the people on this board.

You should know that people on this board have taken in stray animals even though we have an SPCA, shelter and Defense League.

People have helped a disabled man with a move even though there are couriers to do so.

People have helped brides plan weddings on a budget even though there are planners, books and websites at their disposal.

People on this board have gone out of their way to help others research colleges, neighborhoods, jobs, restaurants etc.

People on this board have gone out of their way to help, have bypassed social services and other options to help people first hand and on their own.

The people on this board may be questioning the story because we find it hard to believe that a family who presumably had neighbors, co-workers, friends and family would rather sleep in a park than walk into a gas station and ask for a phone book so that they can at the very least look up the number of the Red Cross. We also question that they do not have credit or cash on hand, could not make it to a branch of their bank or an atm. We also find it hard to fathom that the SAPD or SAFD would not otherwise equip the family with a few choices if not locate a temporary shelter on their behalf.

We do not know their names, what they look like, the park they are at, their needs etc.

My point is - these SA C-Ders WILL come to the help and rescue and have come to the rescue of many types of people and animals alike.

In this instance though, we are both uninformed, helpless and skeptical. So therefore we can only rely on our local organizations and trust that the donations we have made in the past will assist this family if they choose to seek out help.

Last edited by cr1039; 07-01-2009 at 05:47 PM.. Reason: edit
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Old 07-01-2009, 06:18 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
8,400 posts, read 20,173,551 times
Reputation: 4435
Quote:
Originally Posted by HisLilSecret View Post
I think more of us should be willing to help when we see a need without resorting to becoming contortionists while patting our own backs at every given moment.
Who wasn't willing to help? I think most people on here would do so given the opportunity, but no information was ever given which raises concerns in most logical peoples' minds.

Give us some info, and I am sure CD-SA'ers will rise to the occasion; but don't expect the rest of us to be gullible buffoons...
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Old 07-01-2009, 06:24 PM
 
2,039 posts, read 4,907,612 times
Reputation: 1204
I also googled and did a search and found absolutely nothing. Ask your friend and let us know. I can not imagine your friend posted this on Facebook yet your are not able to find info, just my two cents ~ no disrespect meant.

Last edited by LovingSAT; 07-01-2009 at 06:25 PM.. Reason: Typo
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Old 07-01-2009, 06:29 PM
 
452 posts, read 908,169 times
Reputation: 356
Majormadmax - I'm not questioning peoples' willingness to help. I'm questioning the need of some who do help to announce to the world the good deeds they've done. Not once, but every chance they get. When rising to the occasion, there's no need to put yourself on a pedestal.

Besides, if you re-read the OP's initial post, you will see that she stated that she did not have any info other than what was provided to her. Badgering the poor woman wasn't going to elicit the necessary info, so why press her?
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Old 07-01-2009, 06:54 PM
 
4,796 posts, read 13,744,602 times
Reputation: 2710
Quote:
Originally Posted by majormadmax View Post
You want help but you aren't willing to tell us any information about the people in question. And you seriously wonder why people are skeptical? You have this information thirdhand and provided no details, so maybe you think we should all run out and do something but you give us no way to do so!

If you were as serious as you claim, DM someone you trust on here with the info. No one asked you to post any personal details, but when you come telling a story such as this, and ask for help but provide us no means to do anything to assist, it is no wonder people are suspicious.

By the way, how do you know that your friend isn't the one being scammed? You both sound like the naturally trusting types--and that is not a bad thing but sometimes people are so eager to help out the ignore the possibility that the recipients may not be as needy as they say.

One last point, I take great offense at your accusations that the great people of this forum are unwilling to help someone in their time of need. It is quite the contrary, and if in this particular case no one comes to the rescue it is not our fault but yours for not providing any details on how we could do so. There is no comparison to the disabled Iraqi veteran whose wife needed a hand, I DM'd her offering to help and she and I exchanged emails. There have been numerous other examples of CD-SA'ers helping each other and others out, it happens on a regular basis. So you really owe us all an apology as if anyone failed here, it was you...

Eh hemmmm! Maj...I think you've done your share of calling her out on this thread. OK...YOU did a good thing. YOU are skeptical...you've said that THREE times. She has a big heart, and she is looking to find out if this family exisits and check out this story. What is the BIG freaking deal with you???

I remember dming you personally about your helping that young couple. I lauded your efforts, but I was concerned about giving too much personal information about them that they may NOT have wanted. I also shared with you a personal tragedy that you showed NOT ONE OUNCE of concern about.
So you're apparently picky about who you help. I was not sharing any information with you EXPECTING your help, but that big heart you supposedly wear on your sleeve was not apparent in your reply to me personally. I found that rather sad.

I don't expect you to like what I'm saying, but enough is enough. Let her go on being duped or naive or maybe possibly help someone and just step back. What do you care? You don't have to respond if you find it suspect.
You're a bigger man than to get ruffled over someone that doesn't know you.

Just FYI....everyone who thinks it's BS that people cannot get assistance, have apparently not walked in those shoes. Assistance is out there, but it is highly regulated. You would be surprised at how easily it is for a well educated, successful person could end up homeless in a SNAP! It happens....and it's shocking. I personally know of someone who lost everything due to a medical emergency. That person did not have a home to go to when leaving the hospital. They had no insurance and when asked about human health services, they were NOT indigent ENOUGH to qualify for aid. Only when they lost their car, emptied their bank account and found themselves facing the curb, did they finally qualify. Not everyone has family, a church or a support system in place to turn to for help. Just don't judge others who seemingly have fallen through the cracks.

This couple may have been taken in by a neighbor or a friend for a few nights, and didn't think they would need assistance when the fire/rescue or help was supposedly lining up outside their burning home. Who has been there to know how this is done? They may have refused help thinking they may have not needed it.

I work in a place where there it is not uncommon for people to stop in asking for handouts, work or enough money for one nights sleep. When I direct them to the church on the corner or other services, they said they have been there, cited names and gave me the lowdown on how to qualify for even meals. Its really sad that even some of the places that help HAVE to protect those they are helping. That means paperwork, waiting, red tape and a lot of processing before that help begins. These places are obligated to make sure they are not placing a family in with a crack head, criminal or dangerously mentally ill person.

So....I have to disagree with the skeptics. IT CAN AND DOES HAPPEN. There is NOTHING wrong with asking and hoping someone can shed some light on whether this couple exists or if the story is true. I think the OP was clear that she was not asking for handouts....she was trying to find this family and see if they needed help. KUDOS for her. She will have jewels in her crown in heaven!

And BTW...again! MOMinDFW has posted in the SA forum MANY times, and has always contributed to a lot of good discussion. She is not a troll and not a trouble maker. I'm actually more impressed that she has been fired at with such venom and she has taken it on the chin and not been deterred. If this couple does exist and can be located, then I hope we can hear a happy ending!

I'm DONE. Geesh...........
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Old 07-01-2009, 07:21 PM
 
4,796 posts, read 13,744,602 times
Reputation: 2710
Quote:
Originally Posted by cr1039 View Post
The people on this board may be questioning the story because we find it hard to believe that a family who presumably had neighbors, co-workers, friends and family would rather sleep in a park than walk into a gas station and ask for a phone book so that they can at the very least look up the number of the Red Cross. We also question that they do not have credit or cash on hand, could not make it to a branch of their bank or an atm. We also find it hard to fathom that the SAPD or SAFD would not otherwise equip the family with a few choices if not locate a temporary shelter on their behalf.........
In this instance though, we are both uninformed, helpless and skeptical. So therefore we can only rely on our local organizations and trust that the donations we have made in the past will assist this family if they choose to seek out help.
CR....it's obvious that you are in the helping profession, so thank you for dedicating your life to that.
The bottom line is that the OP is asking US to help her find out where this family may be, if they exist, if WE in SA might know of a place to validate the story and find them. If she cannot find them, then there is no one to help period! For anyone on this forum to take offense when she has been told it's a "scam" of the story is suspect, was her response to some very cold hearts.

This family may have been put out of their home months ago. They possibly did not need assistance at first. They may have had money and a cell and the internet....and maybe friends to help them. But if a situation does not turn around quickly, you would be surprised at how many so called "friends" you loose when someone needs help. I have witnessed this first hand. Friends who have gotten a divorce because their spouse beat them an was an alcoholic will lose friends. People who have had to declare bankruptcy and live on meager earnings for a while can't go wine tasting with their buds anymore. It's a cold reality in life that these things happen....but life events change relationships. A friend of mine who's teenage abused drugs and was in a horrific accident which killed a close friend, has lost MANY friends....and she was not a bad parent. It really is telling when things get tough who true friends really are. It's people like the OP that sort of float in to their world and replace those that have chosen to look away. Maybe I've had the unfortunate place in life to see this played out too many times. We live in a very self motivated society and it's refreshing to see someone show up out of the blue and say "I want to help". Thank GOD for those people. We can speculate all day about how it's hard to believe certain scenarios, but it's a hard reality that apparently a LOT of people need to see first hand. Most people don't want to know about it.

If anyone has seen the movie with Will Smith (true story) forgetting the name....watch it. It's pretty close to how a person can have nothing and rise from the ashes.

We do have a fire fighters wife that frequents this forum. Maybe she can help us out with finding out records of fires in SA/Bexar County....IF this happened in this county. It's possible they could have lived in a small town in an adjacent county and came to a bigger city looking for help, work or a home.
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Old 07-01-2009, 08:22 PM
 
3,468 posts, read 7,753,491 times
Reputation: 1604
Quote:
Originally Posted by wCat View Post
And BTW...again! MOMinDFW has posted in the SA forum MANY times, and has always contributed to a lot of good discussion. She is not a troll and not a trouble maker. I'm actually more impressed that she has been fired at with such venom and she has taken it on the chin and not been deterred. If this couple does exist and can be located, then I hope we can hear a happy ending!
SOOOOOOOOO true!!!!!

I'm "late to the party" (as always), but I got the same impression! "MOM" has ALWAYS had our backs, and has given me good advice a few times (even when she didn't know it). I sure hope that we're all able to help in some way!
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Old 07-01-2009, 09:12 PM
 
452 posts, read 908,169 times
Reputation: 356
Wcat - I agree with everything you've said. Unfortunately, people who have never had the misfortune to fall into really hard times have no idea what it's like. While there are many services available, the red tape is unbelievable and can take months before help is actually received. Also, the movie you're talking about is "Pursuit of Happyness."
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Old 07-02-2009, 05:30 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
8,400 posts, read 20,173,551 times
Reputation: 4435
Wow, I am amazed at how many people criticize my comments and claim I am bragging about all the good deeds I have done; but those same people are risking an injury patting themselves on the back for having shared such hardships and having such big hearts. Give me a break, I am sure everyone on here has had their fair share of tough times and no one had a monopoly on them.

And yes, wCat, I am apparently very picky about who I help…I expect them to be real people with real problems, not some fairy tale story with no details or some allegedly homeless panhandler at the street corner. I am also smart enough to realize that there are many out there who capitalize on the naivety of those who take everything for face value. Unfortunately, I know no situation is ever as black and white as it initially appears; and when no more information is given, it is natural to think that there is something wrong with the story.

But, to get back to the thread, if this situation is so dire then why aren’t those who are so chummy with the OP getting more info on the situation and doing something about it? I hear a lot of talk about how much help these folks need, and all I see are people posting replies on this forum. If those with such big hearts are truly endowed as such, they should be doing more than typing on their computer. But once again I hear a lot of talk, but no action. Typical of those who have holier-than-thou attitudes…
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Old 07-02-2009, 05:34 AM
Status: "Amused by Blue" (set 16 days ago)
 
14,628 posts, read 31,228,591 times
Reputation: 6683
Quote:
Originally Posted by majormadmax View Post
Wow, I am amazed at how many people criticize my comments and claim I am bragging about all the good deeds I have done; but those same people are risking an injury patting themselves on the back for having shared such hardships and having such big hearts. Give me a break, I am sure everyone on here has had their fair share of tough times and no one had a monopoly on them.

And yes, wCat, I am apparently very picky about who I help…I expect them to be real people with real problems, not some fairy tale story with no details or some allegedly homeless panhandler at the street corner. I am also smart enough to realize that there are many out there who capitalize on the naivety of those who take everything for face value. Unfortunately, I know no situation is ever as black and white as it initially appears; and when no more information is given, it is natural to think that there is something wrong with the story.

But, to get back to the thread, if this situation is so dire then why aren’t those who are so chummy with the OP getting more info on the situation and doing something about it? I hear a lot of talk about how much help these folks need, and all I see are people posting replies on this forum. If those with such big hearts are truly endowed as such, they should be doing more than typing on their computer. But once again I hear a lot of talk, but no action. Typical of those who have holier-than-thou attitudes…
Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just MAYBE, things are being done in private? That some people don't WANT or NEED recognition for doing a good deed? That maybe some people don't need to call the local news outlet to let them know how AWESOME they are, because LOOK WHAT I DID! You have no idea, do you?
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