Why are the women in SF so unfriendly? (San Francisco: employment, to live)

[LexusNexus]

Originally Posted by BayDude

I recently went down to L.A. And immediately noticed how much nicer the women are compared to S.F. and the general bay area. They are also far more attractive on average. It doesn't make any sense, shouldn't it be the other way around?

I then noticed a yelp thread talking about pretty much the same thing.

Reasons why you have LA | San Francisco | Yelp

Just an observation.

1) Maybe LA has a male to female ratio which makes men a scarcity. Women outnumber the men to such a degree that they tend not to run into so many jerks and might be more receptive as a result. LA is far more wide open.

2) SF may have a male to female ratio which makes women a scarcity. Men outnumber the women because of the technical focus here, to such a degree that women are constantly getting hit on by losers who are uninteresting, have that stupid cornball humor, are geeks, nerds, hicks, or farmer johns, have that unwashed Johnny Depp look, and are dressed like slobs.

Frankly, I have found the opposite to be true. Women are very friendly in SF. Guess it depends on who you are, how you present yourself, what you're about, and what circles you run in.

[beb0p]

Originally Posted by Radio Flyer

Maybe they were casing the joint.

If that's the case they would have asked to see the inside of my house instead of just the garage, and you know damn well I'd have let them in!

But if ever my box of motor oil gone missing I guess I know who did it!
.

[mstnghu2]

I have to agree with some of the posters here on this board that many women in the Bay Area tend to be unfriendly. Actually, it's not necessarily unfriendly but more of a pretentious/aloof/size everybody up type of vibe. There ARE plenty of women who are nice and aren't like this, but I have found that quite a few Bay Area girls think their s**t doesn't stink. These are women who in many parts of the country (even other parts of CA) would maybe be a 6 or a 7, but they think they are a 10+. I've dated lots of girls from all sorts of places around the Bay Area and found it very hard to find a quality girl.

I'm so glad I'm married now and am away from the dating scene!

On a side note, it's funny this topic is being brought up this week because it reminds me of something that happened with my wife and 13 month old son the other day. My wife took him to try out Gymboree and he's at a phase right now where he's hyper-friendly and goes around waving at everybody and saying HI. He walked over and waved and smiled at a little girl who was probably about four 4 years old and she gave him a nasty look. My wife said "He's trying to say HI to you honey!". The girl looked at my wife and said "soooo, I don't care!"....The first thing that popped in my head when my wife told me this story was "Damn these b***hy Bay Area girls are starting young! How do they learn to act like that?!" I pity my son when he starts dating, but then again we probably will have moved out of the Bay Area by then anyways.

[jade408]

Originally Posted by mstnghu2

On a side note, it's funny this topic is being brought up this week because it reminds me of something that happened with my wife and 13 month old son the other day. My wife took him to try out Gymboree and he's at a phase right now where he's hyper-friendly and goes around waving at everybody and saying HI. He walked over and waved and smiled at a little girl who was probably about four 4 years old and she gave him a nasty look. My wife said "He's trying to say HI to you honey!". The girl looked at my wife and said "soooo, I don't care!"....The first thing that popped in my head when my wife told me this story was "Damn these b***hy Bay Area girls are starting young! How do they learn to act like that?!" I pity my son when he starts dating, but then again we probably will have moved out of the Bay Area by then anyways.

Kids are funny. I remember being out with my sister, and we saw a really cute little girl with curly hair and dimples. We were pretty far away. We waved at her and then whispered "she is super cute!"

It was like she heard us! She waved back and started posing and preening. Like she was thinking "DUH! Of course I am cute!"

[rah]

Hey look another thread where all the people who have had bad luck with girls in SF and/or have a chip on their shoulder regarding SF can pretend that all women in SF are stuck up and/or ugly! That's the same level of absurdity as claiming that the women in LA are superficial valley girls with fake boobs.

I've run into more uptight douches in LA than anywhere else I've been. Do i now think LA is extra uptight and full of douches because of that? No, because I realize that I have not met even close to everyone in LA. None of you know every woman in SF on a personal basis, or even 1% of them...therefore your claims are just that: claims. Anecdotes do not equal proof:

Anecdotal evidence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"Anecdotal evidence is considered the least certain type of scientific information.[10] Researchers may use anecdotal evidence for suggesting new hypotheses, but never as validating evidence."

Anecdotal accounts are even less valuable when it comes to topics as subjective as:

"that person is nice/mean!"
"that person is attractive/ugly!"

And certain people just love to hate on SF for various reasons, and this is one more thing for them to latch on to. People often see what they want to see, and if they want to see SF in a negative light, they will, in whatever ways they can.

And my personal experience with women in SF is the opposite from what all you whiners are claiming, as are the experiences of most people that I know. Oh no! Conflicting anecdotes!!! What do we do????

Originally Posted by A_Lexus

Frankly, I have found the opposite to be true. Women are very friendly in SF. Guess it depends on who you are, how you present yourself, what you're about, and what circles you run in.

This about sums it up, IMO.

[clongirl]

We're all unfriendly because we're all lesbians. I thought all you stupid men knew that already.

[rah]

Originally Posted by clongirl

We're all unfriendly because we're all lesbians. I thought all you stupid men knew that already.

Yeah that's one of the reasons, of course. Even I am a man-hating lesbian. I cry whenever I look in the mirror, and then I punch myself.

[EclecticEars]

Originally Posted by rah

Anecdotes do not equal proof:

Anecdotal evidence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Anecdotal evidence do not necessarily equal proof. However, condescension does. And you're condescending.

And my personal experience with women in SF is the opposite from what all you whiners are claiming, as are the experiences of most people that I know. Oh no! Conflicting anecdotes!!! What do we do????

...because most of the women I have met are like you. That's why your "personal experience with women in SF is the opposite from what all [of 'us'] whiners are claiming."

I miss my Southern women sometimes. Strong-willed, open-minded, yet very personable. They're also libertarian/live-and-let-live and not arrogantly progressive like Bay Area chicks. They also sugarcoat things much less than people on the coasts think they do, they're just generally more approachable and kind. In other words, also more socially intelligent.

[bigdumbgod]

Maybe some are being fooled by trannies? That could be most upsetting!

[clongirl]

I actually think Jade has it right. Women there tend to be very image focused. It's a big part of the culture there. I had a good friend who had to move to LA with her husband (who is in the film industry). I grew up with both of them- middle class families, middle class neighborhood, just regular type folk. She moved to LA and began obsessing about her body and they way she looked. She became very insecure of her looks and jealous of any female that came anywhere near her husband. After living there for 8 years or so she figured out that most of the women (particularly in actresses) were always looking for a step up or the next thing to be discovered on the street or by someone in the industry. There was a reason for them to keep up their appearances because the culture is so heavily influenced by the film industry/media/television. She ended up getting boob job, tummy tuck, etc. just to feel like she could measure up (even though she was pretty to begin with).

I've read on the forums a lot by certain types of "man-boys" that similarly say that the women in NYC are more beautiful, better dressed etc. Of course,--the fashion and modeling industries are centered there. If you are used to seeing thin, 6 ft tall, models trying to be discovered and stand out in the crowd wherever you go, you will certainly be more attuned to this.

Similarly, you may discover that the majority of women in/around the Bay Area are highly educated and well spoken...the region attracts and rewards bright,classy, smart women...not bimbos and wannabe starlets. That "man-boy" image just isn't that attractive or interesting to smart women--why be overtly friendly to men that are sleezy, uninteresting, boring, or juvenile.