Why are the women in SF so unfriendly? (San Diego, San Jose: rent, high school)
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I just had to reopen this thread. I couldn't help it.
Here's an observation: native gals are generally friendlier than transplant gals. My experience, anyway. Takes on this? If you can meet a tried-and-true California native who grew up in a working- or middle-class home--and NOT Hillsborough, Burlingame and the like--then you might be in business. Initially, transplants like myself can be much friendlier and easier to talk to. But, concerning dating/interest, the women I've met here since I posted on this thread last that have expressed the most interest have, in fact, been California natives, so go figure.
Here's another observation: I just got back from a week in the Lexington, KY area (my hometown) and met more friendly women there in a week than I have in the Bay Area in a year. Sure, a small Southern city compared to a huge West Coast metropolis isn't a fair comparison. But, you can cut the surliness of Bay Area women with a knife. Lexington women are just as attractive, if not more so, without all the pretense (however, they're generally not as intelligent or worldly as Bay women). What's more: Lexington girls can actually be some of the snobbiest in the South, so that gives you an idea of how stepped up it is here in the Bay Area.
Last edited by EclecticEars; 01-27-2013 at 07:19 AM..
I grew up in the Bay Area and have always found a large number of the men here to be lying, skeevy PLAYERS and that makes women bitter and distrustful early on. I went to college in the Midwest and found the nicest, most trustworthy men I've ever met there, who treated women as ladies and were interested in getting married and starting families. When treated that way, with respectful interest, all my bitterness disappeared and I became very warm and friendly. If women here are cold to you, they've probably just been treated badly by men in this area, and if you treat them nicely and give them time to learn to trust you, they'll warm up--trust me.
If you were a Bay Area woman and had the dating horror stories most of us have from our past, you'd be cold and distrustful too, when meeting any new man. But that doesn't mean they won't warm up if you give them time and treat them well.
This, sadly, may speak volumes, Susan. And yes, as a man, I agree that way too many men are just plain jerks.
I just had to reopen this thread. I couldn't help it.
Here's an observation: native gals are generally friendlier than transplant gals. My experience, anyway. Takes on this? If you can meet a tried-and-true California native who grew up in a working- or middle-class home--and NOT Hillsborough, Burlingame and the like--then you might be in business. Initially, transplants like myself can be much friendlier and easier to talk to. But, concerning dating/interest, the women I've met here since I posted on this thread last that have expressed the most interest have, in fact, been California natives, so go figure.
As I'm a California native, I'm going to say that you're probably right. When I moved to San Francisco years ago from L.A., my dating life was active. Heterosexual Bay Area men aren't shy and they're not in short supply no matter what people claim. If I'm single and a man approaches me, and he doesn't strike me as creepy, I'll be friendly.
However, I do think the same phenomenon that we're talking about over in this thread, How do I meet people in this town?, regarding meeting people also happens when it comes to meeting people of the opposite sex. I'd think the similar tactics could work too if someone is having trouble just meeting people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EclecticEars
This, sadly, may speak volumes, Susan. And yes, as a man, I agree that way too many men are just plain jerks.
Players exist though. (Sort of like death and taxes.)
When I read Susan's post, I was thinking "after two years in NYC, I can handle the Bay Area player by just moving on when I figure out a guy is one". Before I met my current boyfriend I dealt with a couple of guys like that. For me, their game was pretty weak. The game players here have nothing on their brethren in the Big Apple.
However, there are nice guys there too as a lot of my female friends I left behind have steady boyfriends, are engaged, and are married too. But I know a few men in NYC who are class-A players too: almost always with a girl or trying to get one and almost always a game. Every dating market has its share of male and female jerks. You just have to keep your wits about you and sort through the b.s.
Ok listen guys. If your looking for a relationship just carry yourself as a no BS type person. Be on your agenda and a woman of quality will seek you out. Now as far as looks go just remember looks don't last forever and there's always someone younger and better looking coming up behind everyone. In all things just be you.
I recently went down to L.A. And immediately noticed how much nicer the women are compared to S.F. and the general bay area. They are also far more attractive on average. It doesn't make any sense, shouldn't it be the other way around?
Notice the OP isn't talking about SF exclusively, but the whole Bay Area. So any theories about SF being super-expensive and therefore everyone must be a snob don't apply across the board.
I know guys who have moved to the Bay Area from LA, because the women in the Bay are friendlier, and less materialistic. I find everyone around the Bay to be pretty friendly. So I don't know what y'all are talking about.
There are more desperate wannabe actresses and models in LA, if that makes a difference?
They tend to be limited to the west side, plus other coastal areas like Santa Monica, Palos Verdes Peninsula and Malibu, and even Glendale, Burbank and Sherman Oaks to an extent. So, a huge chunk of real estate, but not even one quarter of the L.A. region. The region also includes places like Ventura, the I.E., north O.C., and some old working-class communities in the San Gabriel Valley that don't seem to have that crap. Similar manifestations of this attitude can be seen in south O.C. and south Ventura Co. (although some will disagree) in some of their upper-crust communities.
Of course, San Francisco, Berkeley, the "hip" parts of Oakland, and parts of Marin and Peninsula have the whole enviro-MENTAL, sanctimonious, better-educated-than-you, even-Bill-Clinton-is-extremely-right-wing attitude that is not real liberalism. It is fervent, religious left-"wingism," as I call it. It's rapidly spreading throughout the Bay Area, too.
Same levels of narcissism, but different manifestations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Notice the OP isn't talking about SF exclusively, but the whole Bay Area. So any theories about SF being super-expensive and therefore everyone must be a snob don't apply across the board.
I know guys who have moved to the Bay Area from LA, because the women in the Bay are friendlier, and less materialistic. I find everyone around the Bay to be pretty friendly. So I don't know what y'all are talking about.
"SF" is just the blanket term for the Bay Area, yes.
When I live in SoCal, I'll have a basis for comparison about which area, or parts of each area, have friendlier/cooler/awesom-er women.
"Damn these b***hy Bay Area girls are starting young! How do they learn to act like that?!" I pity my son when he starts dating, but then again we probably will have moved out of the Bay Area by then anyways.
Not that hard to tell. Start with the Adam's apple.
Women also have Adam's apples, they're just less noticeable. I'd say the voice is more of a sign.
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When I moved to San Francisco years ago from L.A., my dating life was active. Heterosexual Bay Area men aren't shy and they're not in short supply no matter what people claim. If I'm single and a man approaches me, and he doesn't strike me as creepy, I'll be friendly.
