Is San Francisco a good place for a single bachelor in early 40s? (Oakland: fit in, apartment)

[applenick]

Hi,

I am early 40 yrs old professional male. I am thinking about relocating to either San Francisco, Boulder CO or Austin TX. I am a super healthy, not a vegetarian but close, moderate politically, slightly left. I enjoy running/trail running, cycling, hiking and kayaking. I run my own technology business and can work really anywhere.

I am attracted like many to the combination of sunshine, tech scene and cosmopolitan nature of SF.

A few questions:

- Will it be easy for me to meet people and fit in? Are there single older male professionals that I can meet for friends, sport activities?

- How about the dating scene with women for someone my age? Any advantage to either place? Or will I be stuck in no man's land between college kids and soccer mom's.

- Any neighborhood suggestions? Or even a surrounding cool small town like Sausalito or Tiburon? How would those places be for someone like me?

Any help is appreciated.
Nick

[Mr. Fantastic]

There's a lot of singles in S.F and Austin. I haven't been in the dating game for a while (I'm married), but I know friends who have found their girlfriends in S.F and they were around your age when they did. So don't give up hope.

Shower, get a somewhat trendy but not douch-esque wardrobe, and relax when you talk to women. I think you'll do fine (maybe).

[BayAreaHillbilly]

Lots of older singles in SF.

[OakAve2OakLand]

1st-time poster here, but I've been lurking, reading and learning for some time now. Thank you to all CDers for all the great info...these forums have been extremely helpful for someone such as myself who is trying to plan major life changes (i.e. a cross-country move) ...an invaluable resource to get the local perspectives before actually making the big move.

To the point...applenick - wow, when I read your original post, I had to do a double-take Your profile, situation, and questions are EXTREMELY close to my own. Even you're top 3 potential choices (Bay Area / Boulder / Austin) were identical to my Top 3..we must have been reading the same articles ;-) I had to nix Austin though because I just can't take the heat and humidity...one of the biggest reasons I'm looking to escape the midwest

Even though this thread is from last year...I figure why create a new thread if I'm essentially wondering the same things. Only 2 reponses so far though...hence the bump.

So, please CD folks...a few more throughtful responses to the OP and myself would be much appreciated. You'll be assisting 2 people at once with your knowledge. Also, applenick - are you still around here? If so...almost a year now since your original query...please share: where did you end up moving and what has been your experience?

I will only differentiate my profile & situation slightly from the OP...I am slightly younger, and of all the possible Bay Area locales, I have focused in on Oakland for various reasons: I enjoy sunny yet cool weather, a "real" city with trees and distinct nieghborhoods, an urban, walkable yet safe community, close to nature / hiking opportunities, open minded / tolerant / progressive mindsets, COL slightly lower than SF, an "underdog" city with a great comeback story to tell, I would LOVE to have a great view of the bay (potential dream home in Piedmont Pines - someday - I'm not a millionaire (yet...lol)...and for other reasons as well, I've determined that Oakland is quite possibly the perfect place for myself (hence the screen name) n.b. Even though I'm oh so close to deciding on Oakland, Denver / Boulder is still in the running, and also has alot going for it.

Before folks feel the need to pile in to inform me about Oakland's rep...please know that I have spent most of my life in so-called "dangerous" midwestern cities (St. Louis and Chicago) so I have street smarts and I know how to avoid the worst areas. I've done quite a bit of research on Oakland nieghborhoods, and I focused in on RockRidge, Upper Rockridge, Temescal or possibly somewhere in the (lower) hills if I can afford it (renting for starters, of course) as a place to land. If any Oaklanders on here have any other thoughts on any other nieghborhoods that could be a good fit for me, please share. Since I will be working from home alot (web-based business, primarily) and new in town (hence, looking to meet cool new people to hang out with), I am hoping to find a lively, interactive neighborhood ...i.e. friendly, where there are community events, opportunities to meet people, etc.

Lastly, while I am extemely tolerant and welcoming of all cultures, ethnicities, orientations, etc...my dating preference tends to be: straight, white/caucasian, professional and/or creative, active/healthy/eco-conscious lifestyle (but not so much looking for a granola, hippie chick), community-involved, and into personal growth (but not really over-the-top new agey either). Anyway, I don't mean to ramble on ...but wanted to give you a solid background of what I'm looking for.

Oh yeah, the timetable for the big move could be by the end of the year, but likely in early 2012...as I have a lot of things I need to wrap up here first, including selling my home .

Any and all input would be very appreciated!!

[mayorhaggar]

Holy wall of text Batman...all I can say is that people here don't settle down in their 20's and 30's like they tend to do in other parts of the US...people in their 40's are still dating if they're single and up for it, and nobody will treat you like plutonium if you're single and/or unmarried. It's expensive to live here so a lot of people aren't financially secure enough to buy a house, get married, have some kids etc until they're in their late 30's and 40's...Making a lot of money helps attract people but that's true anywhere, it's maybe exaggerated a bit here because there's a lot of guys making $$$$ in male-dominated industries like tech, law and banking in the Bay Area.

[OakAve2OakLand]

Thanks for the reply, mayor.

Maybe I should have just started a new thread though, since my question is just as much about finding the right Oakland neighborhood as the SF singles scene...and the thread title doesn't allude to that.

Specifically: Other than Rockridge - which I've read alot about on here - what other Oakland neighborhoods might be decribed as, or at least mostly: "lively, interactive with frequent community events, opportunities to meet people, urban, walkable yet safe community, middle- to upper-middle class, close to nature / hiking". That really boils down what I'm looking for...and I understand I probably won't find that all in one place.

Also, I would love to be in the Oakland Hills to be close to the regional parks for running / hiking / biking etc...but, for a newcomer to town who won't know many people, would the Hills maybe be too isolated or cut off from the more dense, interactive communities closer to downtown? I'm just trying to narrow it down so I can get serious about an apartment / in-law quarters search and budgeting etc...

Thanks!

[mayorhaggar]

Cool Oakland areas other than Rockridge that fit your bill:

- Temescal
- Piedmont Avenue area
- Adam's Point/Grand Lake area
- Cleveland Heights

Those are the main ones I'd start with. Rockridge, the Temescal and Piedmont Ave areas have a lot of shops and restaurants. I'm not too familiar with the Cleveland Heights area but it and the Adam's Point/Grand Lake area are next to Lake Merritt which is a really cool place to go jogging or hang out in, and there's a big strip of shops and restaurants on Grand right north of the lake.

There's other areas you could check out like the Dimond District and Montclair, or cities near Oakland like Alameda, Albany, and Berkeley.

The Oakland Hills are just really residential and up on steep hills and when you need to go shopping you'd have to drive down the hill, I wouldn't call a hilltop area really walkable. Redwood Regional Park is cool though and good for hiking. You can find some decent rental deals up there though considering it's a pretty deluxe area in appearance.

If you do biking, Oakland and Berkeley are great for urban biking. You can ride up in the Oakland/Berkeley hills but you'd have to be really up for steeeep hills to get up there. There's a bunch of trails in the East Bay that range from flat to hilly that are easy to get to on BART though a car opens up your options. Iron Horse Trail is good if you want a really long flat trail but it is a bit boring scenery-wise. The Contra Costa Canal trail is flat too and a bit more scenic though it's mostly through suburban areas. I haven't really tried any other trails but there are several others in the East Bay.

[NewYorkCityGirl]

If you don't like Asian women, San Francisco has virtually no good looking single women. My brothers come to visit and the first thing they notice is how there are no good looking women in SF.

[bayarea-girl]

Isn't just about every place on earth a good place for a single man?

[gone down south]

Originally Posted by bayarea-girl

Isn't just about every place on earth a good place for a single man?

I was going to say.... 40's, single, fit, employed..... You'll be covered in women anywhere in the world....