Is dating really that bad in San Francisco? (San Diego, Oakland: cliquey, how much)

[MovingToSFO]

I've seen quite a few posts both on here and elsewhere about how "bad" dating is in the Bay Area. Specifically, I'm talking about dating from the perspective of a young, single straight man. A few repeated points I've seen are (in order of importance):
- The high number of tech jobs brings in many more men than women into the Bay Area (although this is more of an issue in Silicon Valley, not SF proper)
- People are flaky / unwilling to bring new people into their social circle
- People are too focused on their careers to want to have a love life

I've seen so many people on the threads complain about how great dating was elsewhere and how awful it is here in comparison, especially compared to NYC.

Is this a real thing, or just anecdotal evidence from a few frustrated people? I find it hard to believe that a young, single, outgoing person of either sex should have trouble finding someone to date in a big city. Am I downplaying the cultural differences between SF and cities in the Northeast like NY and Philadelphia? I'm curious to see what some of the more long-time SF residents have to say about this. I've had a fair amount of success dating in Philly, and reading all of these threads has me slightly worried about how difficult it will be to find dates / a relationship in SF.

[bigdumbgod]

Originally Posted by MovingToSFO

I've seen quite a few posts both on here and elsewhere about how "bad" dating is in the Bay Area.

...from people who aren't very good at it. Take that talk with a massive grain of salt.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by MovingToSFO

I've seen quite a few posts both on here and elsewhere about how "bad" dating is in the Bay Area. Specifically, I'm talking about dating from the perspective of a young, single straight man. A few repeated points I've seen are (in order of importance):
- The high number of tech jobs brings in many more men than women into the Bay Area (although this is more of an issue in Silicon Valley, not SF proper)
- People are flaky / unwilling to bring new people into their social circle
- People are too focused on their careers to want to have a love life

I've seen so many people on the threads complain about how great dating was elsewhere and how awful it is here in comparison, especially compared to NYC.

Is this a real thing, or just anecdotal evidence from a few frustrated people? I find it hard to believe that a young, single, outgoing person of either sex should have trouble finding someone to date in a big city. Am I downplaying the cultural differences between SF and cities in the Northeast like NY and Philadelphia? I'm curious to see what some of the more long-time SF residents have to say about this. I've had a fair amount of success dating in Philly, and reading all of these threads has me slightly worried about how difficult it will be to find dates / a relationship in SF.

Dating here is easier for a single guy than it is in San Diego that's for sure. However, when it comes to dating, the Bay Area really does have to be broken down a bit more. Silicon Valley, SF and Oakland are three different animals when it comes to dating. As BDG said, take a lot of this stuff with a grain of salt.

[bmw335xi]

Dating is good in SF, people who say otherwise probably will have worse luck in other places.

[gone down south]

People who complain about dating on the internet...... you can usually tell why they strike out so much.

[BaskOne]

Dating in San Francisco = Dating people from the surrounding cities (6 Million +) that go INTO SF for fun/work. Can't find a mate out of 7 Million people? The problem is you.

No, next question.

[BayDude]

"People are flaky and cliquey"

In short, yes. Both men and women actually. Its just the culture here. Also rampant provincialism and social cliques. Ignore people who say different. People here get butt hurt when you have negative criticism for the Bay Area.

"Dating is better in general (atleast for men) in NYC/Northeast"

Though I've never been to NYC, Given what I constantly hear from guys and people from there, I'd say yes. Bay Area women can be some of the most entitled, bitchy, demanding and feministic women you will ever come across. People say LA is worse. I call BS.

It cannot be worse given how much better women dress down there.

"Too many techies worsening the male-female ratio"

There are ALOT of techies. And they tend to make things even worse (being mostly nerdy, beta-male types). Women who work for tech companies tend to be product/recruiting/marketing/sales people. Though they are the minority in a tech firm.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by BayDude

"People are flaky and cliquey"

In short, yes. Both men and women actually. Its just the culture here. Also rampant provincialism and social cliques. Ignore people who say different. People here get butt hurt when you have negative criticism for the Bay Area.

"Dating is better in general (atleast for men) in NYC/Northeast"

Though I've never been to NYC, Given what I constantly hear from guys and people from there, I'd say yes. Bay Area women can be some of the most entitled, bitchy, demanding and feministic women you will ever come across. People say LA is worse. I call BS.

It cannot be worse given how much better women dress down there.

"Too many techies worsening the male-female ratio"

There are ALOT of techies. And they tend to make things even worse (being mostly nerdy, beta-male types). Women who work for tech companies tend to be product/recruiting/marketing/sales people. Though they are the minority in a tech firm.

Well I can't comment on the northeast as I've never lived there but have heard similar things from other guys. However as I said earlier, dating can be worse than it is in the Bay Area. I've lived in such an area despite having found my current girlfriend there. See what I did was simply change the way I did things. One must be adaptable even if they may not like where they are.

[majoun]

Originally Posted by BayDude

[
Though I've never been to NYC, Given what I constantly hear from guys and people from there, I'd say yes. Bay Area women can be some of the most entitled, bitchy, demanding and feministic women you will ever come across. People say LA is worse.

Having lived in LA and the Bay Area, LA women are everything wrong with women in the bay area times 100 - even more entitled, bitchy, demanding, and feministic.

I don't think it's possible for women to be worse anywhere in the world than they are in LA. That is truly dating hell.

[BayDude]

^ Well atleast LA women dress better. That's more than I can say for BA women. They don't even make the effort.