Cities with better dating scene for non-flighty thirtysomethings (Fresno: live in, internship)

[Eugene80]

Thanks for that collection. I added some of those to favorites for further review

[susangggg]

Originally Posted by Eugene80

Thanks for that collection. I added some of those to favorites for further review

hehee there's alot more where that came from. I've spent the last year researching this. My conclusion? There's something very, very insidiously problematic for women here, we are not being valued and treated the way we should be! That's like 75% of why I am moving out of NYC.

[pathrunner]

Originally Posted by mayorhaggar

Dating for men in SF doesn't seem very good. Most women seem attached and those that aren't are only interested in dating rich guys...they claim they aren't but sooo many times I've seen girls ditch a nice guy who isn't rich for a guy who is.

There are just as many flyboy opportunists looking for a trust fund baby so that's a gross generalization. Guys are just as likely to look past a woman of modest means as a woman is.

[mayorhaggar]

Men mainly care about looks and compatibility. Women care about those things too but money and fame come into the mix for them and can override them. Men are not supposed to like being with a woman that makes more than them (but I'm sure many of them make do), but it's considered normal for a woman to date a wealthier and maybe older man.

I don't even think it's a conscious "gold-digging" thing for women, I just think that they look for stability in a relationship more than men do and they subconsciously identify a wealthier guy as being better for that.

[susangggg]

All this talk of money/security/success, am I the only woman who doesn't care about money? Maybe I should just give into the hippie lifestyle totally, join a commune and wear tie dye, loose fitting clothes, stop shaving anything and open an organic mushroom farm.

[ErikJohnsson]

Originally Posted by HowGoesIt

It's very tough to be a man in Boston or NYC (been there, done that). Both cities have a large amount of well educated, fit, clean cut, alpha male types. This makes it tough to stand out of the crowd even if you have all those traits.

Also, women in those cities are average at best. When I moved to Boston for grad school, I met a lot of women who didn't work out, didn't care too much for make-up or how they look when they leave their apartment, and many had very crabby attitudes to top it off.

This is spot on. The ratio is in men's favor, but since (mainly white, middle class and wealthier) women, in NY at least, aren't thinking based on statistics, but rather that they want the best looking and/or most well paid, they are more likely to ignore or not seriously date the plenty of average looking, average paid dudes. It doesn't help their expectations are distorted by some dudes who are on top of fashion (some/many of which may not be into the ladies, but the women don't know that), some of the highest paying job fields are most abundant in NYC, and NYC is the top city for young people from very wealthy families now. When they're in their late 20s-30s and still single, they then start complaining about the statistics not being in their favor.

[Ceece]

It's all BS you know. There is really no 'place' better or worse for dating when the issue is always and only you. Guys/girls are everywhere and they will either like you or they won't. You will like them or you won't. The only thing that could even slightly help you is going someplace where the opposite sex outnumbers your own, and even then it's still a matter of liking/not liking.

I only dated a couple guys from my office before getting married to one, my daugther finds bf's wherever she happens to be, she found her current one in West Hollywood...arguably not the first place you think of to find a single straight guy who is marriage minded...so the 'place' isn't the problem! It's expectations.

[cafecita]

Originally Posted by Ceece

It's all BS you know. There is really no 'place' better or worse for dating when the issue is always and only you. Guys/girls are everywhere and they will either like you or they won't. You will like them or you won't. The only thing that could even slightly help you is going someplace where the opposite sex outnumbers your own, and even then it's still a matter of liking/not liking.

I truly believe this. However, I am feeling a little weary of my upcoming move to the Bay Area. I looooove the city, but I decided to check out the dating scene ahead of time, and changed my account from Salt Lake City to San Fran. While living in SLC, I would have guys emailing me on a daily basis asking me to meet for drinks or dinner. I changed my location to San Fran one week ago and so far I haven't had ONE email. Not one! I was signed up for dating in Boulder and had a similar experience to SLC. So now I'm a little freaked out that my dating life is going to be nonexistent in the Bay Area.

[MikeNigh]

philly has good night life.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by cafecita

I truly believe this. However, I am feeling a little weary of my upcoming move to the Bay Area. I looooove the city, but I decided to check out the dating scene ahead of time, and changed my account from Salt Lake City to San Fran. While living in SLC, I would have guys emailing me on a daily basis asking me to meet for drinks or dinner. I changed my location to San Fran one week ago and so far I haven't had ONE email. Not one! I was signed up for dating in Boulder and had a similar experience to SLC. So now I'm a little freaked out that my dating life is going to be nonexistent in the Bay Area.

Most women on OLD posting in the Relationships forum say that they get a lot of emails, but few, if any, are of any quality. The vast majority are one-liners, one-worders ("s'up?"), or obscene. If you got at least half-way articulate invitations for a legitimate activity (vs. sexual come-ons), you're fairly unique in your experience.

I don't know how you could have any trouble getting attention in a region flooded with single men streaming in to work in the tech sector. There could be a challenge with initially breaking the ice, though one would think being on OLD would eliminate that issue. There are singles activities all over the Bay, though. Be sure to get involved in those, as well.