Why is it so hard to accept that some people simply don't like San Diego? (Los Angeles: best city, low crime)

[Surfer619]

I have noticed on many threads present and past (especially the past few yeas) on here that if anyone so much as mentions that they want to leave San Diego or they hate it here, they get ripped to shreds (even if they are not making rash exaggerations or generalisations). Even when someone says something as simple as "I don't like it here", people are like "OMG, what is wrong with you?", "What's not to like about this place", "This is the best city on Earth", ect.

Despite the fact that I never complain about this place, I still get questioned by some on here for my decision to leave SD for a city in the deep south, and I have seen others on here get absolutely mauled. Why is that?

[MAK802]

Ha! I know what you mean! I was visiting family in the NY area last week, and it happened to be in the 70s there and only in the low 60s in San Diego. Someone from San Diego mentioned that they feel bad that I'm in the cold and it will get better once I come back home.

All I did was mention that it's actually warmer in NYC than SD (which was a fact last week), and I got ripped to shreds, saying that I should move back if all I'm going to do is complain about the weather in San Diego! I can't imagine what would happen had I really been complaining! I guess they want to believe that even though they are unemployed and about to be homeless, SD is still the place to be!

[Sassberto]

Originally Posted by Surfer619

Despite the fact that I never complain about this place, I still get questioned by some on here for my decision to leave SD for a city in the deep south, and I have seen others on here get absolutely mauled. Why is that?

It's an internet forum, take it for what it is. I wouldn't consider this sampling of posters to be indicative of San Diego at large.

I have mentioned the idea of the "San Diego Fantasy" before. It is basically the belief that San Diego is the Greatest Place in the World. There are other cities - even entire states (California for example) with this type of mythology. We even dare to call ourselves "America's Finest City". This belief is deeply ingrained in our collective consciousness and it is a strong lure that attracted many of us to the area. San Diego is driven by that myth, and any wholesale rejection of it would mean major consequences to our culture, identity, and economy.

However many places do not share the mythology. Few will vehemently defend Tulsa or Philly or Miami or Boston as being "perfect" or "the best". Many residents of those cities will readily acknowledge the faults and even actively complain about them while never considering a move away. Contrast San Diego to Los Angeles, a place where many otherwise happy residents will readily admit that problems of traffic, crime, cost of living, are horrendous. Even NYC, a major fantasy destination, includes within it's myth an allowance for rejecting the city - or the city rejecting you: "If I can make it there I'll make it anywhere", means you might *not* make it.

San Diego doesn't have that same complexity. You are expected to love it unconditionally. To reject the San Diego Fantasy is almost to insult those that believe it, perhaps because there is a bit of doubt deep down for everyone, i.e. "If San Diego isn't the Greatest Place in the World, then what else is it?"

The only city in CA which I believe has residents engaged in a more pervasive fantasy (and a larger level of denial about it's faults) is San Francisco, which seems to be doomed to an inferiority complex about it's standing on the CA and national scale.

[Sambazon]

Originally Posted by Sassberto

It's an internet forum, take it for what it is. I wouldn't consider this sampling of posters to be indicative of San Diego at large.

And I'm glad it's not.... it makes the nice San Diegan folks look bad.

I've also witnessed some of the crucifying that goes on when someone mentions their dissatisfaction for San Diego - as if ripping them a new one would cause someone to reconsider moving.

[Encinitan]

To me, the better question is: Why do people stay somewhere they don't like? Especially when that place is more expensive than average, like So Cal is. Why not move to a place with less financial strain and other qualities you are looking for? Especially when it seems the majority of people on this board aren't native San Diegans. It seems most are from somewhere else, so it's not like you have deep roots here.
That's what I can't understand when certain posters on here complain about the people, the alleged lack of culture, the cost of living, etc. For me, saying "why don't you move?" is not a defense of SD. It's a suggestion for a way for unhappy people to be happy.
I was born and raised in North County. I love living in San Diego. My family is happy here. I frankly could care less about what someone I don't know posting anonymous (and most often really uninformed) crap on this message board thinks. I've lived here for 40 years. I've traveled a lot. I know there are other wonderful cities out there, I'm not some naive child who's never left California. I'm just happy here and I earn enough to live well here.

[Encinitan]

Originally Posted by Sassberto

It's an internet forum, take it for what it is. I wouldn't consider this sampling of posters to be indicative of San Diego at large.

I have mentioned the idea of the "San Diego Fantasy" before. It is basically the belief that San Diego is the Greatest Place in the World. There are other cities - even entire states (California for example) with this type of mythology. We even dare to call ourselves "America's Finest City". This belief is deeply ingrained in our collective consciousness and it is a strong lure that attracted many of us to the area. San Diego is driven by that myth, and any wholesale rejection of it would mean major consequences to our culture, identity, and economy.

However many places do not share the mythology. Few will vehemently defend Tulsa or Philly or Miami or Boston as being "perfect" or "the best". Many residents of those cities will readily acknowledge the faults and even actively complain about them while never considering a move away. Contrast San Diego to Los Angeles, a place where many otherwise happy residents will readily admit that problems of traffic, crime, cost of living, are horrendous. Even NYC, a major fantasy destination, includes within it's myth an allowance for rejecting the city - or the city rejecting you: "If I can make it there I'll make it anywhere", means you might *not* make it.

San Diego doesn't have that same complexity. You are expected to love it unconditionally. To reject the San Diego Fantasy is almost to insult those that believe it, perhaps because there is a bit of doubt deep down for everyone, i.e. "If San Diego isn't the Greatest Place in the World, then what else is it?"

The only city in CA which I believe has residents engaged in a more pervasive fantasy (and a larger level of denial about it's faults) is San Francisco, which seems to be doomed to an inferiority complex about it's standing on the CA and national scale.

Sass, you do reallize the "America's Finest City" slogan was a marketing slogan the city leaders came up with about 30 years ago, right? It's not something San Diego citizens voted on or endorsed as a group. It's not something we necessarily believe. I don't get why you and others constantly use it in some mocking tone, as if those of us who enjoy living here religiously abide by it. It's a marketing slogan. It's advertising puffery. It's kind of like New York isn't really the city that never sleeps. People do sleep there, right? But does anyone mock NYC for calling itself the city that never sleeps? No. Same thing.

[sdlife619]

High cost of living is one major factor, and Sass is correct when he's says locals think we are the greatest city in world, "America's Finest City" Blah blah, blah because after all SD has prefect everything right? From perfect weather, to low crime, to really nice neighborhoods, wealth, beaches, I can go on and on So it's almost criminal to say anything bad about SD, when in reality we have many faults, beyond all the nicety's . If you are wealthy, or high middle class, then you probably think SD is paradise, but the majority of San Diegans are struggling even if it doesn't look like we are. Remember this is California and image is everything.

Even the local media constantly has to remind us how perfect our weather is, and whenever a cloudy day cast over our city, everybody freaks out, complains and stays indoors, it's so lame.

Go ask if the people that live in the worst parts of SD, if San Diego is a nice city? They will have a different perspective and probably give you a different answer. So it can come down to where a person lives in SD County when judging San Diego.

[Surfer619]

Originally Posted by Encinitan

I'm just happy here and I earn enough to live well here.

Good for you, but who the hell cares? You didn't answer the question in any way. Plus, from what I have seen on this forum, you are the first one to attack someone as soon as they say something negative about SD.

By the way, no one here is calling you a "Naive Child" who has never left the state. Where did that come from? The voices in your head?

[Surfer619]

Originally Posted by sdlife619

High cost of living is one major factor, and Sass is correct when he's says locals think we are the greatest city in world, "America's Finest City" Blah blah, blah because after all SD has prefect everything right? From perfect weather, to low crime, to really nice neighborhoods, wealth, beaches, I can go on and on So it's almost criminal to say anything bad about SD, when in reality we have many faults, beyond all the nicety's . If you are wealthy, or high middle class, then you probably think SD is paradise, but the majority of San Diegans are struggling even if it doesn't look like we are. Remember this is California and image is everything.

Even the local media constantly has to remind us how perfect our weather is, and whenever a cloudy day cast over our city, everybody freaks out, complains and stays indoors, it's so lame.

Go ask if the people that live in the worst parts of SD, if San Diego is a nice city? They will have a different perspective and probably give you a different answer. So it can come down to where a person lives in SD County when judging San Diego.

Well said. I couldn't agree more. So many people are so obsessed with image out here that it is sickening.

[Encinitan]

Originally Posted by Surfer619

Good for you, but who the hell cares? You didn't answer the question in any way. Plus, from what I have seen on this forum, you are the first one to attack someone as soon as they say something negative about SD.

By the way, no one here is calling you a "Naive Child" who has never left the state. Where did that come from? The voices in your head?

You appear to be yet another poster on here who likes to post unanswerable questions. There are a few of you, and it's hilarious. "Why do Indian casinos advertise so much." That was a great one a few weeks ago. Now we have the burning question of "why can't we accept that some people simply don't like San Diego." The short answer is, who cares if you like San Diego or not? I don't know you. I can't convince you that SD is a nice place, because for you, given your age, your educational level, your income level, and many other factors, it may never be a nice place. I was just wondering why someone like you and others would stay in a place you are not happy. It's like an abusive relationship, yet you stay. Why? That's all.
I've never said San Diego is perfect. It's not. In fact, I go out of my way to tell people who say they are considering moving here "it's not for everyone." You have set up a debate about something that cannot be proven one way or another.