San Diego is Not for Everyone (Fresno, Bakersfield: apartments, skateboarding, to live in)

[pgrdr]

Originally Posted by rgb123

I think the conversation illustrated that well, I hope that person moves to a very liberal leaning city like Portland or sf and finds out that mentality is not exactly cosmopolitan either.

Chicago and new York have all types of people, all cultures, all classes. No CA city is truly like that and only one that comes close is LA.

Portland and SF have populations with diverse viewpoints, too.

I enjoyed the OP...the man has been visiting for 15 years and researching. He probably has a better viewpoint than someone born here who has never left and never
researched enough to know what might be different here!

I agree.

To those who think its a back water, move to an actual rural place in another state like MS or AR or even Illinois or WA.

WA? You are comparing WA to MS and AR? LOL! Not even close!

Try about any place outside of LA,SF, NYC or Chicago then come back and say this area is so backwards!!

Try Alaska. You'd think you'd traveled back in time.

Personally, I dont think I could live on the east coast after being on the west coast for a few years. I know people I worked with considered me abrasive when I wad fresh from Chicago. I am still more direct than the average Californian or southerner. But I know how I feel when I deal with the stereotypical hyper competitive east coast personality for work now....frankly its yucky. I fully understand now the phrase " that person left s bad taste in my mouth" felt more like I needed a shower last time... For a few days.

People from WA just quietly judge them, because they are much too polite and conflict avoidant to let on what they are thinking. (<;

[LuvSouthOC]

Right. San Diego is not for everyone, it is just for 98.99 percent of the people who visit it (especially those from other areas) and wish they could stay.

[pgrdr]

Originally Posted by SoCalbound12

Man what was it 3 posts before someone comes in and takes a dump in this thread? You talk about thin skinned SD'ers yet why do anti-SD people feel the need to destroy EVERY. SINGLE. THREAD. in the SD forum with all of their drivel about how SD sucks? Who are the thin skinned ones? Because anti-SD'ers can't ever seem to let go. They have to come and talk about how much more "cultured" or "diverse" or just all around more awesome SF/LA/OC/NY/Boston/Chicago/etc. are than SD. We get it. San Diego is not for everyone (seems I've heard that somewhere before) but perhaps we who actually like SD wouldn't be so "sensitive" if naysayers and debbie downers didn't have to come and pee in our cornflakes all the damn time.

So let them. That's what this forum is for. People ask questions or put topics out there for discussion, and a good site will have varied opinions. I, for one, want to read all those opinions. I don't want a cheerleading squad because I won't get a clear picture that way. There are people reading, you know, who have the same values, desires, and comfort zones as those of whom you are complaining. For those people, reading what someone of like-cultural-mind thinks is important.

Upset and believing critical comments are peeing in the SD cornflakes "all of the damned time" is thin-skinned, and the sufferer would probably be better off on a forum with only a group-think.

[pgrdr]

Originally Posted by GMUAlum08

its a good post but kind of strange considering the OP doesn't live in SD

No, it isn't strange.

[rgb123]

Originally Posted by pgrdr

Portland and SF have populations with diverse viewpoints, too.

I agree.

WA? You are comparing WA to MS and AR? LOL! Not even close!

Try Alaska. You'd think you'd traveled back in time.

People from WA just quietly judge them, because they are much too polite and conflict avoidant to let on what they are thinking. (<;

no, I wasn't comparing WA or MS to each other. I was pointing out that most places are more rural than any place in Southern California, they just don't have these kinds of large sprawling population centers everywhere else. That how "urban" SD is quite subjective depending on where you are from, and unless you are from a place that is quite sophisticated it won't really feel that boring or small townish here. In fact I still don't really get those assertions and I'm from Chicago. I really like the City of San Diego, while I also recognize it has more potential and I think a lot will continue to happen to the more urban areas as CBD's have become more en vouge. I just happen to prefer to live (usually) in the smaller towns near larger cities (not suburbs necessarily). Though I think as of right now if I am to move anyplace in the San Diego area from Carlsbad, Coronado might be my pick. I'm still thinking on it!

I would like to visit Alaska!

You are right about the people from WA! lol

[pgrdr]

Originally Posted by =LuvSouthOC

Case closed. San Diego is an awesome place to live even with its shortcomings...

There is no such thing as "case closed' when referring to subjective feelings about place and culture.

We get the same bashing crap on the OC board from mostly jealous people.

So, you are claiming that people who do not like living in a specific place, for a variety of their own reasons, really don't like that place because they are jealous? It can't be that they are used to a different lifestyle and culture and prefer the other? Or worse, they might want their community environment to better reflect them, too?

Ok, I readily admit that when I was younger, I felt like so many of these guys about San Diego and wanting San Diego to be NYC.

Okay, at one point in your development, there were qualities about SD you did not appreciate, is that right? Yet, in your case, it wasn't "jealousy," and it was acceptable for you to have negative feelings and want to go elsewhere, and of course you must have shared those feelings with someone, but it not okay for others to do the same now.

l left San Diego and moved to LA and then DC and did all the supposedly wondrous things that were not in San Diego. I was so glad to come back to San Diego in 2012. I eventually moved to neighboring OC but love SD too. I love this area and I find that people who crap all over it are either: 1) better suited elsewhere, or 2) are jealous of the area.

So now that you've reached a different developmental stage in your life, you've changed your mind; therefore, it is not okay for others to have the same sort of feelings you used to have. If they do so ungraciously have those feelings, it for sure is uncool with you if they are expressed.

Gotcha; exercising a double standard is an entitlement.

Given your comments, though, I'm guessing you could drum up some empathy instead. (<;

[rgb123]

Originally Posted by pgrdr

So it seems, GingerDancer, that your cyberstalking critic is behaving exactly like the sort of person she/he accused you of stereotyping all San Diegans. Go figure! lol

you can't be serious....

anyway she was talking about me, not luvsouthoc.

and she was following me around, most of her particularly vitriolic posts have been removed.

[LuvSouthOC]

Originally Posted by pgrdr

There is no such thing as "case closed' when referring to subjective feelings about place and culture.

So, you are claiming that people who do not like living in a specific place, for a variety of their own reasons, really don't like that place because they are jealous? It can't be that they are used to a different lifestyle and culture and prefer the other? Or worse, they might want their community environment to better reflect them, too?

Okay, so at one point in your development, there were qualities about SD you did not appreciate, is that right? Yet, in your case, it wasn't "jealousy," and it was acceptable for you to have negative feelings and want to go elsewhere, and of course you must have shared those feelings with someone, but it not okay for others to do the same now.

Okay, so now that you've reached a different developmental stage in your life, you've changed your mind; therefore, it is not okay for others to have the same sort of feelings you used to have. If they do so ungraciously have those feelings, it for sure is uncool with you if they are expressed.

Gotcha; exercising a double standard is an entitlement.

Given your comments, though, I'm guessing you could drum up some empathy instead. (<;

Empathy yes. Let me start with an example: Does San Diego have awesome night clubs? No, not really. Did I care 25 years ago? Yes. Do I care now? LOL not in the least unless you send my tired old body to the Gran Canarias or Ibiza (in which case I will make an exception), but I can admit it is not San Diego's forte. And I will admit that by international standards, hell even comparing the city to Buenos Aires or Istanbul makes San Diego look slow, but so what! I say go experience those places, and then when done, come home.

I guess since I have travelled so widely around the world (nearly all of Europe, East and West Africa, Latin America, Asia, etc.) and experienced so much, that I am in experience fatigue mode. I am happy with what I have done having lived 5 full lives and now want a slower pace. Yes I want to do and see more, but I am not as young I was. So yes I find it natural for a young person here to want to do new things and can see how he or she would crave a lifestyle different from the offered here. All I am saying is that you will be back.

[rgb123]

Originally Posted by pgrdr

Passive aggressive master. Very skilled, but unpleasant to come in and read.

its really not appropriate to address it here -- that was written after she had incessantly attacked me, it was really quite odd. at one point I was like, geez is she going to figure out where I live and attack?

It was just strange and she would write very long posts full of insults at me and others, it was hard to take it seriously, in fact I didn't, and that is what I wrote.

I believe she was either banned or hopefully found something better to do. It was very unusual, unforunatley not all posts were removed including some of mine, I quit responding to her and was just reporting her attacks on me and others. most were removed.

[pgrdr]

Originally Posted by LuvSouthOC

Right. San Diego is not for everyone, it is just for 98.99 percent of the people who visit it (especially those from other areas) and wish they could stay.

Including me!