Looking for communities/commutes to SV & LJ for fam of 3 (Mesa: apartments, rentals)

[StatesTravellers]

Greetings! Our family is relocating in stages to SD--husband is there with job now in Sorrento Valley (staying with family in Mira Mesa at the moment) and our son and I are waiting until next June, while I finish out my current work contract. We're fairly open to ideas at this point and have some time to try and work it out. Here are the various criteria we are considering/juggling.

DH's job is about a half mile off the Coaster station in SV. He's trying to avoid long commutes, but is open to reasonable drives (He likes his commute now from Mira Mesa) and is open to a Coaster/bike option.

Kiddo will most likely be in private school--first choice is at Torrey Pines/La Jolla Shores intersection, so pretty crappy traffic. Also looking at Francis Parker and LJCD.

I will be looking for part or full time work, my areas are education, arts, non-profit, etc. and most of my leads thus far are either downtown or La Jolla area. If I can't find work (or even if I do and want to pick up some more $) my other job is teaching private music lessons and arts ed. for homeschoolers--which means I either need studio access or to live in a home where I can teach (i.e. prob would need to be SF or detached townhome).

Budget considerations--for purchasing a home I think we could go up to 800k, depending on the tax burden, HOA fees, etc. Would like to keep it under 3k per month if possible. Going higher means private school is out, and I'm pretty solid on that right now. I'm open to a condo, especially in the right location and if might be a possible good convert to a rental property in a couple years, if we want to move. However, I'd want a condo purchase to be significantly less (under 450k) since it will limit my ability to work at home. Ideally, we'd like to rent for a year while looking, but would like to keep rent under $2500. Willing to do 2br in a rental, prefer 3br or a 2br with den or extra room in a purchase.

In terms of community, we are a mixed bag. Hubby favors malls and big box stores, I like funky neighborhoods (ex NYCer) and the kiddo is hoping for nearby pool and park options--assuming we will all need to compromise. I would prefer NOT to live in Mira Mesa, (want distance from the in-laws) but if I'm stupid to rule this out, please convince me.

Obviously it would be convenient to everything to live in La Jolla, but until we win the lottery, twice, that does not seem possible. I know we can't afford the beach right now, but I'd prefer not to live in the desert. So, what are our best options in between? TIA for all opinions and advice.

[oddstray]

Given your budget and the private schools, look at Clairmont Mesa. Not for rentals - rental apartments in CM are rather sad. You you could get a nice house, and it's not horrible to either SV or downtown. Again, though, public schools are questionable.

[hkbruin]

That doesn't make any sense given what you're looking for. Actually, take a look a little inland around the 56.