Is San Diego the right choice?? Grateful for your input!

[SDrelocate]

Some good comments above.

I reloed out to San Diego a few years back from Chicago. I grew up in DC area and went to grad school and then worked 5 years out in DC area.

I've also traveled all over China in scores of business trips over the last 15 or so years, incrediblly fascinating and dynamic place. The changes over just 15 years have been absolutely stunning. I even considered an expat gig a few years ago, while wife was pregnant. I turned it down.....pollution is horrible and didn't want wife stuck lonely in expat housing while I worked god awful hours. That being said I now wouldn't rule out a couple years Expat in a place like Shanghai. It would be great experience for the kids, plus they may even get decent Mandarin skills, although I hear Shanghaiese is quite a bit different.

San Diego, and in particular North Coastal is wonderful place to raise a family. So far so good as a fumble thru fatherhood with a couple young kids. I only say North Coastal because Encinitas, Carlsbad are the areas I'm really familiar with, bunch of other areas in SD are very good.

If you are used to the hustle and bustle of Shanghai, Hong Kong, DC, NYC, you may be a bit disappointed by the San Diego nightlife. That being said, San Diego is a culturally and entertainment rich areas, especially if you have kids.

Having a decent, stable job goes a long way for Quality-of-life in any location. Life is not fun if you are scrapping by with no time to enjoy. Life is also no fun making lots of $ and no time to enjoy. I would strongly encourage that you have a job lined up prior to moving out.

I don't don't have alot of experience with San Fran, but have run into alot of Bay area transplants down here in SD. I do like to visit San Fran. You can't go wrong with DC either, a great city.

Good Luck!

Some additional thoughts fro another thread...

Is the grass always greener in San Diego?

[Ekaterina_Fishka]

Hello. Can I ask your suggestion? I`m sorry for my English, my native language is Russian, but I want learn English well. So, my dream is living in California. For some reasons. How do you think, have I a chance to move to US, if my education is Russian, and I haven't acquaintances in US, and have not an employer. How can I do it?

[Cardiff Kook]

i've grown up living just outside of DC my entire life and am currently working in DC (dupont) and I have to say go for it to the OP. i can't wait to get the **** out of DC and live closer to my family in San Diego. Gotta finish up my second degree and then I will be on my way. The next year and a half can't go fast enough.

Seriously, do you want to come back to this crap weather here in DC? Or kick it on the beach and wear sandals year round?

[SDrelocate]

I have a theory......people in general like their hometowns, and at some point in their lives for whatever reason want to move back, at least temporarily. I think there is comfort in the familiar. Also having old friends and family close by helps, unless of course you have a seriously disfunctional family. With risk if sounding a bit sexist, I've observed that the hometown urge tends to be stronger among women, especially when there is the pitter patter of little feet. Perhaps it can be soothed by walking along the beach in flip flops, it works for me.

[tonyinsd]

Originally Posted by echo42

I would say you have an issue that you need to decide; there is somewhat of a strange dichotomy in your post: you are not willing to give up the gains made in your careers but at the same time you are looking for a lifestyle as opposed to work life.

Great post.

I guess the easiest way to distill it down to its essence is this. Do you want to work to live or live to work?

If you want to work to live, come here.

If you want to live to work, go to DC.

I made my choice. It cost me quite a bit financially. But I'm very happy I did it.

What good would it have done me to have made $10-$15K more a year in DC but be that square peg in a round hole?

Originally Posted by SDrelocate

I have a theory......people in general like their hometowns, and at some point in their lives for whatever reason want to move back, at least temporarily

Maybe. I was born here, moved to DC when I was little, and have always wanted to come back. I really don't have any tangible memories of San Diego as a child because I was too young when I moved. But it sure does feel like home.

So, as a proud na-plant, how do I fit into your theory?

[SDrelocate]

I guess my "hometown theory" is more like a loose observation

San Diego certainly has a different vibe than DC, definetly more laid back in SD. Cost of living must be pretty close. Each place certainly has great qualities and some downsides.

DC is still a very interesting, lively place. I like it alot, traffic is awful though. From the arts, cultural scene to restaurants not to mention all the free world class museums. The economy there may be in store for a bit tougher time in next few years, big cutbacks are likely no matter which party is in power. It is a bit amazing the impact of Federal government has on DC area economy, there has been a huge building and hiring boom. With defense, homeland security, and overall government build up in last 10 years the area has become increasingly dependent on Uncle Sam. There are more "beltway bandits" than you can shake a stick at. It is gonna be a tough time to be a contractor in DC area and revolving door between beltway bandit and govt employee may slow to a crawl.

I'm sure you'll continue to see the horde of Hill Rats with big $ dreams of becoming K Street Lobbyists.

San Diego with good sized Military will take some hit in the tightened budget, inital miilitary announced cuts seem to spare San Diego of more onnerous cuts. Time will tell.

[sweetpea3]

If saftey/crime is an issue for you it may also help to really research the areas of San Diego that you may consider and what you can actually afford to live in. It would be easy to find an affordable one or two bedroom in a decent area but when kids come it can be a very different story. San Diego has many pockets of good and bad. I am always amazed how one good/safe street can have a bad/rough street next to it. There are some great neighborhoods but they are scattered. For many those can be unaffordable or make the commute to work impossible. It all depends on what you're used to or what is acceptable for you and you're family. For me it has been frustrating and dissapointing. We are still renting and now after 2 children we have out grown our rental house again. I know many families that fulfill their dream by living in La Jolla but do so by squeezing their family of 4 in a small 800 sq ft 2 bedroom apt.
Pay real close attention to schools - and keep in mind this state holds a high number of sex offenders. The highest in the U.S. I believe.
We're transplants ourselves and while we've met many, many nice and friendly people we have yet to build many solid, ongoing friendships after 4 years. Hard to explain but you've probably heard it before - it's just different - East Coast vs West Coast. We don't have any family or support here either so it's been hard in a lot of ways.
HOpe this helps! It's a big decision, I know! Good luck with whatever you decide.

[AJRE82]

Hi All,

I can't thank you enough for all of the thoughtful answers and insights everyone contributed--this is truly helpful feedback. I do think this really hit the nail on the head:

you are not willing to give up the gains made in your careers but at the same time you are looking for a lifestyle as opposed to work life.

You're right--we haven't fully figured out which it's gonna be for us at this point. We felt stressed/overworked in DC, then we moved to China, which has been about 20x worse in terms of work-life balance--so the thought of a simpler, less work-driven life with great outdoors is incredibly appealing at this point. But then, we don't want to end up broke or in dead-end jobs. (PS, to the poster who said his wife didn't want to move here while pregnant--I completely sympathize! Plenty of people do it and have no problems at all, but I am too worried about pollution/food/traffic/medical care to even think of having a child here).


Ideally, one or the both of us would be able to land a good job in SD, and we could have our cake and eat it too But in spite of being pretty employable (relatively speaking), it sounds like it is an extremely tough market.

So, it seems like the most popular options are to1) get a job there THEN move (although the prospects of landing a job remotely strike me as quite dim) 2) slog it out in DC until we die of overwork/make enough money to blow that popsicle stand (no offense against DC--I love that city and had a good life there, but I'm convinced there is a a better way to live out there 3) move to a place that has a good balance of opportunity/affordability, save up $$ and perhaps move to SD later.

3 sounds the most appealing...but that creates the new problem, of figuring out where that place is! I think I would love Austin, but alas, worry about similar issues regarding employment. Really nothing is simple, huh?

[tonyinsd]

Originally Posted by AJRE82

So, it seems like the most popular options are to1) get a job there THEN move (although the prospects of landing a job remotely strike me as quite dim) 2) slog it out in DC until we die of overwork/make enough money to blow that popsicle stand (no offense against DC--I love that city and had a good life there, but I'm convinced there is a a better way to live out there 3) move to a place that has a good balance of opportunity/affordability, save up $$ and perhaps move to SD later.

3 sounds the most appealing...but that creates the new problem, of figuring out where that place is! I think I would love Austin, but alas, worry about similar issues regarding employment. Really nothing is simple, huh?

If you can live off your savings for a while, make the move. Why do a halfway measure when you likely will face the same problem and you'll be several years older?

As a former Capitals coach was filmed saying, if you want it, don't just think you want it. Go out and f**king want it.

Get here, live off savings, and find a job. Will it be competitive? Of course it will be. Will you have to work hard to find one, and be annoyed by your dwindling savings while you're looking? Yes.

But if you move to DC, get a job, and then live like a rat in a cage, what's the point of that? If you move somewhere cheap but don't like it, what's the point of that?

Yes, there is risk involved. Are you willing to take it to live where you want? Or are you going to do the safe thing and die unhappy?

If the Pilgrams weren't willing to take a huge risk, we wouldn't have settled this country.

[Cardiff Kook]

Originally Posted by tonyinsd

Great post.

I guess the easiest way to distill it down to its essence is this. Do you want to work to live or live to work?

If you want to work to live, come here.

If you want to live to work, go to DC.

I made my choice. It cost me quite a bit financially. But I'm very happy I did it.

What good would it have done me to have made $10-$15K more a year in DC but be that square peg in a round hole?

You couldn't have said it better amigo.

This is exactly how I feel. Can't wait to get out of DC. 18 months seems like an eternity