need advice: Dallas vs San Diego (how much, buying a house, transfer)

[REGGieSD]

we've been trying to move back to San Diego since I joined the military and got stationed away almost 11 yrs ago. the only time we get to go back is on visits to family for a couple of weeks at a time.

I got a job with the FAA in DFW (Dallas/Ft Worth Metroplex) in 2003 & we've been living here ever since. we've grown to love the place, it's very laid back, great for raising kids, and of course like everyone already know, the cost of living is way cheaper.

well recently i got picked up for a transfer back to San Diego (FAA Facility off of kearny villa rd), and we've been praying for that job forever...which now feels liek a prayer answered. but now that i know i have the job, my wife (who's been the one wishing to move back to San Diego forever) seems to be having butterflies, jitters, or second thoughts about the move.

she looks like she's holding some sentiment about being in texas for the past 8 yrs now. we have an 8, 7, and a 2 yr old.
we've come to know a lot of people and close friends out here. she's thinking about the cost of living, taking the kids out of school and moving them to a new one, the hassle of the move, starting over in a new place, etc.
we were going to stay with my in-laws (mira mesa) for a lil bit to save up and then get a place of our own. we have our family in San Diego and all over california.

i've done a lot of thinking about this before...and to me, the cost of living part isn't really a factor...and if it was, it would only come down to the 'buying a house' part because obviously houses in San Diego are way more expensive compared to Dallas. but that's about it.

i told her it was her choice where she wanted to stay...because to me it didn't really matter. i love both places. i just figured, this was something we've been praying and asking for since we left San Diego 11 yrs ago, and finally our prayers have been answered and now she's having second thoughts. i just didn't wanna pass up the opportunity because we never know if there will be another one. she's been talking to friends out here and she's beginning to sound like she's leaning more towards staying here...i told her to talk to a few people from San Diego because she needs to hear both sides. whenever we go there on vacation it doesn't take us more than 1 hour to realize how much we miss the place and how bad we wanna move back...and then we get back to texas and reality sinks in and we start thinking "well, we get more bang for the buck out here" and all that "practicality" crap.

i guess it's just harder to make this decision since we now have 3 kids...when i was in the navy we moved from seattle, to pensacola, to lemoore, and other places with no problem...it was just pack the bags and go. now it's different i guess. i guess i just wanna make sure we're making the right decision...

[REGGieSD]

bump!

[cruitr]

So what's your question?

[Traal]

Would you get paid more in San Diego or in Dallas?

In San Diego, your utilities will be $100 less per month than in Dallas.

[10,000Lakes]

Don't hold it against her if you stay in Texas. You 2 should make this decision together so you don't blame each other in the future with "what ifs". I know you said you like both places but your post cleary points to your desire to move to San Diego. Just take in everything and then decide. One more thing, you might consider that maybe the idea of living in SD will be different then the reality of it. Best of luck.

[REGGieSD]

Originally Posted by cruitr

So what's your question?

well, sorry to be a prick but if you read the whole thing then you would know..i didn't have a specific question, i asked for an opinion/advice .

Originally Posted by 10,000Lakes

Don't hold it against her if you stay in Texas. You 2 should make this decision together so you don't blame each other in the future with "what ifs". I know you said you like both places but your post cleary points to your desire to move to San Diego. Just take in everything and then decide. One more thing, you might consider that maybe the idea of living in SD will be different then the reality of it. Best of luck.

thanks! i think that's the best advice i've heard so far

[native56]

Easy decision. The main factor should be the well being of the kids. No question that Texas kids are more healthy in their attitudes and behavior. California culture has way too much drugs and self centered behavior. I've talked to many families who left CA - their main reason was to give their kids a better life in a more family oriented place.

[REGGieSD]

that is the same thing my wife said...it's more "family oriented" out here.

also i didn't state the fact that i have to have my mom in a nursing home here and i have to get her transferred to san diego...and that we'll be staying with my in-laws for a lil bit to save up, and my wife weren't in good terms with her dad when she lived with them (that was 12 yrs ago). everything's ok with them now, but she's just worried they'd go back to the way they were back then.

[cruitr]

"well, sorry to be a prick but if you read the whole thing then you would know..i didn't have a specific question, i asked for an opinion/advice."

I've lived in Dallas for several years and currently live in San Diego. When you get a few specific questions together, I'd be glad to answer them.

[REGGieSD]

Originally Posted by cruitr

"well, sorry to be a prick but if you read the whole thing then you would know..i didn't have a specific question, i asked for an opinion/advice."

I've lived in Dallas for several years and currently live in San Diego. When you get a few specific questions together, I'd be glad to answer them.

like i stated i didn't have "specific" questions...but i appreciate your intent to help though.