Materalistic kids in San Diego? (Orange, Carlsbad: buying, luxury, private schools)

[fishwiz]

I know this is a weird question. I keep meeting families who are moving to my area from Orange and San Diego counties citing that it is easier to raise kids here due to less materialism. I am not trying to offend anyone who lives in San Diego. But I have read many posts that say some people are shallow. I know this is a relative question- all over the county kids get cars for their 16th birthday and many HS parking lots with the students cars much nicer than the teachers and etc. From some parents raising young kids- Overall- what do you really think? We are looking to move to Encinitas or Carlsbad.

[Sassberto]

Originally Posted by fishwiz

I know this is a weird question. I keep meeting families who are moving to my area from Orange and San Diego counties citing that it is easier to raise kids here due to less materialism. I am not trying to offend anyone who lives in San Diego. But I have read many posts that say some people are shallow. I know this is a relative question- all over the county kids get cars for their 16th birthday and many HS parking lots with the students cars much nicer than the teachers and etc. From some parents raising young kids- Overall- what do you really think? We are looking to move to Encinitas or Carlsbad.

Depends where you live. In my office most of the people live in the immediate La Jolla / Del Mar / Carmel Valley / 4S/ RB / Encinitas / south Carlsbad areas. Of those with kids, most drive at minimum a brand-new civic, some drive nicer cars. I would say that the standard is a newer Jetta or equivilant. My boss's son drives a 2008 Lexus SUV, and one of the other directors I know has a teenaged son who drives an Audi A4. I know several of the parents send their kids to private schools despite the fact that their public schools are great. La Jolla Country day and Francis Parker School are popular. A lot of the kids have blackberries and iphones with $100+/mo plans.

That is typical of wealthy areas anywhere, I grew up on Long Island's North Shore and it is the same. Coastal San Diego and OC will be worse in that regard than the inland areas. I think places like inland Carlsbad won't be as bad as places like Encinitas or Del Mar or the areas east of 5. San Diego and SoCal has a reputation for being materialistic, I think it's the parents that are worse than the kids.

[5FLgirls]

Isn't it also about raising your kids the way you want to raise them?? We've always lived in affluent areas and cannot afford everything that everyone else can. We explain to our kids that what you have on the outside doesn't matter but what's inside that counts. There's always someone worse off than they are. If people taught a little empathy instead of buying their kid's brand new cars.... Okay, off my soapbox.

[Sassberto]

Originally Posted by 5FLgirls

Isn't it also about raising your kids the way you want to raise them?? We've always lived in affluent areas and cannot afford everything that everyone else can. We explain to our kids that what you have on the outside doesn't matter but what's inside that counts. There's always someone worse off than they are. If people taught a little empathy instead of buying their kid's brand new cars.... Okay, off my soapbox.

I agree, but at least where I grew up, being labeled the "poor kid" meant being excluded from a lot of social activities, and basically all of us who lived on the other side of town (the more working class areas) were ostracized by the rich kids who lived down by the water and all grew up together.

[1AngryTaxPayer]

Mine drives a bmw because I want her to have a safe car. Half her friends in her class live near the border and a couple in TJ but they still get invited to all the parties and are welcome in our house. When you have money it's not materialistic. Why drive a junk car if you don't have to?


I have seen it though, we were at opening day at Del Mar and my son saw one of his friends so we went over to talk to the parents. They were all friendly and commenting on how nice my car was until the asked where we lived. I responded Bay Park, you would have thought I farted the way they acted after that.
Big deal, anyone that shallow I don't want to know Some of the coolest people we've met live at Fairbanks Ranch and you know those folks know how to party Not everyone is poisoned by money.

[jksouthbay88]

Not too many in the South Bay,even out here in Rancho Del Rey(Del Rich).Just a few.Most of the people I know around my age drive a 90 something Toyota or Honda,with a few problems with it and that's ifthey drive.I've seen kids in La Jolla,Del Mar,Poway,RPQ driving BMW's,Lexus' and other luxury cars that still don't even add up to my dads 99 Windstar and 05 Carolla put together.(Total of about $33,500 for the two cars)

[tande1n5]

I've always thought this was a bit of a sticky subject... I went to the type of high school in Northern CA where the running gag was the "kids' lot is nicer than the teacher's, standard issue 3 series at 16" type of thing like you mention. Some of my friends took the attitude of "we're some of the few that made it out with good heads, and knowing what I know, I'd keep my kids away from that." I'm not quite so sure personally, because I believe it is possible to raise one's kids to have good heads, even when coming from a family of means. I think it's true, though, that those types of schools will have a mix of materialism and down-to-earth thinking. Since I grew up in those types of schools, perhaps I just am comfortable with dealing with that mix of people, but I find much of it to be hyped.

[fishwiz]

Originally Posted by 5FLgirls

Isn't it also about raising your kids the way you want to raise them?? We've always lived in affluent areas and cannot afford everything that everyone else can. We explain to our kids that what you have on the outside doesn't matter but what's inside that counts. There's always someone worse off than they are. If people taught a little empathy instead of buying their kid's brand new cars.... Okay, off my soapbox.

Well, that is what I think too. And that is why I felt odd asking that question. Since so many people state this as one of the reasons for a move, maybe they are just adding it on to their list of why they want to move and making it a bigger deal then it really is. That is why I appreciate the first hand responses from you.

[1AngryTaxPayer]

We have neighbors that wanted to teach their kids how to appreciate things so they bought their oldest an old taxi for his first car. Well things kind of backfired as gas shot to 5 bucks a gallon and the POS was constantly on the side of the road broke down. That doesn't sound like much of a lesson to me except to not buy crappy old gas guzzling cars. There are many other ways to teach those values than risking your kid's hide with a junk car.

[5FLgirls]

Originally Posted by fishwiz

Well, that is what I think too. And that is why I felt odd asking that question. Since so many people state this as one of the reasons for a move, maybe they are just adding it on to their list of why they want to move and making it a bigger deal then it really is. That is why I appreciate the first hand responses from you.

Maybe it's not the kids they are worried about but themselves?? Maybe they're worried that living in that kind of environment will turn them into people they won't recognize?