Is San Francisco a good place for a single bachelor in early 40s? (Berkeley: school, vs.)

[gone down south]

Originally Posted by mayorhaggar

Uh I think that's exaggerating a bit. Guys generally gotta put in some work for a bit to get dates.

Some guys have to put in more work than others.....

[OakAve2OakLand]

Originally Posted by mayorhaggar

Cleveland Heights is just east of Lake Merritt.

The areas I mentioned have a really nice walkable feel but I dunno how great they are for the "single scene"...but they do have tons of bars and restaurants that would be good for a casual date. I'm not really sure that people here are still all that into meat market places where you walk up and try to hit on strangers--people here can be a bit shy. There are clubs but they're mostly in SF.

Good to know. I would prefer to have more casual / neighborhood / affordable places nearby, and then hit up the City on those nights when I want to vamp it up a little. A quick scan of match.com shows that the majority single ladies in the Bay Area seem to live in the City, so I probably won't be able to avoid SF anyway if I want to be active in that scene.

And by Oakland neighborhood "singles scene", what I really mean is not so much if there are clubs or not, but moreso the demographics of the neighborhoods. I'd prefer to be in an area with a decent % of singles (whether I meet them at a bar or in line at the coffee shop is moot)...not stuck in an area that is 90% soccer moms and golf dads, which is mostly what I have now. I am assuming the areas mentioned are not exactly family central and hence have a decent percentage of singles...but please correct if that's wrong.

[OakAve2OakLand]

Originally Posted by jade408

If you are into the low key pickup, that is pretty easy. In a small bar, at an event or something. People tend to meetup while sharing common interests. You'll find people in Oakland are generally really friendly, so if you are subtle you'll have no problems. The good old, chat up your neight at the bar stool, in line at the store etc is effective. The "bay area elbow grab" is not an effective method.

Thanks for the info jade408!

Yeah, subtle / casual is more my thing anyway, so no probs there. I'm not even sure what the "Bay area elbow grab" is, but it sounds scary!

And as I was just responding to mayorhaggar, what I was asking about as far as singles was not as much about clubs in the area, etc...but the demographics of the different neighborhoods. I'm looking to live around other singles, not soccer mom central.

[OakAve2OakLand]

Thanks again to all who have responded...you've been quite helpful in helping me to narrow down my search. I plan a trip out there for a reconnaissance mission at some point in the next 3 to 4 months. I have a few cousins in Southern Cal that are trying to redirect me down there, but I just don't see it happening. I don't think I could handle the zoo that is the LA area...and I'm allergic to plastic.

One last question for now: Despite all the great neighborhood suggestions so far, I'm still intrigued by the Oakland Hills (Montclair / Hiller / Piedmont Pines) since I would love to be close to nature / hiking and I'm a sucker for a good view...BUT I'm thinking maybe not the best place to start out as a newbie in town since it seems (from what I can tell) somewhat isolated and highly populated with families and retirees. My questions being: Is it predominantly families / retirees living in the hills, or might there be some singles there as well? Where do folks living in the Hills typically go to socialize / interact / community events, etc? Montclair business district maybe? If so, does the area have entertainment / bars / music venues at all, or is it mostly Safeways, Starbucks, and Applebees?

TIA!

[mayorhaggar]

SF is largely people in their late 20's to 40's with professional jobs that let them afford to live in SF. There's not that many people with kids (especially non-immigrants) and not too many people in their 50's or older. More suburban areas have more families because school districts are better and it's cheaper to buy a house, but also the East Bay is affordable enough that I think you see more people in their 20's and 30's than in SF because they can get bigger and nicer places to live that they can actually afford--you definitely see more people in their early 20's than in SF. I'd say people in their late 30's and 40's in the East Bay are more likely to have kids--it's common to see here in Rockridge a dad in his 40's with a wife in her mid 30's and they are starting to have kids because only now dad has the time or money to raise a family. In SF people in their 30's and 40's are probably more likely to be single or unmarried and definitely more likely to not have kids.

[jade408]

Originally Posted by OakAvenue_to_Oakland

Thanks for the info jade408!

Yeah, subtle / casual is more my thing anyway, so no probs there. I'm not even sure what the "Bay area elbow grab" is, but it sounds scary!

And as I was just responding to mayorhaggar, what I was asking about as far as singles was not as much about clubs in the area, etc...but the demographics of the different neighborhoods. I'm looking to live around other singles, not soccer mom central.

Rockridge has a lot more families than Adams Point, Grand Lake or Piedmont Ave areas of town (and more houses). You won't be far from nature, or views in many parts of Oakland. In fact, the people who live about a block above me should have partial Bay views easily. It is also pretty close the "nature." I live about 3 blocks from the Rose Garden, and if you were to go about ~ 1.5 miles you should be in the park near Highway 13 (I never remember what it is called!). Generally Oakland is pretty green and there are lots of trees everywhere. There is also Lake Merritt in the middle of town (I live about 1 mile from the Lake). The Lake is about 3 miles around, and the buildings in the area also have views, some 360 views of the Lake, the hills and the Bay.

[Caltovegas]

As long as you make money it doesn't matter were you go when it comes to dating..Call it the Hugh Heffner theory..The rule of thumb is date half your age plus 7 years..So don't go lower than 27 well unless she has a bangin body and of course is of legal age.

[bret09trades]

if you think there is no attractive woman here, you should come up to the hills of ukiah, ca to the old folks place where I work. you wont ever see a good looking face of a lady again as long as your up here. Most activity you will see around the pool is an occasional granny taking a dip, but most of them are too prudish to even wear a one piece swim suit. I was stuck up here having to work the 4th of july weekend. it was the most boring BBQ I have ever been to, amounted to old folks sitting around the umbrella tables reading their bibles. To rub it in my face one of my friends I knew was to attend a party at the playboy mansion that 4th of july weekend and he was bragging all about it the week before. I was too embarrassed to tell him I was going to be up at the old folks place

[Ruth4Truth]

The Bay Area is your best bet. Boulder is full of hippies. It's a college town, alternative lifestyle place.

Originally Posted by NewYorkCityGirl

If you don't like Asian women, San Francisco has virtually no good looking single women. My brothers come to visit and the first thing they notice is how there are no good looking women in SF.

This is ridiculous. Women from all over the Bay Area work in San Francisco, and sometimes stay after work to play. Plus you've got the local city women. San Fran has beautiful women.

Forget Hiller Highlands. You don't want to be living there during a Pacific downpour. It gets very messy, houses can flood. Up in the areas you're talking about is the very expensive areas. Usually older professionals and retirees and families. How about Jack London Square area in Oakland? I've heard it's coming up in the world. The Montclair business district is very tame. It's familyland.

And there's Emeryville, sandwiched between Berkeley and the Bay, right on the Bay. Lots of singles there. Slightly more affordable rents. The Berkeley hills and Kensington (next door to North Berkeley) are beautiful. You can find apartments there on Craigslist. In the Berkeley hills there's a big regional park for hiking, horse riding, etc. Just down the hill are the Gourmet Ghetto restaurants, good places for singles to mix.

[bigdumbgod]

Originally Posted by bret09trades

if you think there is no attractive woman here, you should come up to the hills of ukiah, ca to the old folks place where I work.

Are we really comparing the women of SF to those in a nursing home in the boonies?