I'll miss you San Diego (Los Angeles, Pasadena: sale, loan, how much)

[Bluefox]

Originally Posted by earlyretirement

Hey Bluefox,

Good luck in your new city of LA! At least you won't be far away so you can still visit with your San Diego friends. And you will still be enjoying Southern California which is wonderful.

Your post was great and you are so spot on target about what a great city San Diego is. Personally, I don't think it's too tough to make some friendships here if you kind of make the special effort and be more willing to reach out to people. I think you have to do that in any new city but especially in a city like San Diego. It's wonderful that you made some close friendships here.

Being so close, they can go up and visit you as well in LA. We're up in LA at least a few times a year and really enjoy it there as well (except the traffic.. LOL).

You also made a great point about the difficulty of friendships due to so many people coming and going. Spot on target. When we first moved here several of our friends would say things like "you do plan to be here for a few years..yes ? Because every time we make friendships the people move away". We hear that all the time.

And not even the younger generations either. There are several people firmly established in their careers and they have to move out for many reasons mostly having to do with the poor job market, high cost of real estate, bad economy, or all of the above! Several of our friends now are thinking about moving here in the near future. Mostly related to job factors and the fairly low wages and high price of real estate.

LA also has some fabulous neighborhoods each with their own flavor and feel as well. Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, Venice, Highland Park, Silver Lake, Los Feliz and so many others that we absolutely love! And man what fabulous restaurants! We never get tired of going out to eat there. So I don't feel too sorry for you! LOL. Good luck with everything.

Thanks for your kind words earlyretirement. I totally agree on the friendship thing. Some people have said it's difficult to make friends in San Diego, and everyone's different, but I've been lucky enough to have met a ton of really awesome people here.

I'm looking forward to LA. I'll actually be living in Pasadena and I've heard great things about it, and I'm looking forward to checking out all the different areas up there. I haven't been up to LA all too much since being in San Diego so it will very much be a new experience for me.

And I'm definitely planning to be back in San Diego to visit for sure.

[Bluefox]

Originally Posted by Sassberto

Congrats on your new job. I'm nearing 40 and have seen dozens of friends move away for various reasons, mostly because of jobs. My wife and I have come to terms with the fact that if we stay in San Diego, our biggest accomplishment in life will be... having stayed in San Diego ;-)

Thanks! yeah, I'd totally stay here if I could but right now it's the best career move for me. But it's nice not being too far away.

[earlyretirement]

Originally Posted by Bluefox

Thanks for your kind words earlyretirement. I totally agree on the friendship thing. Some people have said it's difficult to make friends in San Diego, and everyone's different, but I've been lucky enough to have met a ton of really awesome people here.

I'm looking forward to LA. I'll actually be living in Pasadena and I've heard great things about it, and I'm looking forward to checking out all the different areas up there. I haven't been up to LA all too much since being in San Diego so it will very much be a new experience for me.


And I'm definitely planning to be back in San Diego to visit for sure.

You're totally welcome. Your post was awesome! That area is great. I don't know Pasadena too well but I do have friends and clients that live there and they really enjoy it. There are FAR worse cities you could end up in.

I just sent you a PM...let me know the next time you are in San Diego and coffee/lunch is on me. Best of luck to you in your new job and city.

Originally Posted by Bluefox

Thanks! yeah, I'd totally stay here if I could but right now it's the best career move for me. But it's nice not being too far away.

I think you are doing the right thing. People can say that it's not important to climb the corporate ladder, make more money, yadda yadda. But the time to really do these types of thing are when you are younger. Time flies and you can't do it again later in life sometimes. My personal philosophy is climb the ladder as much as you can as early in life as possible, bank as much savings as possible so that you have more flexibility and control a bit later in life.

I'm not even saying you have to be an "old fart" when you move back to San Diego but you sound like you're totally doing the wise thing. Plus, as mentioned, that area is really great too. Your new job sounds like a big improvement (and almost for sure more money vs. your job here).

[skeke]

Judy the Beauty on Duty is quite the lady. I've admired her for over 20 years.

[Pepper101]

Congrats. Pasadena is a lovely area. You're also only a few minutes drive from the half dozen Asian burbs of the San Gabriel Valley. I'm sure you'll find a new fave shabu place in no time

[shmoov_groovzsd]

Lots to miss in San Diego, but just as much to gain in a fun area like Pasadena.

San Diego will always be a quick drive down and perhaps a place to move back to in the future.

Life experience and traveling provide incredible insight.

Best of luck bluefox!

[Jehjeh]

Good luck, Bluefox! Pasadena's nice. Do make an effort to visit the museums in L.A. and learn some of the city's history. Lots of people like to rag on L.A., but it really does have a fantastic background (though I admit bias -- I was born and raised in L.A.). And really, you won't be that far away from San Diego. That's an easy day trip if you ever really get totally homesick.

Enjoy!

[codexone]

Originally Posted by earlyretirement

I always won't regret my decision to have not moved to San Diego until later in life vs. my 20's after college. As I post many times, all my college friends that had kids moved on to other cities. ALL of them. Those same guys pretty much hazed me after we graduated for moving to Dallas vs. other glamorous cities like San Diego, NYC, San Francisco, etc. But ironically as I moved to San Diego, they moved to boring cities like Atlanta, Charlotte, Dallas... LOL. Funny how that works.

Even today, most of my friends here around your same age with kids pretty much say the same thing as you mentioned. The only ones that don't seem to complain much are either single with a good and decent job, married with no kids or gay with no kids.

I think the biggest struggle starts to be once you have a few kids and reality sets in. When you are single or a bachelor or even married with no kids you can afford to be "in the dark" for a few years. But the real 'eye opener' for most people is having 2 or 3 kids. Reality sets in VERY quickly once you are saving up for college for a few kids along with all of life's other expenses raising kids.

Earlyretirement,

I agree. I did get a job in San Diego a year after my graduation from Grad school and my reason to move was simply because of the higher wages, not aware of the cost of living. I got an apartment in a Clairemont neighborhood when my friends were living in La Jolla. After eating out at fancy places every weekend and paying 100 bucks in bar tabs every Friday with them for a few months, I realized I have been doing something wrong. I do pride myself on making that realization quickly instead of a couple years down the line :-) So, I started paying off my student loans instead, making new friends who like to hang out in each others apartments instead of paying ridiculous amounts of money for drinks and food outside. I also sent money to my parents in India so they could finish the construction of a house clear without any loan while maxing my 401K.

In 2010, I got married and in 2012 after my wife was expecting we started looking for a house. Boy was that an eye-opener! We didn't want to live in neighborhood with weak schools, and we would go broke paying for a house in Rancho Bernardo or Rancho Penasquitos (even with the low interest rates). We didn't want to live paycheck to paycheck like most people paying into the debt machine grinding ourselves and still be left at the mercy of the economic situation. I then got a job in Dayton where I make more than San Diego. Things turned around quickly. We bought a house here with 20% down payment, do not pay mortgage insurance and that saving goes straight into investments. We also got a homestead with 5 acres of land in a neighborhood that has great nationally ranked schools in the suburbs. We are very happy here.

We do miss San Diego, but our priorities changed and so did we. We do plan on coming back to Southern California (Orange County maybe) sometime during the next bust when our kids are of high school age with the investment money we can scrounge and make it work for us!

[Ragnar]

Thanks for sharing bluefox. Best wishes on your new adventure to Pasadena! Make sure to take in a Rose Bowl at some point.

[earlyretirement]

Originally Posted by codexone

Earlyretirement,

I agree. I did get a job in San Diego a year after my graduation from Grad school and my reason to move was simply because of the higher wages, not aware of the cost of living. I got an apartment in a Clairemont neighborhood when my friends were living in La Jolla. After eating out at fancy places every weekend and paying 100 bucks in bar tabs every Friday with them for a few months, I realized I have been doing something wrong. I do pride myself on making that realization quickly instead of a couple years down the line :-) So, I started paying off my student loans instead, making new friends who like to hang out in each others apartments instead of paying ridiculous amounts of money for drinks and food outside. I also sent money to my parents in India so they could finish the construction of a house clear without any loan while maxing my 401K.

In 2010, I got married and in 2012 after my wife was expecting we started looking for a house. Boy was that an eye-opener! We didn't want to live in neighborhood with weak schools, and we would go broke paying for a house in Rancho Bernardo or Rancho Penasquitos (even with the low interest rates). We didn't want to live paycheck to paycheck like most people paying into the debt machine grinding ourselves and still be left at the mercy of the economic situation. I then got a job in Dayton where I make more than San Diego. Things turned around quickly. We bought a house here with 20% down payment, do not pay mortgage insurance and that saving goes straight into investments. We also got a homestead with 5 acres of land in a neighborhood that has great nationally ranked schools in the suburbs. We are very happy here.

We do miss San Diego, but our priorities changed and so did we. We do plan on coming back to Southern California (Orange County maybe) sometime during the next bust when our kids are of high school age with the investment money we can scrounge and make it work for us!

EXACTLY codexone. Thanks for taking the time to share your personal story. I have heard MANY examples almost exactly like yours. Personally I think you did the right thing doing it that way. I respect people like you because you do what's probably in the best interests of your kids and family (and ultimately yourself) vs. staying in a high COL city where you will be living paycheck to paycheck to live here.

That's the point that I make in many of these posts. You can always come and move to San Diego when you are established and can easily afford to live the lifestyle you want to live. Congrats.