Why do people look at you like you're crazy when you say "hello"? (San Diego: condo, houses)
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Please enlighten me on the Lamorinda ethos. I have close relatives who lived there all their lives, and two of my cousins still live there. Neither of them are part of the coffee culture, btw, so Peet's and Starbux are irrelevant to their lives. I never noticed anything unusual out there, but please do tell me "the half of it". I'm all ears.
It would take a 200 page book, at the very least.
I almost put that ^^^^^ in my previous post. I also thought about mentioning that the official story about what led to the Kirsten Costas murder didn't surprise me, and the same re the Felix Polk murder. For the sake of brevity and to put more emphasis on what I did write, I left these points out of my previous post.
The Starbucks/Peet's thing is a very small example that is at least somewhat universally relatable.
Another very small example that I find humorous (perhaps because I live in Texas, and also others might not find it humorous at all) is the whole thing about trying to ban leaf blowers. Do a YouTube search for 'leaf blower ban Orinda' and watch the few videos that come up (and specifically the personalities/personas/whatever term one wants to use....of the people in the videos) that are specifically related to that search. I did that at one point just chuckled and shook my head.
Another very small and less modern example...think the attitude of Joel's parents in the movie Risky Business (Joel is the name of Tom Cruise's character).
All of the above really only scratch the surface and don't really deal with what amount to complicated social mores that the OP is eluding to.
A SLIGHTLY better example that deals with the more palatable and humorous aspects of these social mores, although set in CT, is the relationship between Lorelai and her parents, and also Rory and her grandparents, on the TV show the Gilmore Girls...although those examples might also be equal parts Piedmont and Hillsborough, with a bit of Old Pasadena/San Marino thrown in....say 30/30/30/10.
The members of at least one household in my family (7 households, IIRC, at one point or another) have lived in Lamorinda since 1956/1957, and the first household was in the mid 1940s (they later moved back to Piedmont before 1956).
Interestingly this was my exact experience in socal! I thought people in the bay area were a bit nicer, since in socal you get dirty looks or the "shifty eyes" "move away from the undesirables" if you tried to say hello or strike up a conversation. Even in meetups people weren't interested in new friends unless there was something they could gain by being nice to you. However...when I would go up to Sacramento / Gold Country I found the exact opposite, people would talk to me and I had actual conversations with people at wine bars / in a random thrift store / going through little small gold country towns. So I think it must be related to the part of CA.
Amazing when we all hear about how a smile or even a hello will cost you nothing. In reality, something as relatively harmless as a smile can have a whole lot of meanings. The response depends on the recipient and how they perceive it through their own scope of experience. Some people are so caught up in their work and home life, there is little attention given to something unconnected to themselves. Then for some others, a random "hello" can bring some cheer to their day. Whatever way we look at it, all of us have a natural defense mechanism designed to signal a threat and then our confidence in the situation dictates the rest.
I almost put that ^^^^^ in my previous post. I also thought about mentioning that the official story about what led to the Kirsten Costas murder didn't surprise me, and the same re the Felix Polk murder. For the sake of brevity and to put more emphasis on what I did write, I left these points out of my previous post.
The Starbucks/Peet's thing is a very small example that is at least somewhat universally relatable.
Another very small example that I find humorous (perhaps because I live in Texas, and also others might not find it humorous at all) is the whole thing about trying to ban leaf blowers. Do a YouTube search for 'leaf blower ban Orinda' and watch the few videos that come up (and specifically the personalities/personas/whatever term one wants to use....of the people in the videos) that are specifically related to that search. I did that at one point just chuckled and shook my head.
Another very small and less modern example...think the attitude of Joel's parents in the movie Risky Business (Joel is the name of Tom Cruise's character).
All of the above really only scratch the surface and don't really deal with what amount to complicated social mores that the OP is eluding to.
A SLIGHTLY better example that deals with the more palatable and humorous aspects of these social mores, although set in CT, is the relationship between Lorelai and her parents, and also Rory and her grandparents, on the TV show the Gilmore Girls...although those examples might also be equal parts Piedmont and Hillsborough, with a bit of Old Pasadena/San Marino thrown in....say 30/30/30/10.
The members of at least one household in my family (7 households, IIRC, at one point or another) have lived in Lamorinda since 1956/1957, and the first household was in the mid 1940s (they later moved back to Piedmont before 1956).
For the record, I hate leaf blowers, whatever that means. I'm not understanding your cultural references at all. I've never seen Risky Business, so please explain. I don't know what the significance is of Peet's vs. Starbucks. And btw, the OP isn't "eluding" anything, as far as I can tell. He may be "alluding to" something, but I wish you'd just spit it out, so I can understand what you're getting at. The Gilmore Girls I get, but I don't understand how that applies to Orinda/Lafayette and what you're trying to say. I can't begin to address whatever your point is until you explain it.
I don't know what any of this has to do with people saying "hello" or feeling uncomfortable with strangers saying "hello". Others, including a Lamorinda resident, have pointed out that it's pretty normal to say "hello" or chat with people, so if you disagree, it would be helpful if you could explain your POV (whatever it is) in plain language, instead of code, so we can discuss.
I don't get the Peet's vs. Starbucks comments at all. Are Peet's customers supposed to be more stuck up or something? While I like Peet's better than Starbucks, I don't drink their coffee religiously or anything...
I've lived in various parts of California and am a native of the south state. I found that people in the north half of the state were more reserved but not necessarily unfriendly. The exception is SF although back in the 80s and early 90s wasn't as cliquish and unfriendly as is true now. Often wondered how nice a city it could be if it weren't for many of its citizens. I now live near Sacramento and frequent the nearby foothill towns. People are definitely friendlier than the Bay Area as a whole.
Thanks, I know the history of Peet's. I like the atmosphere in their stores, compared to S'bux, which comes across as very sterile, but Peet's never has many, if any at all, tables for customers to sit at. Though they sell tea, and tea pots and other cool stuff, which is why I like to hang out there.
Your explanation tells me nothing about what the OP is getting at, though, in dividing California between Starbux vs. Peet's customers. I still don't know what it's supposed to imply about personalities, or personal politics, or whatever he's trying to say.
For the record, I hate leaf blowers, whatever that means. I'm not understanding your cultural references at all. I've never seen Risky Business, so please explain. I don't know what the significance is of Peet's vs. Starbucks. And btw, the OP isn't "eluding" anything, as far as I can tell. He may be "alluding to" something, but I wish you'd just spit it out, so I can understand what you're getting at. The Gilmore Girls I get, but I don't understand how that applies to Orinda/Lafayette and what you're trying to say. I can't begin to address whatever your point is until you explain it.
I don't know what any of this has to do with people saying "hello" or feeling uncomfortable with strangers saying "hello". Others, including a Lamorinda resident, have pointed out that it's pretty normal to say "hello" or chat with people, so if you disagree, it would be helpful if you could explain your POV (whatever it is) in plain language, instead of code, so we can discuss.
In my post that you originally asked for the explanation for I was responding to the content of THAT PARTICULAR post, not specifically the thread title. I may be wrong, but I think if he was ONLY referring to smiling, I don't think he would have phrased his post in the manner he did.
The Peet's/Starbucks thing....Everyone in my family that I can think of....doesn't matter, either one is fine. However, nearly all of us know people who are 'Peet's people', who think Starbucks is for the hoi polloi, people they deem to have no taste, no sense of discernment. Those 'Peet's people' would only darken the door of a Starbucks if a Starbucks = the only option, or might decide to 'suffer' and still avoid the Starbucks. I had barely started this explanation to the aforementioned (earlier in the thread) Starbucks barista in Texas (Peet's only exists in Texas (physically) in airports, which not everyone utilizes) when I didn't need to explain any further...he told me had had just spent the summer living with his uncle in Orinda, and that his uncle is one of those 'Peet's people'.
Tom Cruise had previously had roles in Taps and Losin' it, but Risky Business is usually credited as the vehicle that made him a star. It takes place in one of the North Shore suburbs of Chicago which, IMO (I've spent time there) and in the opinion of relatives in two different households who have lived there, share a fair number of traits with some affluent suburbs in the Bay Area. Joel is the name of the character played by Tom Cruise. Joel's parents go out of town. Joel and his friends get into trouble. Joel ends up needing money before his parents return because he owes Guido the Killer Pimp money (and Guido is exerting pressure), and he needs pay the restoration bill for his dad's Porsche 928 that ended up in a lake. They decide on a plan....throw a party at Joel's house where his teenage peers can gain experience with 'Guido's Girls'....Joel could make enough to pay for the Porsche repair, and allow Guido to make money and forgive Joel's debt. Joel's mother is obsessed with a crystal ornament that sits on the ledge of their fireplace mantel. IIRC, Guido steals the ornament to hold as collateral for the money Joel owes him. They throw the party, and it is a huge success. However, Joel has applied to Princeton and the representative from Princeton shows up at the party to interview him. The rep from Princeton ends up spending time with 'Guido's Girls'. Joel figures he has lost any chance of getting accepted to Princeton. They clean up after the party. Guido gives the crystal ornament back to Joel, and forgives his debt. Joel ends up making enough to pay the Porsche repair bill, and the Porsche is repaired on time. Joel picks his parents up at the airport. Joel is paranoid that his parents are going to notice something out of place and, as some people in Texas say 'pitch a fit'. IIRC, Joel's mother notices something wrong with the crystal ornament and scolds him. What is funnier though, is the behavior of Joel's dad. His dad remembers where he left every single setting on all of his audio equipment. The dad knows that someone has touched the audio equipment because the bass setting is higher than where it was set before they went out of town. Joel's dad scolds him...'Joel, Joel, the preponderance of the bass...you know you are not to touch my audio equipment when we are away'. IIRC, the film ends with Joel's dad reading a line from a letter he is holding while patting Joel on the back. IIRC, the line from the letter is 'Princeton can use a man like Joel'.
Part of the point of the film, and part of the root of the humor, is that these parents (who are portrayed as typical within the community) are picky and persnickety to the point of being absurd.
IMO, the drive for a ban on leaf blowers in Orinda is a 'similar snapshot' relative to the portrayal of Joel's parents. When I watched the 'leaf blower ban Orinda' videos on YouTube, many of the people interviewed reminded me of Joel's parents and also, IMO, represent a certain pulse of Lamorinda that I have seen first hand for decades. All of my family members in my generation who also grew up in Lamorinda (multiple households) all feel this way, all have a very similar cultural understanding, notice many of the same nuances, etc......and we can laugh about it....and can catch each other when we notice behavior (within our group) that should be discarded.
As I stated in a previous post, to explain 'you don't know the half of it' would take the length of a book....hundreds of pages. That isn't a book I'm going to write. IMO, it isn't a book that should be written.
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