San Diego: Home of the old parent? (Chula Vista, Vista: real estate, high school) - California (CA) - Page 2 - City-Data Forum

1AngryTaxPayer · 10-29-2009, 06:02 PM

It's a sign of the times. Why have kids when you are kids and struggle to support yourselves and them. Usually when you have kids that young your parents end up with a larger burden than need be both financially and physically. It is a trade off but in areas where it is real expensive (San Diego) it does make sense to have kids when you don't have to struggle. For some that is 20, others it's mid 40s. The ratio of families on assistance almost zeros out when they are older vs teens.

jkoz · 10-29-2009, 08:33 PM

Believe it or not, some of these are GRANDPARENTS. I'm in my late 40s and know several people my age with kindergarten-age grandchildren.

Sometimes, too, adoptive parents are that age by the time they actually go through the lengthy adoption process and adopt--I know some like this.

thepinksquid · 10-29-2009, 09:37 PM

Honestly I don't think we'll consider having kids for at least another 6-7 years, if ever. At that time, I'll be in my early-mid 30s. Just seems as if there's more to be done now, we can be more financially stable later on, and assuming I have another 10-15 possible years of fertility left...why rush? We're not partiers, nor are we "hipster-like" in any sense of the word. We just work a lot.

I suppose that if you're (or your spouse) is career military, the thought might be "why not" when it comes to having kids in your 20s. The income is pretty much guaranteed, and with a housing voucher on top of that, sure. Otherwise, I just think that it's too difficult and there's too many variables to warrant having children when you're not 100% financially stable.

Granted...if one somehow gets pregnant unexpectedly...that's another story.

NYSD1995 · 10-29-2009, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thepinksquid

Honestly I don't think we'll consider having kids for at least another 6-7 years, if ever. At that time, I'll be in my early-mid 30s. Just seems as if there's more to be done now, we can be more financially stable later on, and assuming I have another 15-20 possible years of fertility left...why rush?

I'm not talking early thirties (that's how old we are)... I'm talkin' early-to-mid 40's. That means you are going to be approaching 60 with a teenager in the house!

blockzilla · 10-29-2009, 09:44 PM

I've noticed it too! My wife and I are both 30 and she is pregnant, and when I go with her to all the ultrasound appointments, etc. a good majority of the other women seem like they could be my mom :-)

Agreed on the cost of living and transient nature of the city as being reasons though. We're both career types and most of the friends we've made here are as well, but we're the only ones within probably 5 years of having kids, and not still going out in PB or downtown and getting wasted every weekend. Its part of the reason we're considering moving out of SD at some point, our lifestyle is leaning more towards the family-oriented midwestern lifestyle we grew up with rather than the partying and weather I moved here for in my 20s, and San Diego doesn't seem to offer much of that.

sav858 · 10-29-2009, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blockzilla

Agreed on the cost of living and transient nature of the city as being reasons though. We're both career types and most of the friends we've made here are as well, but we're the only ones within probably 5 years of having kids, and not still going out in PB or downtown and getting wasted every weekend. Its part of the reason we're considering moving out of SD at some point, our lifestyle is leaning more towards the family-oriented midwestern lifestyle we grew up with rather than the partying and weather I moved here for in my 20s, and San Diego doesn't seem to offer much of that.

What part of SD do you live in? I really can't imagine how a place like North County could be even more family friendly. Sometimes I think the region is a little too family friendly/oriented in certain ways. SD is probably the most family-friendly metro compared to LA and SF imo. But yeah it's probably no midwest in comparison.

Encinitan · 10-29-2009, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassberto

I'm not talking early thirties (that's how old we are)... I'm talkin' early-to-mid 40's. That means you are going to be approaching 60 with a teenager in the house!

My wife and I are 41 and 40 and we have a 5 yr old and a 3 year old. I guess for us, we travelled a lot the first five years we were married, bought our first house, just kind of did the married thing. And we both worked full time. We definitely are older than some of the parents of our son's classmates, but it's not like they think we're his grandparents either! I never feel out of place around the other parents, like they can't relate to us or whatever because of our age. I think in general, people are just waiting longer to start families.

windnsea00 · 10-30-2009, 04:34 AM

My father is 68 and my mother is 63. I am 23. I don't invision myself as one having kids but if such a thing were to become a part of my life, it would be at least a decade later.

thepinksquid · 10-30-2009, 04:41 AM

God, my brother and sister in law are in their late thirties, two kids, and still manage to get wasted nearly every weekend.

happymomof4 · 10-30-2009, 06:05 AM

Well, I guess we'll fit right in when we move to North County next summer then! I'm 43, my husband is 45, and our youngest just turned 1. Our oldest is almost 12, however, so I think I sort of straddle the worlds of "youngish mom" and "Granny Mom" depending on which kids I have with me!