Bringing a Kid to San Francisco (Oakland, Berkeley: apartment, rental, neighborhoods)

[techsoldaten]

I am going to be moving to San Francisco around the 1st of the year and am bringing my 14 year old daughter. I am looking for recommendations on where to live. We want to live somewhere near the city, but not necessarily in it. It would help to know if there are good public schools in a certain area. I am a single parent, and am looking for something less super-expensive. I will be renting. I just don't really know the neighborhoods or the surrounding cities. Anything that is not family-antagonistic would be good to know about.

[Snort]

It really depends on where you'll be working. You don't want to commute more than you have to. Living close to the job is key in this area. What are you willing to pay for rent and what size apartment/house?

[mayorhaggar]

Yeah you need to figure out your budget and how long you want your commute to be. If we knew that as well as where you'd be commuting to we could help more.

Sounds like you'd want to live in a more suburban area--public schools in the city of SF are not very good for kids that age due to the lottery system. SF is also very dense and urban, and expensive so a lot of parents move to the burbs when their kids get older.

For areas fairly close to SF that have decent public schools, look at Albany, Piedmont, Alameda, Lafayette, Orinda, Moraga, and Walnut Creek. Could also look at the Peninsula but I'm less familar with the suburbs there. Marin has good schools I guess but it's super expensive.

[EastBayDefector]

The entire SF/East Bay area is extremely family-antagonistic.

It is a haven for drug addicts, the homeless, drunken college kids, promiscuous people of all sexualities, but has an especially vocal and aggressive LGBT community who parade down the streets naked and have sex in the streets on any occasion they can. Classy is not a word I would use to describe the area. A young, impressionable 14 year old would not be served well by being exposed to that nasty culture.

[clongirl]

Originally Posted by EastBayDefector

The entire SF/East Bay area is extremely family-antagonistic.

It is a haven for drug addicts, the homeless, drunken college kids, promiscuous people of all sexualities, but has an especially vocal and aggressive LGBT community who parade down the streets naked and have sex in the streets on any occasion they can. Classy is not a word I would use to describe the area. A young, impressionable 14 year old would not be served well by being exposed to that nasty culture.

Oh please. Do you even have children? I do...four and I am very happily living in the East Bay after spending most of my life in the City. You should really consider spending your time doing something more constructive or even find a worthwhile hobby or volunteer opportunity- especially since you claim that life is "infinitely better"..I highly doubt that- you seem pretty miserable.

Anyway to the OP- Us helpful folk need some more information from you- budget, where your job is, what size of a city you're looking for, weather preferences etc. The East Bay is a vast and very diverse region.

[twins4lynn]

There are many good public schools and nice family rental areas on the peninsula...Burlingame, Millbrae, parts of San Mateo, Belmont and San Carlos. Is your daughter still in middle school or in high school? If you are commuting to SF, you might prefer Burlingame or Millbrae for closer transit options.

[nei]

Looking back to when I was 14 years old, I would have been really happy to spend my teenage years in a city like San Francisco rather than the burbs

[uptown_urbanist]

Check out Alameda. There are some relatively affordable options there, it's very family-friendly, and it's convenient to both San Francisco and Oakland. The schools have a good reputation.

[tstieber]

Oooh, I second Alameda! It's sort of an island (not completely, but you have to cross bridges or tunnels to get to it so it feels like one). And being an island, it's got this whole small town mentality you can't get in that area. The main downtown drag has significantly improved its offerings in the past decade, with some cute restaurants, a major historic theater remodel, coffee shops, breakfast places, book stores, and a pretty cool food artisan marketplace. At one end of town is a long, sandy beach (not as nice as going to Santa Cruz or Stinson in my book, but at least the water is warm enough to swim in, and the weather is much nicer more often). There are both older neighborhoods on tree lined streets as well as newer suburban tracts that are also nice. There is one side of the island (forget the name) that has multimillion dollar mansions on the water with SF views, and a golf course. A few pockets of Alameda can be a bit sketchy, but you'll know them when you see them. Totally great small town vibe.

Someone said the "entire SF/East Bay Area is extremely family-antagonistic," a haven for drug addicts, and a place where gay people have sex in the streets. I've lived in the Bay Area almost my entire life, and I grew up in Walnut Creek, which is basically one suburb in a huge sea of family-friendly suburbs. In fact, it was so all-American, nondenominational church-going, middle- and upper-middle class families driving their kids to swim meets and orthodonist appointments in their SUVs, that it was virtually indistinguishable from middle America. Lafayette, Moraga, Orinda, Danville, Alamo, San Ramon, Dublin, Pleasanton, Livermore -- those are all inland suburbs that basically exist for their top-rated schools and sheltered family neighborhoods. You can't even get more family-oriented than those. On the bay side of the hills -- Albany, Berkeley, El Cerrito, Oakland Hills, and such is also very family-oriented, although in a more diverse and liberal environment. You may want to think about what your personal family values are and what you want your kids to grow up in. If you want a more traditionally suburban, even politically and socially conservative environment, then I'd look at the inland suburbs. (As a side note, you'll also enjoy much warmer and sunnier weather there, and you'll feel like you're actually in California). But if you want your kids raised among a more diverse group of kids, in a more urban-adjacent area, with broader exposure to the arts, culture, food, and the City, then I'd stay on the bay side. Both areas are very family-oriented, but with totally (I mean absolutely totally) different mindsets.

However, I have yet to see anyone having sex in the streets anywhere, ever. It's illegal, it's distasteful, and it just doesn't happen. And drug addicts exist only in bad crime-infested urban areas, just like in every city across America, but none of the areas mentioned would qualify as such.

The best thing is to come out here, explore, and research, so that you don't end up a liberal stuck in NRA country, or a conservative stuck in Hippieville.

What you'll find on the whole is that most of the Bay Area is a lot like every area of the country, with the same pros and cons, except with inflated housing prices that reflect a more tech-based job base, the beautiful scenery, the nice weather, and the cultural amenities. You do pay extra for those, because people love to visit and live here.

[EastBayDefector]

Originally Posted by clongirl

you claim that life is "infinitely better"..I highly doubt that- you seem pretty miserable.

On the contrary dear, I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm sorry that you have to raise your children in that awful environment.

Regardless of my disagreements with these Bay Aryans, I would also recommend Alameda as well. It's the best place there in my opinion. If only it wasn't built on a trash dump island that will liquefy when the next big quake hits, it would be a pretty decent place.

Just please understand that you will be paying unwarranted higher prices for a very low quality of environment and life.