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Old 01-12-2010, 08:54 PM
 
11 posts, read 22,802 times
Reputation: 37
Default Why Are People In The Bay Area So Soft?

I originally moved to SF from New York city for a job (they paid for the relocation and such) a couple months ago. And man, its been a major culture shift which is ok I suppose. But also very irritating in a number of ways to a life long east coaster like myself. Almost to the point of making normal social interaction difficult because of over-PC ness.

"Sarcasm" seems to be lost on most people here. They all look at me with blank stares when I make a sarcastic joke or comment.

Say "thats gay" your called out as a homophobe.

People give you stares of disaproval if your the type of person that looks like to have somewhere to go, commitments to make, likes to dress up for business etc. Just no sense of working to "get ahead". What gives? Do people here just prefer others to be as miserable, non-goal oriented, aim-less and broke as they are?

Overall the people in this area seem to lack alot of aspects of character and tend to be very introverted and quiet. I also see theres less of an energy here. Everything from major stores to mom and pop shops to restaurants closes early and people don't seem to care. Even nightclubs close early (WTF?).

Anyways I was just venting. Personally I think the weather is great here, but I like the east coast better in terms of the relationships, people and the overall attitude of most people. I just gel well with folks who are more honest about themselves and know how to stick up for themselves without complaining or crying. Those types are usually laughed out of New York City. Its very soft.

How can people live like this day and day out and not go crazy?

/rant
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Old 01-12-2010, 09:20 PM
 
1,510 posts, read 1,694,258 times
Reputation: 950
Everything from major stores to mom and pop shops to restaurants closes early and people don't seem to care.
> I was getting a lot of heat on this forum for stating this obvious fact that things close super early here. Wait until SF supporters come out in full force to prove that you are wrong! Now you are comparing with NYC and it is understandable that SF will be slower that that. But heck everything here closes earlier even compared to Dallas, TX.

I have not noticed anything about the behavior issues but I do find people here talk less and not very out going. However people in my work are very hard-working, go-getter, aggressive type. Not laid back at all.

SF has many good things going for it. But the way things close down so early completely drives me nuts.
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Old 01-12-2010, 09:55 PM
 
Location: Bay Area
3,045 posts, read 4,180,073 times
Reputation: 2715
I'm seeing a pattern of out of state whiners and complainers and newbie culture shock victims. So San Franciscans are soft?? Uh, you might want to rethink that statement all together. This is what I've been reading over and over again lately. I've tried my best at biting my tongue but it's like a free for all lately. The tone had become irritating and pointless.

Our Victorians/Edwardians aren't warm enough.
There's not modern hook ups for all dishwashers/washing machines etc..
Everything is closed early
People are mean
Too many homeless
Too many poor..oh wait.. I mean too many wealthy..
Violence..people waiting around the corner to stab you while handling pit bulls, people trying to beat you up on MUNI
public transport is horrible.
people are too laid back..oh wait..too workaholic, too materialistic..oh, they aren't goal oriented..slackers, too busy
Too liberal, too many gays etc..

Perhaps if anything all of the recent negative "venting" rants might have sparked some friendships from a bunch of like minded people?? Maybe this is the start of some beautiful friendships of unhappy "blow ins"? Just an observation.

So culture shock happens..but to go on and on about it is pointless. You're obviously not from here so you're not ever going to be invested in changing San Francisco or even caring or making it better..typical of what's wrong with "out of staters"..typical transient mentality..and actually the main reason for the demise of a once great middle class, family friendly, vibrant and fun City, imo.

So you must realize before complaining that it is/has been you, and most of the people just like you that invaded SF in the past 15yrs that have contributed to what you hate about it. Ask around..how many of you are actually San Franciscans? I bet you..none.
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Old 01-12-2010, 10:00 PM
 
Location: 3814′45″N 12237′53″W
4,153 posts, read 6,213,508 times
Reputation: 3277
Quote:
Originally Posted by clongirl View Post
I'm seeing a pattern of out of state whiners and complainers and newbie culture shock victims. So San Franciscans are soft?? Uh, you might want to rethink that statement all together. This is what I've been reading over and over again lately. I've tried my best at biting my tongue but it's like a free for all lately. The tone had become irritating and pointless.

Our Victorians/Edwardians aren't warm enough.
There's not modern hook ups for all dishwashers/washing machines etc..
Everything is closed early
People are mean
Too many homeless
Too many poor..oh wait.. I mean too many wealthy..
Violence..people waiting around the corner to stab you while handling pit bulls, people trying to beat you up on MUNI
public transport is horrible.
people are too laid back..oh wait..too workaholic, too materialistic..oh, they aren't goal oriented..slackers, too busy
Too liberal, too many gays etc..

Perhaps if anything all of the recent negative "venting" rants might have sparked some friendships from a bunch of like minded people?? Maybe this is the start of some beautiful friendships of unhappy "blow ins"? Just an observation.

So culture shock happens..but to go on and on about it is pointless. You're obviously not from here so you're not ever going to be invested in changing San Francisco or even caring or making it better..typical of what's wrong with "out of staters"..typical transient mentality..and actually the main reason for the demise of a once great middle class, family friendly, vibrant and fun City, imo.

So you must realize before complaining that it is/has been you, and most of the people just like you that invaded SF in the past 15yrs that have contributed to what you hate about it. Ask around..how many of you are actually San Franciscans? I bet you..none.

OMG! You mean SF and Bay Area folks DON'T COMPLAIN enough??!!
Clongirl, I think you forgot that one!
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:21 AM
 
937 posts, read 1,179,260 times
Reputation: 646
I would say the OP's post is more or less accurate.

- Everything closes early
- People here are less confident/secure in themselves and outgoing
- People here are over-sensitive
- Introverted/soft etc etc.

Its what alot of people have been saying for a while. Its basically an extremely unhealthy environment of political correctness. There seems to be less of an emphasis on personal responsibility and self-esteem and more of a atmosphere of multi-culturalism (belief that all cultures and lifestyles are equal and valid with no standard of the "good") and collective guilt over various things various liberal groups attempt to induce guilt and shame over. But no celebration of *real* accomplishments. Which is probably why you get stared at disdainfully when you wear business suits and look like you have somewhere to go and things to do!

I bet New York must be a really energetic fun place eh? Would like to visit a real American city for once.
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:27 AM
 
Location: West Coast Wanderer
11,835 posts, read 9,422,185 times
Reputation: 5502
Quote:
Originally Posted by clongirl View Post
I'm seeing a pattern of out of state whiners and complainers and newbie culture shock victims. So San Franciscans are soft?? Uh, you might want to rethink that statement all together. This is what I've been reading over and over again lately. I've tried my best at biting my tongue but it's like a free for all lately. The tone had become irritating and pointless.

Our Victorians/Edwardians aren't warm enough.
There's not modern hook ups for all dishwashers/washing machines etc..
Everything is closed early
People are mean
Too many homeless
Too many poor..oh wait.. I mean too many wealthy..
Violence..people waiting around the corner to stab you while handling pit bulls, people trying to beat you up on MUNI
public transport is horrible.
people are too laid back..oh wait..too workaholic, too materialistic..oh, they aren't goal oriented..slackers, too busy
Too liberal, too many gays etc..

Perhaps if anything all of the recent negative "venting" rants might have sparked some friendships from a bunch of like minded people?? Maybe this is the start of some beautiful friendships of unhappy "blow ins"? Just an observation.

So culture shock happens..but to go on and on about it is pointless. You're obviously not from here so you're not ever going to be invested in changing San Francisco or even caring or making it better..typical of what's wrong with "out of staters"..typical transient mentality..and actually the main reason for the demise of a once great middle class, family friendly, vibrant and fun City, imo.

So you must realize before complaining that it is/has been you, and most of the people just like you that invaded SF in the past 15yrs that have contributed to what you hate about it. Ask around..how many of you are actually San Franciscans? I bet you..none.
Very very good response! +1
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:29 AM
 
Location: West Coast Wanderer
11,835 posts, read 9,422,185 times
Reputation: 5502
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayDude View Post
I would say the OP's post is more or less accurate.

- Everything closes early
- People here are less confident/secure in themselves and outgoing
- People here are over-sensitive
- Introverted/soft etc etc.

Its what alot of people have been saying for a while. Its basically an extremely unhealthy environment of political correctness. There seems to be less of an emphasis on personal responsibility and self-esteem and more of a atmosphere of multi-culturalism (belief that all cultures and lifestyles are equal and valid with no standard of the "good") and collective guilt over various things various liberal groups attempt to induce guilt and shame over. But no celebration of *real* accomplishments. Which is probably why you get stared at disdainfully when you wear business suits and look like you have somewhere to go and things to do!

I bet New York must be a really energetic fun place eh? Would like to visit a real American city for once.
Then go! All you do is bag on the Bay Area anyway and by your "opinions" I'm willing to bet that you've never even lived in the Bay Area lol
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:41 AM
 
1,510 posts, read 1,694,258 times
Reputation: 950
So you must realize before complaining that it is/has been you, and most of the people just like you that invaded SF in the past 15yrs that have contributed to what you hate about it. Ask around..how many of you are actually San Franciscans? I bet you..none.
> Ah there you go again! It is always somebody else's fault as if people who have lived here longer than 15 years is inherently superior than everybody else. You make it sound like as if old-timer SF residents are a superior form of human species.
Please quit complaining about transplants. US is a free country where people move from one place to the other and rest assured the more dynamic economic regions of the country has way more transplants than the bay area does.
You are entitled to feel superior as a native if that makes you happy. But there is no logical basis of such an absurd claim!
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:47 AM
hsw
 
2,066 posts, read 4,071,360 times
Reputation: 1342
Having lived/worked in Manhattan early in my career, I'd argue most of the smartest, most accomplished guys in Manhattan aren't originally from NYC...much like most of highest achievers in SV aren't originally from SF region or from CA

The brilliance of cosmopolitan places like Manhattan and SV is that they tend to attract many of world's smartest, most ambitious guys from wherever (usu world's top colleges)

In Manhattan, many of highest-paid guys arrive in offices <7AM, so are unlikely to be out late at bars on wknts; in SF's FinDt, many arrive at offices (or are busy on computers <4AM) so can figure they aren't out late either

And much of the SV engineering crowd lives in leafy suburbs nr PaloAlto, not in SF....and often work bizarre workaholic hrs of own when they are busy on various projects like latest iPhone or NexusOne, etc

Need to remember that SV is the place that essentially created the Net/Blkberry/google/Telepresence world where workaholics can work anywhere/anytime w/o sitting in an office in a CBD somewhere, so conventional norms of urban culture don't apply well to either SV or MidtownManhattan, where one has both many young, wealthy workaholics who work virtually and many young, wealthy retirees who are screwing around as they figure out what start-up to go to next
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:49 AM
 
Location: Oakland CA
7,006 posts, read 9,281,892 times
Reputation: 7036
Bay Areans are soft -- well that's a complement! I use an organic olive oil moisturuzer, and a retinol formula to soften my skin...

And as for things closing early.... gotta be home to watch Craig Ferguson!
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