Feedback appreciated! (San Diego, Orange, August: fit in, house, neighborhoods)

[brooklyntim]

Dear friends in the San Diego area,

I'm a recent transplant to SF and am contemplating a move to SoCal, possibly in the SD area. I am a single gay father of two sons with special needs, and we are a multi-racial family. SF was liberal and accepting, but not very family friendly and extraordinarily expensive. My sons have hated living in SF because of the noise (they have sensory issues), the traffic, the lack of trees, the lack of a feeling of "neighborhood" with backyards and kids riding bikes on the sidewalks, etc. I considered moving to the East Bay, but it's still too expensive, and then I have the commute to deal with and lack of affordable after-school options, etc. Now is a good time to consider a move, as my sons will enter high school this August, likely in a non-public spec ed school.

Would the San Diego area be a good fit for our non-traditional family? I'm looking for diversity, progressiveness, decent schools, affordability and a suburban feel with sense of community. Am I crazy to think we could find this anywhere in California?

Thank you in advance!

Tim

[cruitr]

Do you have a job here?

[CNYC]

I would say not really ( like anyplace else ) unless you hang out in Hillcrest but even then gay hangs and children don't go together well.

SD is conservative as all heck. Sure you have the brahs, some gays , cholos Etc. but you are talking mainly white conservative or there about.

One could buy into anything if you have enough money.

You need an urban city like LA,NYC Etc.

You could live in SD no problem but I wouldn't expect to be welcomed with open arms. This goes in school as well.

[sfosyd]

I think CNYC lives in North County so that may skew his view his view a bit. I try to stay away from North County because I hate to drive and it does seem conservative and white up there. It seems like a less diverse Orange County.

Anyway, I’d recommend many of the areas around Balboa Park. I agree that Hillcrest is not the most family friendly but Mission Hills, South Park, University Heights are all good options, you just need to be careful with schools just like in SF. There are options though.

Be aware that a house in these areas is about half the cost of SF i.e. a 1.6 house in SF would be 800k. But SF is a huge economic center and the salaries reflect that, so unless you are coming with a job, SD may actually be more expensive. Also, many of the job centers are in North County and that is not a fun commute.

These neighborhoods fit your criteria and in my opinion are just as liberal and accepting as SF and much more so than the East Bay. Less than two percent of my district voted for the idiot in chief...

Good luck.

[eastcoastbias]

"SF was liberal and accepting, but not very family friendly and extraordinarily expensive"


SD is less liberal, probably more family friendly and less expensive.


Now SD is not conservative as all heck. Fiscally speaking, when we go to the ballot we love to approve taxes and we adhere to the let's make the wealthy or middle class pay for everything. We like to scare off businesses and fund these crazy homeless project ideas. Socially speaking, it may not be SF, but its not the Midwest, the south, Texas or even most of FL, and there are parts of the East Coast even some metro areas that you either fit in (socially, educational background, sometimes even race or religion) or your on the outside. SD to me is one big melting pot of folks from all walks of life. I meet people here daily that come from all over the world and bring with them different thoughts, ideas, etc. The sense of community may not be present because there is a Here today gone tomorrow vibe people moving in and moving out quickly.


Now we have pockets of "sense of community" I've lived in some areas that its nowhere to be seen. There are communities though where neighbors talk, enjoy each others company, streets have block parties. This is not prevalent here though.


As far as family friendly, this is the best aspect of SD you can do any number of family friendly activities in and around the city. Do a "things to do in SD" search and you'll see.

[silverkris]

Originally Posted by sfosyd

I think CNYC lives in North County so that may skew his view his view a bit. I try to stay away from North County because I hate to drive and it does seem conservative and white up there. It seems like a less diverse Orange County.

Anyway, I’d recommend many of the areas around Balboa Park. I agree that Hillcrest is not the most family friendly but Mission Hills, South Park, University Heights are all good options, you just need to be careful with schools just like in SF. There are options though.

Be aware that a house in these areas is about half the cost of SF i.e. a 1.6 house in SF would be 800k. But SF is a huge economic center and the salaries reflect that, so unless you are coming with a job, SD may actually be more expensive. Also, many of the job centers are in North County and that is not a fun commute.

These neighborhoods fit your criteria and in my opinion are just as liberal and accepting as SF and much more so than the East Bay. Less than two percent of my district voted for the idiot in chief...

Good luck.

You've made a very good point -- SD housing may be less than it is in the Bay Area, but also note that the salaries offered in the SD metro area may be less (call it the Sunshine Discount). So the Affordability factor, depending on your individual case, may not be much improved over SF.

[RosieSD]

My advice would be to scope out the high school options (and the options for beyond high school) for your special needs kids first in any potential move.

Quality special ed programs that are a good fit get harder to pin down during the high school years.

Unfortunately, the San Diego area has a dearth of quality high school programs for special needs adolescents - private OR public.

And you don't want to end up with the "perfect" school an hour or more drive away.

So, I'd use that as your first measuring stick of whether or not a particular place might be the right move for your family.

The rest will fall into place if that's satisfied, and conversely, if your kids aren't getting what they need in school, it won't matter how liberal the area may be.

Some San Diego-centric resources that may be helpful to you as a starting point:

1. San Diego County Office of Education Educational Options https://www.sdcoe.net/student-servic...s-document.pdf (this is a bit dated -- SDCOE may have a more recent version)

2. 2019 Parents Guide to Public Schools in SD County https://www.voiceofsandiego.org/schools-guide/

3. San Diego County School District map: https://www.sdcoe.net/about-sdcoe/pa...districts.aspx

4. San Diego Private School Guide (2018)https://www.sandiegomagazine.com/San...-School-Guide/

5. San Diego Special Needs Education Resource List http://specialneedsresourcefoundatio...lay-education/


Good luck with your decision!

[malcorub16]

^^ Good advise, don't focus so much on the "will they accept me" aspect. My neighbors are fine, we aren't so wrapped up in each others business that we can't get along and that's the way I like it. Close enough to where I can call them if I really need them but not so worried about what they are up to personally so they don't get into my business. Same goes for other parents at my kid's school.

[sdurbanite]

It might help to know that SD has the 8th highest percentage of same-sex married couples filing tax returns. You'd think some of them would have kids.

https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-...ouples-n852716

[moved]

The OP has now decided to move to Las Cruces.