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Old 09-02-2009, 08:56 PM
 
Location: In exile in Richardson, TX
693 posts, read 654,947 times
Reputation: 501
Default Gays in Palm Springs: Singles vs Couples?

On my two prior visits to PS, it felt to me (as a single gay man) that every gay man I saw there was coupled. Unfortunately, it's impossible to tell from those who were out and about how many were (a) coupled and living there vs (b) coupled tourists vs (c) just friends who live there vs (d) just friends who are tourists. Does anyone on the ground there have a better feel for this than I do? I was told (semi-jokingly) that Palm Springs would be a good place for me to live as a single middle-aged gay man because I'd be seen as young! Granted, I'm not ready to date a guy just for his senior discount at Applebee's, but I'm wondering if anyone has a handle on the demographic in question.

Thanks - I could deal with living there fairly easily, I think - I live in Sacramento so I'm used to heat!
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Old 09-02-2009, 11:22 PM
 
Location: Desert Southwest
228 posts, read 761,920 times
Reputation: 357
I don't know that anyone can really answer your question. Without stopping them on the street, there is no way to say how many of the gay men you run into on the streets of Palm Springs are single, coupled, just friends, tourists, or whatever.

But based on having lived there full time for eight years, I can relate this much to you based on what I observed. If you are under the age of 50, you are considered "chicken", because the gay population tends to skew toward the elderly. It doesn't matter if you are single or partnered or the guy you meet is either, because if they find you attractive, they are going to hit on you. I had that happen in front of my boyfriend and vice versa. When confronted with how disrespectful they were being, most just laughed. These same guys also think it's okay to go into restaurants, get stupid drunk, and leer at and drool over the young, straight, Mexican bus boys. Never mind that they are embarrassing themselves and the bus boy in the process. You know the line from the song "send in the clowns...don't bother, they're here"? Yeah, that pretty much describes the atmosphere you encounter when you walk into most any gay bar in Palm Springs. And let us not forget the "wannabe daddies" who think driving around in an old Chrysler Sebring convertible and flashing a diamond tennis bracelet signifies to all the young, single gay men that a rich man is rolling by.

Some may classify what I've written as some kind of bitter rant. It really isn't. I just found the "gay scene" in Palm Springs to be sad and a bit desperate, and I don't feel the need to sugarcoat how I feel about it. So all I can say to you is "good luck" should you choose to move to Palm Springs, and I hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for.

Last edited by GoodbyeCalifornia; 09-02-2009 at 11:47 PM..
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Old 09-03-2009, 06:31 AM
 
Location: In exile in Richardson, TX
693 posts, read 654,947 times
Reputation: 501
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodbyeCalifornia View Post
I just found the "gay scene" in Palm Springs to be sad and a bit desperate, and I don't feel the need to sugarcoat how I feel about it.
"Sad and a bit desperate" describes my lack of success in the dating world, so I should fit right in!
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Old 09-04-2009, 06:57 PM
 
Location: In exile in Richardson, TX
693 posts, read 654,947 times
Reputation: 501
So nobody's going to take a whack at answering this question? Any gay men reading this board? Bueller? Bueller?
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Old 09-08-2009, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,194 posts, read 24,555,679 times
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I'm reading ... but I'm a straight female who lives in La Quinta!
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Old 09-08-2009, 02:07 PM
 
Location: In exile in Richardson, TX
693 posts, read 654,947 times
Reputation: 501
LOL... your mother's maiden name wouldn't happen to be Bueller, would it?
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Old 09-08-2009, 02:48 PM
 
5 posts, read 9,171 times
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Hi,
I am a lesbian who has lived in Palm Springs for most my life. From what you've said, I think PS would be a great place for you! Palm Springs is such an amazing place to live. So many things to do, a beautiful place to do them, and for you, lots of boys/men. I don't think the majority of men are either senior citizens or coupled. I would say the average man is probably in his late 30's-early 40's. There are many settled couples in the Cathedral City area. But I'd say less in Palm Springs. Perhaps because of the above mentioned things to do?? Haha. Let me know if I can help further.
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Old 09-08-2009, 03:02 PM
 
Location: In exile in Richardson, TX
693 posts, read 654,947 times
Reputation: 501
Thank you! That age range is perfect for me! ;-)

After living in larger metro areas all my life (Portland OR and Sacramento) I'm seriously desiring a smaller gay-friendly burg with a slightly slower lifestyle but with easy access to a large metro area should I need/want one. I do volunteer work so I my desired smaller city had to have copious G/L volunteer opportunities... and PS definitely fills that bill. Copious sunshine has to be on-hand as well (in the TMI department, I finally fled Portland because of my S.A.D. which resulted in my having to use light boxes, herbal therapies and occasional hard drugs during the fall/winter/spring months).
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Old 09-08-2009, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,194 posts, read 24,555,679 times
Reputation: 12285
Quote:
Originally Posted by rah62 View Post
LOL... your mother's maiden name wouldn't happen to be Bueller, would it?
Why ... as a matter of fact ...


I agree with Positivespirit. Palm Springs is NOT filled with old people and senior citizens. There are a lot of younger people in this valley. I love living here, as many of us do. I think you will really like it here and I certainly wish you all the best. From your posts, what you've told us about what you are looking for, I believe you really won't have a problem finding what you are looking for and/or fitting in. Welcome!!!
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
12,074 posts, read 11,013,296 times
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Well, I am over 40, and I'm not saying how much, but me and my partner did the Palm Springs thing and I am so so so ready to leave NYC and make a life out there. Yes, the gay population, I did notice is a little older than 20 something, but that works for me, at least I know I fit in... LOL

But not everyone in PS is old. I agree with Twinkle, it is totally beautiful out there. Everyperson we met anywhere was so nice and friendly, and believe me, with my Brooklyn accent they knew I wasn't from California.

So once the partner says yes, Im'a packin...............

Hey Twinkle, put the coffee on, I might stop by.............
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