3 straight single brothers following their sister to SF (San Diego, San Francisco: fit in, neighborhoods)
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3 straight single brothers following their sister to SF
hi all, Our sister has lived in SF for a short time and we have visited there and had a great time. We love it there because it seems that everyone is so open, caring, and tolerant of all religions, race, and/or sexual preferences and political views(maybe). Our parents have raised all 4 of us with these same beliefs here in metro-detroit MI. Yet many of our friends or extended family do not share these beliefs and are very discriminate and judgemental. My question; are the people that live in SF really so happy and caring? Or did it just seem that way to us, because I have heard completely opposite point views on about people living in SF. Also, we are 3 single straight guys, is there enough single women to go around, or is there not a chance you would move as 3 single straight guys? thanks for your advice everyone
Yes, we're really that open-minded and caring! Of course some jerks still exist here, but it's one of the most "happily diverse" areas in the country. I work for the SF Library system, and out of my 10-12 immediate co-workers, I know at least 5 are openly gay... one is the boss, so obviously her sexuality hasn't slowed her down. But at the same time, straight people like us are still plentiful & accepted. And for my own benefit, I'd be happy to see a few more straight men here, LOL. We (straight women) probably outnumber you by a lot, so there shouldn't be any problem finding women!
But yeah, it's as open/liberal as you've heard, and I think you'd be very happy here. We're also very ethnically diverse, and all seem to get along well, though some groups are slightly self-segregating... like the part of town where I work, which is about 90% Chinese. I'd guess the only people who feel left-out are ultra right-wing religious types... my former boss has a gay Republican friend, who said he gets more crap for his political beliefs than his sexuality. I wouldn't say we're "intolerant" of them, but they just don't fit in too well. And here's a funny fact - the main San Francisco Library is open on Easter, but closed for Gay Pride Day. How funny is that??!! It's mainly because the parade goes through that part of town, but it's still pretty ironic.
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San Francisco -- a great place to be!
I live in the Bay Area, too, and what people I know often say is that if you are a straight guy in San Francisco, you'll have a better chance with the straight girls -- because there are so many gay men in S.F.! So, I'd say it's a good place to be for a male (actually straight or gay!). However, the converse is true, there are many gay women in the Berkeley area, so it's said that a straight woman there will have a better chance at meeting a straight man!
With that said, it's a great place, lots of open-minded people, beautiful area, and if it ends up you don't like it, you can always go back to MI. Maybe you're already a Californian in your mind -- now you just need to be there in place!!
Yes, we're really that open-minded and caring! Of course some jerks still exist here, but it's one of the most "happily diverse" areas in the country. I work for the SF Library system, and out of my 10-12 immediate co-workers, I know at least 5 are openly gay... one is the boss, so obviously her sexuality hasn't slowed her down. But at the same time, straight people like us are still plentiful & accepted. And for my own benefit, I'd be happy to see a few more straight men here, LOL. We (straight women) probably outnumber you by a lot, so there shouldn't be any problem finding women!
But yeah, it's as open/liberal as you've heard, and I think you'd be very happy here. We're also very ethnically diverse, and all seem to get along well, though some groups are slightly self-segregating... like the part of town where I work, which is about 90% Chinese. I'd guess the only people who feel left-out are ultra right-wing religious types... my former boss has a gay Republican friend, who said he gets more crap for his political beliefs than his sexuality. I wouldn't say we're "intolerant" of them, but they just don't fit in too well. And here's a funny fact - the main San Francisco Library is open on Easter, but closed for Gay Pride Day. How funny is that??!! It's mainly because the parade goes through that part of town, but it's still pretty ironic.
A dear friend of mine, when I lived in SF, was "in the closet" too. He was lots more open about being gay and having AIDS than being Republican.
You work for the library? There used to be a librarian, in the old SF library science and technology department, named Jerry, who I called (not to his face) Jerry the Gay Librarian cause he was so "nellie", as they say. Is he still there? He was great at his job! He was my benefactor when I was doing this research project in the library - his knowledge of where absolutely everything was was practically supernatural. But, this was some 20 years ago.
So far as the dating scene in SF for a straight man goes...perhaps people shouldn't generalize from my experience, but I did not find it terribly good. My personal impression was that SF women are a) generally yuppied out to the stratosphere, and, b) looking for a man who is a bit more submissive than I am inclined to be. I'm happier back here in NY where I came from. I miss many things about SF but that's not one of them.
You work for the library? There used to be a librarian, in the old SF library science and technology department, named Jerry, who I called (not to his face) Jerry the Gay Librarian cause he was so "nellie", as they say. Is he still there? He was great at his job! He was my benefactor when I was doing this research project in the library - his knowledge of where absolutely everything was was practically supernatural. But, this was some 20 years ago.
Hmmm, isn't "gay librarian" kind of redundant?? I don't work at the main library (we have 27 branches around the city), so I'm not sure if he's still there... but if I'm ever filling in at Main, I'll keep an eye out for Jerry. Oh, and all librarians are supernatural, in case you weren't aware - LOL.
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My personal impression was that SF women are a) generally yuppied out to the stratosphere, and, b) looking for a man who is a bit more submissive than I am inclined to be. I'm happier back here in NY where I came from. I miss many things about SF but that's not one of them.
You certainly aren't describing me, since I'm kinda "anti-yuppie" and prefer a tough/dominant type of man! Of course you're just speaking generally, and I won't deny that you could be right... since I'm a woman, obviously I can't see things from the male perspective. But if it's any consolation, you described the experiences I've had with SF men so far!! If I meet one more boring techie, with a job description I don't even understand, I'm going to vomit.
I live in San Diego, but have friends in SF and when I visit all the good things it's known for - - tolerance, creativity, arts, diversity, are all true in the CITY - - what surprised me, however, is that the surrounding area tended to be just like the rest of the SD or the rest country - strip-malls, freeways, some intolerance. If I ever moved to SF I would definately live in the city and take advantage of all the pluses, which if your single and not looking to settle down in suburbia right away, SF seems like a nice choice - - I have friends who live in SF, both gay and straight, male and female, single and married, and they all have found it to be an overall great place to live
The gay thing is so over played. There are just as many gays in SF as any other major city IMO. They stay in their area Castro. If you go out looking for gays you'll find them. But there are far more strait people than gay in SF.
The gay thing is so over played. There are just as many gays in SF as any other major city IMO. They stay in their area Castro. If you go out looking for gays you'll find them. But there are far more strait people than gay in SF.
Well, that might be your opinion, but the stats in San Francisco are well above "normal". And considering more than half of my co-workers are gay, you can't say we have the same numbers as any other city! Not that it matters, of course... btw, I don't work anywhere near the Castro, so they don't just "stay in their area".
Oh, and the Castro is mainly for gay men, so lesbians are plentiful in other parts of the city... Noe Valley & Bernal Heights are known as "lesbian neighborhoods", but you'll run into them everywhere.
I don't feel people are open or friendly in SF unless you are liberal minded. If you are a republican, you are an outsider. As for the beauty of the city, if you like to see bums and protests on every street, there you go.
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We (straight women) probably outnumber you by a lot, so there shouldn't be any problem finding women!
I wouldn't say we're "intolerant" of them, but they just don't fit in too well. And here's a funny fact - the main San Francisco Library is open on Easter, but closed for Gay Pride Day. How funny is that??!! It's mainly because the parade goes through that part of town, but it's still pretty ironic.
