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Old 05-07-2010, 01:25 PM
1 posts, read 691 times
Reputation: 11


This begs the question: Are you employed? If Husband is the main breadwinner and your family's livelihood depends on solely his salary, you have an obligation to go where the job is. Your family's future depends on it. Easy as that.
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Old 05-07-2010, 05:15 PM
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
66,802 posts, read 76,147,027 times
Reputation: 35977
Originally Posted by eureka1 View Post
"..in sickness and in health , till death do us part..". Maybe you and the dogs should go back to Canada and your husband can start looking for a real life partner. Many of us have moved to accommodate a spouse's job and it didn't kill us.
wanted to rep you on this one, but have to spread it around...maybe I will rep one of those who need a positive word. (sorry couldn't resist)

You are right, I think of the times we re-located because hubby took a new job or was transferred, Eureka was one of them. Yes, we survived and we learned something from the move. We learned to appreciate the simpler things in life. Though Eureka wasn't our cup of tea, I do not regret living there. How can anyone not love fresh crab, salmon. and the Somoa cook house (isnt that what it is called)?

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Old 05-07-2010, 08:04 PM
Location: San Francisco, CA
12,438 posts, read 9,668,400 times
Reputation: 10941
Originally Posted by kathline View Post
Okay, so about two years ago, I moved with husband and teenage son from Canada, to Arizona because husband had obtained what we thought was an excellent job with a company here. At the time, I didnt really want to move, nor did my son, because we had a beautiful home, friends and family close by, and a lifestyle that we enjoyed. The research I did suggested that Scottsdale was over priced, crowded, and not at all what I was used to, since my preferred lifestyle is rural. We moved anyway, and I have learned to adjust. I am not crazy about Scottsdale, but I have a large acre for my dogs, and a country feel to my home, since we are in an outskirts sort of area.

Turns out, the company was all smoke and mirrors, and is now in Chapter 11. Husband thinks it will eventually go chapter 7. So he has been quietly looking for a new job, while still employed in Az. I have been encouraging him to look in states that have large rural areas, since he was in Arkansas when we first met, and has always considered himself a rural person. At his level of employment, there are not a lot of jobs out there. He is a scientist, although the pay scale back in Arkansas was low. He was making 65k in 2005, jumped to 95k when he moved to Canada, and currently is making 140k here in AZ.

Well, he got a job offer from a company that he used to do business with, when he was in Arkansas. They are willing to pay him 150k, and relocate us. The problem is...the job is in downtown San Francisco.

He respects the company; it is stable and honest, which is more than can be said about his current company. He likes the people he will be working with. He will have long term job security.

But, I have serious issues with the move. I am a country type person. San Francisco is huge. I cant see me living in the city. I doubt we could afford to buy in the city anyway, and I have two large huskies that I dont plan on giving up, so finding a rental would be difficult.

The 150k he will be making, according to salary calculators, will result in a pay cut for us, since we would have to make 180k in SF to equal 140k in Scottsdale.

I have told him that I will not move unless I can be reassured of some things. If he wants to take the job, he will have to do it alone, and I will return to Canada, where I was quite content

I want to live outside the city, in a rural type of area. The closest areas that fit the description are a minimum of two hours away, but I suspect they are really much farther, since mileage calculators dont take into account the traffic.

I have told my husband that if he can arrange to telecommute at least two days a week, I dont have a problem with him commuting the other three. I couldnt live with a long commuter husband every day, but three times a week, I could suck it up.

I am open to suggestions regarding rural areas, commute routes and times, etc. He would take public transit.

One area I was looking at was bonny doon in the san lorenzo valley. He would drive to San Jose and take the caltrain into the city.

Someone, tell me, what is our life REALLY going to be like? I think this is a bad idea. I doubt it is going to work, but if there is anyone out there who loves country type living and still manages to work in the city, please, let me know.
San Francisco is actually not that big of a city as far as big cities go. The entire bay area, however, is quite big. That said, if you're going for rural, then obviously that's not what's on the menu here...

Living two hours away will be a *b r u t a l* commute that will probably not be so sustainable in the long run. You won't see much of him if you have him spending a good 5-6 hours on the road a day in addition to time at the office. I would not do it.

The main problem for me here is the cost of living. I don't know what kind of a home you have now, but to own property here is an arm and a leg - even outside of the city in a decent area. Do some careful research on housing and what you could get for your money. $150k is a good salary and will certainly enable you to be fine, but it doesn't nearly go as far here as it would elsewhere since a small, old, modest home here in a decent part of the peninsula starts at like $700k...
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