Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Let's just say that if you look like you're from the Westside of LA, South Orange County or Scottsdale, you're going not going to get very far in San Diego from a socialization standpoint.
I live in Long Beach, and every time I go down to San Diego with my friends from LA/OC, we get so many dirty looks, lots of backhanded compliments and under-breath comments, doors slammed in our faces, etc. That's in Hillcrest and adjacent neighborhoods, mind you.
In the straight neighborhoods, we just get passed over for service and, sometimes, heckled for being gay.
If I never go to San Diego again, I'll live a very happy and fruitful life.
Does not compute. What does someone from those areas even look like? I don't know anyone in San Diego who gives a toss whether someone is gay or straight or somewhere else entirely.
Are you sure you're not being hassled because of your behavior?
I lived as a minor in San Diego, lived an incredibly social life elsewhere, and just returned to the city. I'm put off by the mean attitudes I've seen almost everywhere I traveled (airport, groceries, malls, just mundane errands with some exceptions). I'm keeping an open mind, because I've been away for so long and can't really judge what's changed since I was a kid/teen in SD.
I have been here for almost 3 years now. I have yet to meet a new friend in San Diego. All my social contacts are Tijuana based. Either people who live there or visit there from San Diego.
I tend to meet people in "hang out" situations but haven't found it in San Diego.
You will see how easy it is to meet new people in Mexico compared to the USA. American Culture is very closed off.
I would say people are polite in SD but hardly wanting to make new friends.
I have been here for almost 3 years now. I have yet to meet a new friend in San Diego. All my social contacts are Tijuana based. Either people who live there or visit there from San Diego.
I tend to meet people in "hang out" situations but haven't found it in San Diego.
You will see how easy it is to meet new people in Mexico compared to the USA. American Culture is very closed off.
I would say people are polite in SD but hardly wanting to make new friends.
Compared to whose culture aside from Mexico? I think you are confusing American culture with regional attitudes. It's like saying "Europeans have no sense of humor" after spending 2 weeks in Germany.
I have been here for almost 3 years now. I have yet to meet a new friend in San Diego. All my social contacts are Tijuana based. Either people who live there or visit there from San Diego.
I tend to meet people in "hang out" situations but haven't found it in San Diego.
You will see how easy it is to meet new people in Mexico compared to the USA. American Culture is very closed off.
I would say people are polite in SD but hardly wanting to make new friends.
I moved here in 2003, I met a good size group of people that I became friends with and would attend social activities (birthdays, other celebrations). From that group only a few have remained in SD County. When I came here I found there were a lot of folks that didn't have roots here and came here for the following: military, moving for a job, moving for weather, moving to go to school here. This made getting to know and meet people easier. Try moving to rural south or a Midwest communities where everyone knows everyone- mingling in these social circles is HARD. But the same reasons people come to SD make it very easy for those folks to leave- I met a lot of "new" people here that had family and friends well outside the area. So I think its hard to establish lasting friendships here because of people coming and going frequently
Now regarding politeness...it is different kind of polite. Not a "I'll go out of my way for you." "it is the "I'll let you do your thing and I won't bug you unless it benefits me in someway".
I think folks are too polite in certain areas...very tolerant here to ignorant/stupid behavior. "No worries" attitude- endless patience attitude. I found (generally speaking) if you are doing something stupid most folks just let stuff slide- let's not create waves, rather than politely even directly at times telling someone what they are doing is inconsiderate.
Taking your precious time as you clean your car out after you pumped gas and their is a line of cars behind you. Won't fly in other parts.
Holding up a line while you finish up a phone call. Nope.
Cutting off three lanes of traffic because you can't be bothered by getting off at the wrong exit. No.
Here if you use your car horn you are the jerk- it isn't the guy/gal that provoked the horn use by cutting off a car almost causing an accident.
I moved here in 2003, I met a good size group of people that I became friends with and would attend social activities (birthdays, other celebrations). From that group only a few have remained in SD County. When I came here I found there were a lot of folks that didn't have roots here and came here for the following: military, moving for a job, moving for weather, moving to go to school here. This made getting to know and meet people easier. Try moving to rural south or a Midwest communities where everyone knows everyone- mingling in these social circles is HARD. But the same reasons people come to SD make it very easy for those folks to leave- I met a lot of "new" people here that had family and friends well outside the area. So I think its hard to establish lasting friendships here because of people coming and going frequently
Now regarding politeness...it is different kind of polite. Not a "I'll go out of my way for you." "it is the "I'll let you do your thing and I won't bug you unless it benefits me in someway".
I think folks are too polite in certain areas...very tolerant here to ignorant/stupid behavior. "No worries" attitude- endless patience attitude. I found (generally speaking) if you are doing something stupid most folks just let stuff slide- let's not create waves, rather than politely even directly at times telling someone what they are doing is inconsiderate.
Taking your precious time as you clean your car out after you pumped gas and their is a line of cars behind you. Won't fly in other parts.
Holding up a line while you finish up a phone call. Nope.
Cutting off three lanes of traffic because you can't be bothered by getting off at the wrong exit. No.
Here if you use your car horn you are the jerk- it isn't the guy/gal that provoked the horn use by cutting off a car almost causing an accident.
This sounds a lot like Phoenix honestly. Except a lot of our transplants come here for college and stay, keep those friends and then people who move here after college end up having a hard time breaking into those social groups. At least that has been my experience. I figured San Diego would be a very transient place as well. My younger brother lives near Carlsbad but he has his former military (Navy) connections and has always been an even bigger social butterfly than I am. It would also be nice to live there so I can watch my little niece grow up, which is why my brother moved back there in the first place.
I've lived in San Diego about 3.5 years and my impression is that people are friendly, but not really social. Like an earlier poster said, I've mostly met people by joining things, etc. The only reason I made any friends when I lived in Hillcrest was because they lived or worked in my building. San Diego is one of those places where people just want to keep their "legacy" friends from high school or wherever for their entire life. Los Angeles is completely different, as in its way more about where you're going than where you've been.
I moved here when I was 19. I was a skateboarder and had a large group of friends initially, then over the years they all moved away. Started to transition to having friends through work in my late 20's and 30's, but everyone is so spread out it's hard to get together outside of happy hour. Ultimately everyone lived in different corners of the county, got married and a fair number of them moved away too. I've been married 14 years so making friends isn't a huge priority when you're starting a family.
In my 30's and 40's I got more serious about climbing and made tons and tons of new friends, and we arrange trips and camp and all that. Not a tight circle but more of a wide circle with a few really committed folks who I spend the most time with since I'm usually an organizer and trip leader. I have friends who are 19 and others in their 60's and we all are connected through climbing. If one partner falls through I can just go down the list and call someone else.
My wife and I haven't had much luck connecting with the other parents from school, just not much in common and frankly thats OK. We know everyone at an acquaintance level and that's fine. A few we like to hang out with but we aren't trying to be part of a big group that does everything together. It's very cliquey and the only thing people have in common is that their kids are friends and they like to sit and drink and talk. Thats fine for an hour but we are busy and active and we'd rather train or hang out as a family.
I have never been a person who needs to be part of a social circle. I am the center of my own circle and love to introduce my friends to each other. I don't like going to bars or nightlife, concerts etc. I don't just like to hang out drinking. I like to go out to dinner or do activities. The best way to meet people in SD is through activities you enjoy. People here are busy and distances are long so you can't expect adults to spend their time driving long distances just to end up hanging out all day.
That said, I know several people with tons of friends, spend all their free time in the bar scene and love it. Not for me, but if thats your thing you can meet lots of people that way.
I moved here when I was 19. I was a skateboarder and had a large group of friends initially, then over the years they all moved away. Started to transition to having friends through work in my late 20's and 30's, but everyone is so spread out it's hard to get together outside of happy hour. Ultimately everyone lived in different corners of the county, got married and a fair number of them moved away too. I've been married 14 years so making friends isn't a huge priority when you're starting a family.
In my 30's and 40's I got more serious about climbing and made tons and tons of new friends, and we arrange trips and camp and all that. Not a tight circle but more of a wide circle with a few really committed folks who I spend the most time with since I'm usually an organizer and trip leader. I have friends who are 19 and others in their 60's and we all are connected through climbing. If one partner falls through I can just go down the list and call someone else.
My wife and I haven't had much luck connecting with the other parents from school, just not much in common and frankly thats OK. We know everyone at an acquaintance level and that's fine. A few we like to hang out with but we aren't trying to be part of a big group that does everything together. It's very cliquey and the only thing people have in common is that their kids are friends and they like to sit and drink and talk. Thats fine for an hour but we are busy and active and we'd rather train or hang out as a family.
I have never been a person who needs to be part of a social circle. I am the center of my own circle and love to introduce my friends to each other. I don't like going to bars or nightlife, concerts etc. I don't just like to hang out drinking. I like to go out to dinner or do activities. The best way to meet people in SD is through activities you enjoy. People here are busy and distances are long so you can't expect adults to spend their time driving long distances just to end up hanging out all day.
That said, I know several people with tons of friends, spend all their free time in the bar scene and love it. Not for me, but if thats your thing you can meet lots of people that way.
I'm pretty active as well. I'm not really an athlete by any means. Just grew up dancing and really enjoy getting outside for a nice hike every now and then, but especially love beach activities. I would love to be able to go rollerblading regularly though! Nightlife isn't really my thing. I'm not a drinker. I do like to go out country dancing-2 step though. That's about the only type of bar scene I can take. Not sure what the country music scene is like out there, but I also love live music and it looks like that's a big deal out in SD too.
I agree...I don't know anyone who drives long distances just to "hang out" in adult life. We all have a life to get to lol.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
