My experience as a single 26m from DC. 7 months, I dont really like the people. (San Diego: cliquey, 2013)

[rgb123]

you are right for sure about this: "the hard part was leaving home now you can go anywhere" that is SOOO true and I know a lot of people who could never get that far. The first move is also, always the toughest. It gets easier after that and especially if you keep your expectations low.

I disagree with people who often spout off the old adage "you can be happy anywhere" well, maybe. But I'm pretty sure there are a lot of places I'd hate (And I have proof) and other places I'd be much better off. There are places that would be like hell to me (Afganistan? Detroit even?)

I moved a LOT when I was your age and only slowed down recently. Being a man its even more acceptable for you to do that. I also wouldn't get tied to another lease.

Anyway, I lived in San Antonio and spent a lot of time in Austin (they are about 60 miles apart) my ex was a professor at UT. Austin is great in a lot of ways. It's actually VERY liberal but to me it was to a point of annoyance. You see, everything in Texas is (politically) is magnified. I swear it was impossible to be a moderate person in Texas. You had to be red or blue, liberal or conservative people wouldn't let you be middle of the road, it doesn't exist in Texas. I liked Austin a lot but like SF better, believe it or not I find it more possible to be moderate in SF (maybe cause its just a bigger city and its not surrounded by Texas, things do not have to be so high contrast).

Seattle is awesome (yes, I lived in WA too). I have friends there as well and we have a lot in common though they do not get as annoyed as myself by the overly liberal types (I mean the militant type that again, can't just let you be middle of the road) but more so -- its the weather. That would be the main reason I'm not in WA, I still feel too young to let my beach days get away from me. But when I stop caring so much about that (or the darkness in winter) I think I could easily be in the PacNW. love it. and it definitely is more intellectual.

There are a lot of great things to explore I say just go for it. If you find a good company as a dev you can eventually work from home, then you can go anywhere. for now find a company to pay you to go somewhere and start exploring.

[iamdro]

I don't mind weed, it's not really for me though, I have problems with it when i'm around people who think they can only function when on it, and waste most of their already crappy paychecks on it. I'm all for "hey lets make district 9 even more amazing" though.

[NorthSDLifer]

Yeah, but weed is too bland for those aliens. You have kind of reminded me of a guy I worked with from Philly a few years back. I don't recall him complaining about San Diego, though -- well, except for the "bums" (homeless). Not that you have -- don't recall. He did leave - for AZ - but I could see him having similar complaints. But he's a Phillies fan, so a natural complainer, ha.

[AADAD]

Freedom like wind has it's own desires. Follow your heart, find true adventure and feel fulfilled. Many people here have traveled and had their eyes opened to the good the ugly and the beautiful. It is up to us with the days we have to see the world. When you risk it you gain it.

Don't worry. You know what you're doing.

[e30is]

A bit late but I have also lived in the DC area most of my life and spent some time in SD as well. While I liked SD during my mid-20's, I also began to dislike it over time due to the fact that there wasn't really any drive or motivation among most of the people to do anything like it was in the East Coast. I also share similar sentiments from the OP as well. It also reminded me of direction this country is going. Even though I worked more in SD in a professional than I did in the East coast lots of the young people in their 20s were working at least 2 jobs and never really had time to either hang out or relax. It also begged the question of how laid back SD was. I know DC and the whole area isn't laid back, but I at least could hang out with friends and hear what they've accomplished.


For reference, I lived in N Park and liked the neighborhood overall.

[Opt_10]

Originally Posted by iamdro

Granted my view of san diego is a bit skewed, I'm in PB, but honestly other areas don't feel much better. In OB i cant tell who's homeless and who lives there, and i get high just walking down newport. In north park I see a mixture of people who belong in PB, and a mixture of people who wish it was portland. I've been called somewhat of a hipster myself, and generally i get a long with people who are a bit hipsterish, but this feels like a completely different breed Downtown I see tourists (gas lamp and little italy), and the people from pb dressed up like it's LA.

Don't get me wrong, If i had a group of friends out here, or I came with a wife/ family/ girlfriend, my view would probably be different, I'm also battling a change of environment and leaving everyone I know behind. But when I think about it, every time i've taken trips to other cities/ countries, i have no problem meeting other people and blending in in a short amount of time (NYC, and puerto rico for example), but out here i've sort of exausted myself trying to make conversation. I can't talk about music because the scene out here is very reggae based, and music is one of the things I connect most with other people.

San diego is beautiful though, when I got here one of the first things I thought was "wow, these people probably don't even appreciate the palm tress, and the views of mountains, beaches and valleys" And honestly, I feel like i've become one of those people. In my time here i've tried out for 3 different bands, which were all more like a weed smoking session. I have joined many meet up groups and have gone to many events which have all felt a bit awkward and forced. I'm not very athletic, but I played on a ymca soccer team for a bit. I tried picking up surfing, and finally, the one thing i've fell in love with, is scuba diving, I got certified here, and i try going out every week, its pretty much the one thing i have to look forward to.

Don't get me wrong, i've met some cool people out here, just no one I felt like "yes, this is awesome, I want to hang out with them again". Also, i've been having a hard time dating, the scene out here just feels different. I even tried the online thing for a bit and was not having any success. As an example, I got tinder out here, and for weeks would struggle to get a single match which would then turn into 3 line conversations.

Much of this is still true in San Diego. Making real friends is hard particularly if you are a bit mature in your 30s. I do appreciate the beauty.. mountains, ocean, etc but you can't really have a conversation with the ocean. This should be known for people contemplating a move to SD without a prior support system here. It's funny when I Google San Diego I see so many posts that says san diego is boring. I initially didn't feel that way.. but it's kinda boring for me now. May be it's the lack of interesting meetup groups coupled with the almost constant weather. But trust me. It could be worse. Like tulsa, oklahoma. I won't be able to make it there. Lol.

[Opt_10]

Originally Posted by earlyretirement

OK but remember that these boards are around forever. So it's good to kind of really focus on the OP and what they are asking before giving advice. Because the answers not only help the OP but more so they help the masses that will read the post in the future.

Someone in the future might be in a similar situation (i.e. age) and see your list including Del Mar and add that to the list of options when quite honestly that isn't really appropriate. JMHO.

Me. I am in a similar situation. I live in PB (don't ask me why? I moved here in July fell in love with the proximity to beach not knowing it would get so cold by November). However, I believe neighborhood is not necessarily the problem. You can live in any neighborhood and go out to socialize with people during week ends. I am under the impression that luck has a lot to do with it. Sometimes you hit it off with some one and become good friends. Other times it just never happens or takes a while! Dang! Such is life. It would help if there were meetup groups focused on things like dining out, coffee etc. But most of them are focused on hiking, fitness, yoga, more fitness, and bars. You can't make good friends when you are sweating on a strenuous morning hike ( I don't know how san diegans do it at 6 am or 8 am!) or when some one is drunk at a bar.

[eastcoastbias]

Originally Posted by Opt_10

Much of this is still true in San Diego. Making real friends is hard particularly if you are a bit mature in your 30s. I do appreciate the beauty.. mountains, ocean, etc but you can't really have a conversation with the ocean. This should be known for people contemplating a move to SD without a prior support system here. It's funny when I Google San Diego I see so many posts that says san diego is boring. I initially didn't feel that way.. but it's kinda boring for me now. May be it's the lack of interesting meetup groups coupled with the almost constant weather. But trust me. It could be worse. Like tulsa, oklahoma. I won't be able to make it there. Lol.

Having lived here 12 years now...I don't get bored with San Diego. I seem to discover new restaurants and activities just fine. The weather is fine with me, now having said that I wouldn't move here for just the weather. Politically I've always been very light blue, but when I moved here I've met so many dark blue folks - I've become neutral.


To avoid the masses, I work around the masses- I do work early, I shop on off times, I workout out on off times. This has made my experience better. I still get frustrated with the pace and attitudes can be a little too laid back. This is an extremely slow city IMO.


You can get nickeled and dimed to death here too. Registering things, getting licenses, business fees, taxes (state income, sales), mandatory smogs, overall services are marked up, HOAs, MelloRoos

[jnojr]

I have to shake my head when someone "can't meet anyone" and decides the blame must lie with the neighborhood, the city, the state...

[RosieSD]

Originally Posted by Opt_10

Me. I am in a similar situation. I live in PB (don't ask me why? I moved here in July fell in love with the proximity to beach not knowing it would get so cold by November). However, I believe neighborhood is not necessarily the problem. You can live in any neighborhood and go out to socialize with people during week ends. I am under the impression that luck has a lot to do with it. Sometimes you hit it off with some one and become good friends. Other times it just never happens or takes a while! Dang! Such is life. It would help if there were meetup groups focused on things like dining out, coffee etc. But most of them are focused on hiking, fitness, yoga, more fitness, and bars. You can't make good friends when you are sweating on a strenuous morning hike ( I don't know how san diegans do it at 6 am or 8 am!) or when some one is drunk at a bar.

I recall that this is a temporary location for you --- aren't you only here for a year? Just a thought, but I wonder if that is playing a part in your loneliness. Some people might not want to invest much in a friendship knowing you'll be leaving soon. And, it really does take about a year to start making deeper friendships, so the length of time you'll be here might be part of why you're feeling a little lost right now. Where will you be moving at the end of the year?