Single guylooking to have some fun

[tkindred]

Originally Posted by charliem

I think there's truth in most of what you've said. I've heard from a lot of single people of both genders, gay or straight that dating in SF is tougher than any other place they've been. In our discussions, I've boiled it down:

* Since the cost of living is so high, the level of education required to live here is high as well. Which attracts smart/nerdy people. Who didn't get out/party much in high school/college. So they don't have the dating/meeting people skills as much as someone who spent less time in the books and more time trying to hook up with others. So they tend to be shy/insecure/awkward and mask it with either a snobby 'leave me alone' or a 'I'm such a happy person!' attitude, neither of which accurately represents the persons true personality, and since they live in the city, they have to put up some kind of front. In addition, I've talked with a few women that have said that men in SF need to 'step it up, and get more aggressive'. The men that I've talked to would rather have the women pursue them, since gender roles have changed since people have graduated from high school. Put those two together and men won't approach women and women won't approach men.

* People work demanding hours to afford their expensive places to live, so their social network is constrained to the people they work with. I've seen more office romances here than anywhere.

* The social scene is very cliquish, so people do not mingle unless the people are within their social scene (e.g. Hipsters, Hippies, Potheads, Freaks, Europeans, etc.).

* People assume things about others based on superficial or outward qualities. Women have commented that they assumed me and a guy friend were gay because we were sitting at a bar having a drink together. The sexual identity question lingers over everyone's mind, so no one approaches anyone for fear that they might have incompatible sexual identities. In general if you are in decent shape, women will assume that you are gay. Where you hangout in the city can determine if you are straight/gay.


* This is a city and cities are full of strangers, not all of the strangers are nice people. So people in general put up an invisible wall to keep people they don't know away. Additionally, this is also a city where everyone wants something from you be it either money, attention, your time, etc. After a while you get truly sick and tired of people bothering you, so you start ignoring people/putting up shields to keep them away. Shields are not conducive to meeting/getting to know people. Live here for 1 month, and walk down Powell street from Sutter street to the Powell BART station and count how many times people approach you and want something from you.


Everything I wrote could be wrong, but it is what I've observed.

Oh, to add to another thing you addressed. I do second guess the sexual preference of women here all the time. Especially when you see two together. You look for signs. Sometimes you just give up. There are a lot of gay women here. Things are blurred in SF.

[norcalmom101]

SF is the place to be, if you want culture. There are plenty of single women in and around SF. Also, if you mean restaurant service, you'll have plenty of options. SF is by far the most romantic and diverse city.