Moving to SF with kids - cons? (San Jose, San Francisco: real estate, rent)

[p&c]

I've been looking for recent info on raising a family in SF because we're considering relocation. We have three kids, ages 11 months, 3 years, and 5 years. Our five year old is in Kindergarten. It does seem like there is a lot to do and that it would be a really pleasant and interesting place to raise the kids. I found this one recent post:

I Heart San Francisco « ParentZing!

And it does sound great - one weekend the mountains, the next the beach. Cool places to take the kids, the lifestyle.

But what are the drawbacks, aside from being expensive? Schools are probably an issue. What else? Safety? There have got to be major cons, and we want to know before we make any final decisions.

[sonarrat]

The schools are actually quite good. There is a lottery system, but in practice most parents get their kids enrolled in their first choice school. The downside is that space is at a premium, so your kids or those of others may drive you nuts, and the city itself isn't the most family-friendly of places. Neighborhood does make a difference, though. Merced Manor, West Portal, Twin Peaks and the Sunset are more kid-friendly than the high-density, single oriented areas like the Mission, South Beach, Nob Hill, or Hayes Valley. For every family that settles in Burlingame, there are probably five that choose the City, just because it's so much bigger and has so much more to offer.

[hsw]

In SF region, cost no object, those w/o kids often prefer to reside in SF's PacificHts or PresidioHts (largely b/c restaurants suck in suburbs)....those w/kids often prefer to live in suburbs just West of PaloAlto.....Woodside, LosAltosHills, etc

PacHts vs Peninsula suburbs....

SF's socialist ethos can be annoying; many in SiliconValley have a deep aversion vs ethos of City of SF
Intellectual and economic epicenter of SF region is largely based around PaloAlto, not SF
More land around one's home (many homes in the various Peninsula suburbs are on >2acre lots)
More capable local private schools (aside from PaloAlto, the public schools are weak)
Warmer, sunny weather (LA Westside-like weather)
Easier access to competent grocery stores, shopping, healthcare, conservation lands, etc

[esmith143]

You'll have to realize that it's impossible to buy a house in San Francisco or anywhere else within 30 minutes of Silicon Valley on a single salary, unless your husband is an executive officer of a big company. (The only ones you'll see in your price range are located in areas with bad schools) But, who needs to buy when you can rent a 1.3 mil house for $2900/month?

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/apa/927998381.html (broken link)

[bayarea-girl]

Where are you moving from? I just moved from there because I have kids. The cost of living is just ridiculous. The beach you can't go into unless it is the summer time. There isn't sunshine all year round in the Bay. So when you go to the beach you rarely find people in the water, at the beach yes in the water NO.

SF is just beautiful to see. Depending on where you end up crime isn't really a factor. Public schools in the Bay, hmmm you have to be really careful about it really depends on where you plan on living. Drugs and homelessness are the biggest issues I had in the Bay. If you are thinking about a burb I would strongly suggest Orinda, Lafayette, Walnut Creek, and any where in Marin (Berkeley & Alameda might be ok too). In the burbs you see more people with families than you do in SF. In SF you are most likely to see more single people and their pets tend to be their kids.

The vibe is really relaxed which is really nice. People are nice. It is easier to find a job in SF than any other part of the country right now. The Mayor is a rock star (he is a great Mayor). There are a lot of non-profits and hippish people every where. There is a huge Asian presence. I'm sure others will have more to add.

Good luck!

[p&c]

We're coming from Chicago. We really were hoping to be right in the city but maybe we need to explore outwards. We are used to being able to walk lots of places and we were hoping to be able to find a similar lifestyle. We don't want to have to get in the car to do basic stuff. Husband's job offer is right in the city and I telecommute. Our neighborhood now is family friendly even though it is in the city. We like it (but hate the cold) and have been here 10 years and it seemed like the SF opportunity might be a good one, although it is a big move. If we didn't have kids it would be less of an issue, but obviously we want to make sure the environment will be a good one for them, as well. Every time we mention the possibility of moving there to others we get the "you're so lucky!" response and then we start wondering, can it really be as good as everyone says/thinks? Or are we being paranoid?

[Jonotastic]

I know the San Francisco area very well, so hopefully I can help you out. The public schools are in bad shape and the private schools are expensive, which would be in my opinion concern or con #1. San Francisco has its "ghetto" areas where an adult needs to be aware of his or her surroundings yet alone a child. Some parts have more homeless and crack bums than normal people (Tenderloin). In San Francisco, if you have money, if you can afford the nicer districts, it can be a great experience, but if you cannot, raising a family in the city is a bad idea.

Palo Alto etc are quite a drive away from San Francisco and commuting can be a pain, just keep that in mind if you are thinking about that. If you were to commute, I'd look into the Walnut Creek area, which has good schools and is much cheaper than San Francisco, Palo Alto, San Jose etc.

Anyways, these are just some of the bad things about San Francisco, so don't let my post discourage you. The landscapes are beautiful, there are breathtaking views on every turn of the city, you can find any type of restaurant you want, even Ethiopian, the population is very diverse and there are so many shops and alleys full of outdoor cafes, it just has an overall good atmosphere.

What is your price range for buying or renting? I've looked in both real estate and renting, so I can give you an idea if your budget allows for any good districts.

[bayarea-girl]

OP, don't listen to the people in Chicago who say you are so lucky for moving. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. But if you are coming from Chitown you just might like the Bay (it just isn't as clean as Chicago). If you live outside of the state of Cali a lot of people will say that you are lucky but the same amount of people moving to California are equivalent to the people moving out of the state.

I will agree with just about everything Jonotastic said except for the Ethiopian food. The Bay has a lot of Ethiopian places to eat but they are all horrible. Go to LA, DC, NY, or GA for Ethiopian that is really good. There is also an assume Bermize restaurant in SF which has lines all the time to get in.

[Jonotastic]

lol I think I know the Bermize restaurant you are talking about...it's on clement right?

[fsufezzik]

My wife and I have lived in San Francisco for about five years. We don't have kids now, but if we did have a child it would spur us to move out of the city. (We're actually getting ready to move to Denver now, but not because of kids.)

I agree that if money is truly no object, you can buy into some very high-end neighborhoods where you will feel safe with your children. But we're talking multiple millions here. If that's the case, you'll love it here. The weather is mild year round (you may miss the phenomenon of seasons, which we don't get). The amazing variety of things to do and places to go is fantastic. You can get around most places without driving (although I will say that some of the high-end family-friendly neighborhoods are not as transit-friendly).

But it's a city, and there is crime. I live in what I consider to be a safe, family-friendly neighborhood (Glen Park) that is still reasonably affordable (by SF standards). I'm a member of our neighborhood watch group, and we always have crime in the neighborhood or nearby that concerns us. Car break-ins are a given if you park on the street long enough. There are muggings. There are burglaries. It's not suburbia!

All that said, I've loved being in San Francisco, especially as a young couple without kids. In general, though, you'll find that there are fewer kids in San Francisco than in other cities. My impression is that most people who have the option will choose to move to the suburbs to raise their children. Of course, I can't say first hand; these are just my impressions.