Getting over a lost friend who was also my karate teacher
Hi everyone, I enjoyed reading the posts regarding not seeing a lost love as helping to get over that person faster. I have a situation and would love feedback on this. I have been Karate training for 3 years now and during that time my Sensei and his family became very close to my family (who all train also). He also became a very close friend to me emailing me a lot and telling me that besides his mum (he's English) and his wife - I am the only one who understands him and we are "kindred spirits" because we like to talk about existential topics etc. Well, he published a book recently, I actually helped him edit it when he was first writing it. I asked him to autograph it and he autographed it with a very cold and generic message - I was really confused. Even my husband was surprised as to how impersonal it was. Well, I asked him about it and he BLEW UP and said he was "sick and tired of my bull****". When I tried to figure out why he was so upset, he quit answering my emails, and emailed my husband to tell him how much I have been emailing him - my husband knew, so no problem there. But now he has "slammed the door" on our friendship and said he will be my karate instructor only. This is a guy who spent last Halloween, New Year's Eve, his birthday, my birthday with our family and his. Also, I was a volunteer assistant student and he said I can longer be part of that but if I and my family want to continue karate he will be our instructor. Like Pirate Girl, even tho this wasn't a love affair, just a close friendship, I can't go to karate and face him. My husband says I need to suck it up and continue. I don't know how I can continue. I have about a year to black belt and I no longer trust my Sensei who because of his belief in me encouraged me to get as far as I did. It's obvious his wife has been jealous of how close we were, but things were fine until I asked him to add "from your Sensei" to his autograph. Also, I know they have been sharing this situation with other club members and I don't feel safe sparring with anyone. If I quit, my 17 year old black belt son will probably quit too and i don't want this on my conscience. I also don't want to start at a new dojo because i am older and don't want to start all over again with another style of karate. I don't know what to do now - any advice? Thank you all.
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10-04-2007, 03:49 AM
getting over a close friend who was also a teacher
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