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Old 05-09-2012, 12:03 PM
 
Location: iowa
97 posts, read 70,052 times
Reputation: 75
I am a newbie here. I am at serious crossroads in my life. I have always dreamed of movig to So.Ca for probably 20 yrs now.. I am NJ born and raised but have been living in Iowa for the past 16yrs...have a brother here...Well 4 months ago I lost my husband to cancer....I am 58yrs old and I know in my heart I can not handle the winters here in Iowa.....I have always been an adventure soul but my husband was the reasonable one keeping me grounded....I really want to venture out....my family & friends at work think I am crazy, they all think me moving to SoCa by myself is crazy & dangerous....really.....!!! please tell me ..is SoCa..San Diego/Temecula area bad for a women on her own?
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Old 05-09-2012, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Rolando, San Diego CA 92115
7,098 posts, read 17,900,695 times
Reputation: 2883
The assumptions you're making are suspect. You are assuming you will:
- find a minimum wage job in a city full of attractive young people fighting over service industry jobs
- be able to afford to live in a city with 300% COL increase from home
- maintain whatever it is you have going on back home while 3000 miles away

I don't see an "opportunity" other than a chance to have a good time. Maybe if you used a different word.
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Old 05-09-2012, 01:47 PM
 
Location: SoCal
4,281 posts, read 3,708,096 times
Reputation: 2718
Quote:
Originally Posted by virg1123 View Post
I am a newbie here. I am at serious crossroads in my life. I have always dreamed of movig to So.Ca for probably 20 yrs now.. I am NJ born and raised but have been living in Iowa for the past 16yrs...have a brother here...Well 4 months ago I lost my husband to cancer....I am 58yrs old and I know in my heart I can not handle the winters here in Iowa.....I have always been an adventure soul but my husband was the reasonable one keeping me grounded....I really want to venture out....my family & friends at work think I am crazy, they all think me moving to SoCa by myself is crazy & dangerous....really.....!!! please tell me ..is SoCa..San Diego/Temecula area bad for a women on her own?
It's not dangerous. But it's not easy. You need to have either a job or a good pool of money to survive on until you get a job. It's no fun being homeless even in good weather. And if you move out here, you won't have family or friends to rely on until you make new friends out here. That might take a while.
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Old 05-09-2012, 02:54 PM
 
8 posts, read 5,675 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by earlyretirement View Post
Sassberto isn't being snobby or mean. He is simply just being realistic. You mention mid 30's like it's a spring chicken but that isn't necessarily the case. If you're just doing it for a short period to have fun or something that's one thing (and even then I'm not sure I'd say it's a good idea unless you have lots of savings set aside... which it doesn't sound like you do from your post).

You mentioned you owned a small business. What is it? What will happen to the business when you come here for 6 months? Can you operate and run the business from San Diego or is it a home based business? You didn't answer that and it would be key to understand that aspect before intelligently giving you an opinion.
It's interesting to read the extremes on this board. Some say "Do it! Why not??" But others are full of woe.

Our small business (refinishing wood floors) is dead all winter long. We may not have a ton of savings but have some and are completely debt free (just our tiny mortgage which our tenants pay for) and have very high credit scores (which is conducive to my travel-hacking hobby). We fly free on Southwest so getting home last minute is not a problem. And we have done this 3 times before so don't forget we are old pros at the whole walking away from our lives for 6 months. It's a lot of work but it's always been worth it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassberto View Post
The assumptions you're making are suspect. You are assuming you will:
- find a minimum wage job in a city full of attractive young people fighting over service industry jobs
- be able to afford to live in a city with 300% COL increase from home
- maintain whatever it is you have going on back home while 3000 miles away

I don't see an "opportunity" other than a chance to have a good time. Maybe if you used a different word.
The OPPORTUNITY is to sublet a cheap place for 6 months from my friend's uncle, while subletting our NY apartment for 6 months, and spending the winter in sunny San Diego versus gloomy upstate NY!
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Old 05-09-2012, 03:48 PM
 
3,174 posts, read 3,395,195 times
Reputation: 2330
Virg1123...not sure if you need to work or not, but at 58 years of age, the chances of you finding a good paying job in SD would be very difficult. This city is full of young, un/unde-remployed people...

I don't feel it would be dangerous for you to move out here by yourself as long as you research areas and come out with enough money to last you at least a year. If you are basically looking to "retire" here, the COL is very high compared to where you are currently living. Even Temecula is not cheap to rent a nice apartment.

If you have enough money...why don't you just vacation out here in January-March?
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:11 PM
 
Location: iowa
97 posts, read 70,052 times
Reputation: 75
Thank you for the replies....I am no where near retirement, wish I was. I realize life is going to be tough for me there but I will have enough money for one year living but thats about it....I know one person in San Clemente but thats about it....perhaps I am just dreaming...I also thought about the desert area....I thank you again for the info & will keep updating on my plans. People tell me I should wait a year after my husband's passing to make any kind of move but winter gets here pretty darn fast.......
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Old 05-09-2012, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Santaluz - San Diego, CA
4,301 posts, read 3,885,204 times
Reputation: 1742
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinleyBear View Post
It's interesting to read the extremes on this board. Some say "Do it! Why not??" But others are full of woe.

and have very high credit scores. We fly free on Southwest so getting home last minute is not a problem. And we have done this 3 times before so don't forget we are old pros at the whole walking away from our lives for 6 months. It's a lot of work but it's always been worth it.



The OPPORTUNITY is to sublet a cheap place for 6 months from my friend's uncle, while subletting our NY apartment for 6 months, and spending the winter in sunny San Diego versus gloomy upstate NY!

Finley,

Thanks for sharing about the business. I don't think people are necessarily "full of woe". People are just giving you honest and objective advice based on what you wrote. That's what these boards are all about. It's really difficult sometimes to accurately judge someone's personal situation and you only have what they are posting to go by. (Message boards are very tough that way). Your posts didn't exactly inspire a situation where you felt very comfortable about this. In fact, quite the opposite. That is probably why some people are giving you their advice the way they are.

You yourself seem to have plenty of doubt yourself about your plan so that in and of itself might give you some reason to really think it through and understand the dynamics of the tight job market here.

I don't think anyone is saying not to do it. Just to really think things through.

I didn't really understand the part about having "high credit scores". I'm not sure how that factors into the equation but it's wonderful that you're debt free besides your mortgage. I'd fully expect that if you're planning to do something like this. I hope you mentioning your high credit scores some how implied that you were comfortable financing this if you had to.

I'm no stranger to traveling and absolutely love it so I understand your passion there. But I certainly didn't take months off at a time until I was financially secure. I know people have different goals and definitely you yourself know what your situation is if you can comfortable do this sort of thing.

I think it's wonderful to take 6 months off of your life if you can comfortably swing it. The only thing I didn't understand from your post is you said you would fix up the place that you potentially would stay in. Hopefully this isn't a significant amount of money and if so, not with your money.

If you are fully comfortable with a worst case scenario and comfortable dipping into savings to do this if you had to... then sure...go for it. But your posts just didn't come across that way.

Good luck.

Last edited by earlyretirement; 05-09-2012 at 06:48 PM..
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Old 05-09-2012, 11:59 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
1,666 posts, read 1,242,856 times
Reputation: 756
My advice? Just f**king do it. If you think about it, if there weren't people who said, oh, f**k it, I'm going to do it, then this continent would be full of Native Americans and nobody else. If the people on the Mayflower didn't just say, screw it, I'll give it a shot, or if the people who moved west didn't, or...well, you get the idea.
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Old 05-10-2012, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Ocean Beach, San Diego
1,470 posts, read 1,599,748 times
Reputation: 548
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonyinsd View Post
My advice? Just f**king do it. If you think about it, if there weren't people who said, oh, f**k it, I'm going to do it, then this continent would be full of Native Americans and nobody else. If the people on the Mayflower didn't just say, screw it, I'll give it a shot, or if the people who moved west didn't, or...well, you get the idea.
In way you are making a good argument not to come!
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Old 05-10-2012, 09:16 AM
 
3,174 posts, read 3,395,195 times
Reputation: 2330
Virg1123...I do agree that you might want to wait at least a year before making any major decisions. I have had friends who did some drastic stuff after their spouses died and later really regreted it. San Diego will always be here for you...I'd say keep things as normal and familiar as possible during this grieving time.
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