evicting a teenager (lawyer, house, living)

[kristy1234]

My husband and I are going thru a legal separation--mostly due to his inability to instuct and discipline his children. I am a recovering cancer survior and my 18 year old stepson is no longer bearable. He does nothing but drinks and drugs all day. He comes in all hours of the night slamming doors, whistling, causing diturbances with others etc.. Is there a way to evict him. My husband and I are both legal owners of the house.

[Donn2390]

Originally Posted by kristy1234

My husband and I are going thru a legal separation--mostly due to his inability to instuct and discipline his children. I am a recovering cancer survior and my 18 year old stepson is no longer bearable. He does nothing but drinks and drugs all day. He comes in all hours of the night slamming doors, whistling, causing diturbances with others etc.. Is there a way to evict him. My husband and I are both legal owners of the house.

If your husband agrees with the eviction, it's simple. He is a legal adult. Give him a time limit to find a place to live, say 30 days should be long enough.
At the end of that time, change the locks, get a restraining order if neccessary, and tell him to stop by for a visit if he ever gets his act together.
Being nice to him is what caused your present situation. You have to be hard and not worry if he has to live on the streets. He chose the path, let him find out how hard life is. He is already ruined, don't make it any worse by giving in to him when he cries because he has no place else to go.
It's all up to you, be tough, or be stuck with a loser forever...

[off2ID]

He is 18 time to shape up or ship out...Try the military! You need to take care of you and your husband.

[luv2hike]

I agree with Donn2390- if both you and your husband agree then it should be easy. Just give him notice and when the time limit is up, if he's not gone, put his belongings outside, change the locks and let him know that it is for his own good so that he can learn to take on responsibility since living at home seems to be hindering his success.

[kristy1234]

I appreciate the advice--the problem is my husband. He wont do anything--literally. He can not confront, correct or discipline his children. We have raised them for 14 years. After I got sick with cancer, the teens behavior became worse. The stress was so unbearable--again--because my husband would not step up and do anything--that I moved out for a few months in order to stop the deterioration of my physical and mental well being. I run a pet service and the teen is intentionally creating dangerous conditions for the animals I keep as well as ourselves. I.E. Leaving the gates open, leaving the burners on on the stove and multiple other things. Even today!! The teen laughed--and said "Oh ,My bad?"I called my husband (who is busy going out every night) and told him again of the problems and all he said was "Well I'll talk to him". Its ridiculous and out of control. I know there are different types of restraining orders--but am not sure if the "rules" for them apply in my case. I worry all the time. My pets, my clients pets, If my house will be burned to the ground when I get home etc..Please help!! Thanks

[ferretkona]

My sister who is quite the addict attacked my mother.
I pushed her out the front door and called the police. They told her she had no rights in her parents home. Judy is 46.
You might want to stop by a police station and bend their ear.

[nmnita]

[i] think you need a lawyer for this one. I am not sure any of us are able to give you a correct answer...It really is a tough one if your husband won't take any action..Does he still live in the house??

Nita

[kristy1234]

Yes, he does. After the incident yeaterday--I called him--dont know why i bothered--and he said Well, Ill talk to him again. Of course he didnt get home until after 9pm and had been drinking. He is no help whatsoever. I didnt raise these kids this way. They had discipline , chores , rules etc.. Once the father was told he had to take over and correct the insurmountable stress his kids were giving his sick wife--he decided to bail. On me and them quite frankly.

[ferretkona]

Reading your first post again. If you are separating, take the house or move. I tried living with my ex, after a few weeks I asked her to move out.
I would personally play hardball with the kid. The law has zero tolerance with 18 year old drinking, call the law on him. Tell him you will be reporting his friends he drinks with to the law. If caught drunk he will lose his drivers license till 21. The idea is to create the home life too responsible for him to remain. That or he sobers up.
Time for the kid to couch surf somewhere else.


Reading again I see the father may not live in the house. Just tell the dad and kid you have called the police, that may be enough to get him out.

[kristy1234]

Saw an attorney today. We will file an emergency civil restraining order. The teen will be notified by phone by Thursday noon and will have a court date for this Friday AM. I have started taking the advice of the last reply. Anytime one of their friends is over--I ask them to leave. Over the last week== the friend ratio has dropped dramatically. Now I just have to protect my car etc.. once he has been legally kicked out. It definitely is a matter of taking authority over the negative circumstance. If the order is denied--I wont keep any pets here anymore and my husbands alimony will go up. Then the choice is back on my husband. The teen goes or he pays.
I appreciate all your advice. Lift me and my situation up in prayer. God Bless.