What’s up with friendliness in San diego? (Poway: work, hospital)

[leighland]

I think people in SD are friendly but are really busy (one could say 'self-involved) so its hard to make deeper friendships. It also depends on where you live. East County people are different than OB residents. But people are less judgmental and more polite than the rest of the country. I live in Philly now and I realize how the East Coast is like a foreign country compared to SoCal. Can't wait to get back!

[Sampaguita]

Originally Posted by leighland

I think people in SD are friendly but are really busy (one could say 'self-involved) so its hard to make deeper friendships. It also depends on where you live. East County people are different than OB residents. But people are less judgmental and more polite than the rest of the country. I live in Philly now and I realize how the East Coast is like a foreign country compared to SoCal. Can't wait to get back!

This is true!

I've lived in San Diego for 6 years and now in three different communities:

City Heights - no one ever ventured to say hello to us even though we reached out.

El Cerrito/College - the friendliest of neighbors ever! We miss them terribly (one came up & spent the day with us yesterday). They have been like extended family and we've made life-long friends with them.

La Costa - we've discovered the "pulling into garage/driveway & walking directly into the house" syndrome. We've met 2 neighbors in passing in the 2 weeks we've been here. That's not to say that the other neighbors aren't friendly but it's vastly different from our previous neighbors in El Cerrito who welcomed us to the neighborhood before we even moved into our house. Of course, it's dark when people leave for work and dark when people get home from work. Hopefully, it will be different as the weather changes.

Overall, however, I'm finding that people up in this direction seem to be more polite (out in stores everyone I've bumped into or vice-versa has smiled and said, "Oh, excuse me!") but not as diverse.

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by Summers69

I have read conflicting reports on friendliness in San Diego. Some say people are rude others say they are very friendly. I traveled to San Diego (La Jolla actually) back in 2005 and found people to be friendly. Did they just know I was a tourist? I have lived in Massachusetts a place where the people are probably the most unfriendly and ignorant in all of the USA. I would hate to move to an area like San Diego and find out I am staying in on Saturday nights because everyone is a rude jerk or the women are all man haters. What is the bottom line? Thanks

Most of my good, IRL friends, live in San Diego County. I've travelled back and forth for business, meet with my friends there, meet with them at various business meetings across the U.S. - they are more in line with my thinking and who I am than the people where I'm from and have lived for 36+ plus in NE OH. My friends are my age (40's and above), business entrepreneurs, many of them are Brazilian, some are not. I think that you could stay home on Saturday nights more in a place that you are uncomfortable living at than not. Maybe it's not the place, but us. I think that if you find a place that's in alignment with you and you are happy living there, you will have friends. I wish you the best as you make your decision.

[FunkyMonk]

I lived in SD for 5 years, and YES, San Diegans are rude. In San Diego egos are huge and everyone is trying to be the coolest, the richest, the most beautiful, etc. in a VERY competetive manner. Much more competetive than other cities. This competition creates a vibe where everyone is rude, standoffish and condescending to one another.

Most of all. If you don't wear the right kind of clothes and have the right hairstyle and appearance, people will treat you like crap. Materialism and trendiness are like a mental plague down there. It's all about what car you drive, what clothes you wear, what brand your clothes are, and how you look. WHO you are and what's going on in your head doesn't matter, as long as you have to right look and the right talk. And of course a fat wallet. Yes, it IS that shallow.

Unless you are WEALTHY, I wouldn't suggest moving there because you will struggle to make ends meet. CLASSISM and INEQUALITY run rampant in SD. The rich turn their noses up at the poor and dress in gaudy, expensive outfits just the make the statement "LOOK AT ME, I'M RICH". The poor are angry and desperate, that want money and don't have it, which is creating a new wave of gangs and thugs.

Most of the men in SD are pretentious, arrogant, snooty, pretty boys. Most of the women are barbi dolls, airheads, vain and arrogant.

BUT, there are some cool little parts of SD that have down to Earth people. Little niches here and there.

It depends what you're looking for. If you're a spiritual, intellectual, artistic and kind person who is looking for a friendly community, family-oriented, you probobly won't like SD.

But if you're a partier, a barfly, rich, single. like to flaunt your wealth and body, and live the affluent SoCal life, you'll probobly love SD. You have to have that streak of ego, greed and materialism in you to truely get into what SD has to offer.

For the 5 years I lived in that city I hated it. I felt myself degenerating spiritually because SD is the land of big egos and cheap thrills. But if you have no spirituality in you in the first place, you'll love it!

[Over60]

Where do you live now, FunkyMonk? And for how long?

[starkt]

People here are very friendly as long as you don't cross them or get in their way.

That about sums it up -- and I think this is true of people in general, not just San Diegans.

[Sampaguita]

Originally Posted by starkt

People here are very friendly as long as you don't cross them or get in their way.

That about sums it up -- and I think this is true of people in general, not just San Diegans.

I think that's pretty accurate.

[leighland]

This thread proves that if you are living the single lifestyle in San Diego, you have a REALLY different experience of this town than if you live the family suburban middle-class lifestyle.

[jkoz]

I have met more natives (including husband) here than transplants and most of my friends are S.D. natives. I have not found (at least those that I know) any to be snooty, pretentious clothes horses--in fact, you can't get most of the men here out of shorts, T-shirts and flip-flops year round--most of them don't own a suit. I think most natives are down-to-earth. There are a lot of attractive people here, and there are a lot of very average looking people here. It is true that there seems to be a certain "look" that is considered "good looking", but that is not just here, that's everywhere. As other posters have said, I don't think you can generalize the "typical San Diegan" People here come from all over, and if they didn't, odds are their parents came from somewhere else, but that is also what can make it an interesting place to live. On the whole, most people I have met are down to earth and fairly friendly.

[orionid]

Originally Posted by FunkyMonk

Most of the men in SD are pretentious, arrogant, snooty, pretty boys. Most of the women are barbi dolls, airheads, vain and arrogant.

I'm sorry you had a bad time in SD, but this is an absolutely, unequivocally ignorant statement. That's like me calling you a judgmental, intolerant, unobservant idiot based on this one post alone.

It's true that SD has it's share of what you describe, and the narcissism here bothers me too, but nowhere near MOST people are like this. Even in La Jolla, or Rancho Santa Fe, or Del Mar, MOST people are not like this. Throw in all of the other communities (rich, middle class, and poor) and your statement is ridiculous. I hope no one is making any judgment about SD based on your rant.

SD isn't even the worst for this type of person. Parts of Orange County, New York, SF, and of course LA are much worse. ANYWHERE you have wealth, you will have lots of this type of person.

The main thing about San Diego's general friendliness is what someone else calls "closed garage syndrome". The people in neighborhoods do not go out of their way to socialize. Their garages open, they leave, they come back, their garages close. Lots of people smile at each other but little actual care or conversation. Some people like it this way; others don't.