SF not the place for relationships? (San Francisco, Walnut Creek: environment, relocate, real estate)

[clongirl]

I, or any of my friends certainly wouldn't have dated someone with such a miserable, negative personality who generalizes about all women. If you don't have a dating problem, I'd be really surprised. It's bizarre that you can tell us with such authority that women who live in SF are less down to earth than in other parts of the rest of the world. ALL people are individuals with their own personalities, got it?

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by Don Vito

Who says i have dating problems. I certianly don't and haven't had too many seeing as how i steer clear of Sf

Whew.....

[NorthernCalifornia]

Wow, defensive are we! Obviously not everybody is the same or can be caught in such a generalization.

Yes, SF has changed a great deal since the early 90's. All urban areas have in the US. SF has gotten pretentious and expensive. There are social consequences to this. In addition amongst the youger (below 35) folks there is a differen trend where women are making MORE money than men. It's true! It doesn't offend my male status or sense of macho-ness or whatever you're assuming and I highly doubt it bothers most other men in this town either. We're happy to see it.

But women who were raised to 'marry up' find it frustrating.

I'm sure you're all the exception to my horrific characterization of the city as a lousy place to form relationships but it's true in a relative sense. I'm trying to offer a genuine and realistic portrayal of the human culture of a city for someone who asked. They should know what to expect. This forum should not be a PR-statement for San Francisco, it should be a good place to get realistic information.

Naturally the initial post also only relates to the upper-middle class white demographic because that's who the person who asked is going to meet. You find entirely different dynamics in other socio-economic categories but the truth remains that the upper-middle class white people in their late 20's to early 40's are the dominant demographic in terms of cultural influence in this city if you're working downtown and in that age group and aren't latched onto some other clique/scene/cultural island.

You can attack people personally all you want but you know nothing about me. I'm far more complex and interesting than one stupid post on a lame forum, please do not GENERALIZE my personality based on your knee-jerk reaction to a post on a website.

To re-iterate my point, it's easy to find a relationship here but it's hard to find a GOOD ONE.

[DowNout]

SF - the women are more aggresive, the men are often more metro-sexual, the gay's are more, well, gay, and the dining is stellar! If you are looking for someone to "sweep you off your feet", it's probably going to turn out to be more of a "hold-on-tight and run" scenario. It's a very romantic city with a ton of beautiful people, so there's bound to be alot of dating. HOWEVER, the California lifestyle(s) are not centered around family and marriage. We tend towards the expensive and underfunded public oversight (just look at our state budget crisis, and you will get the point). We charge more, tax higher, alleviate less, and price our products accordingly. This is the state where most CPA's will advise you that "financially you are better off not to have children" if you want to own your own home, save for retirement, be able to take vacations where you want, etc. So, to bring this back around, SF is probably the best place to find someone you want to settle down with, just don't expect much if you try to settle down in CA.

[NorthernCalifornia]

Originally Posted by Don Vito

Northern California pretty much hit it on the head. How ever i feel the 'trendier' parts of the east bay(south berkeley, lake merritt, etc) offer much more of a down to earth dating scene, with real people.

This is true. Oakland and Berkeley are entirely different cities than SF with an entirely different dynamic. A lot of the people that made SF what it was in the early 90's ended up in the East Bay after the cost of housing soared and the population of people that were NOT contributing but rather leeching off the city increased to an insufferable percentage of the total.

There are still strong pockets and decent numbers of fun, interesting, intelligent people in San Francisco. I spend as much time as possible with those people. Just realize that it's harder and harder each year to live somewhere that is expensive, competitive and "desirable" without making more and more sacrifices. This is not a "laid-back" mellow beach town where you can show up, put in a few hours work and get back to doing what you love. This was still the case not too long ago but it is resoundingly NOT true anymore. You want to live in SF? Be ready to work, make money and have too little free time to do what you really want to do. Almost everyone you know will have the same problem.

Don't like it? Find a way out! It's hard but do-able!

[NorthernCalifornia]

Originally Posted by clongirl

ALL people are individuals with their own personalities, got it?

Even people who call themselves CLONE GIRL?

[clongirl]

Sorry, my online name refers to a place in Ireland in which I had lived for several years. Again, with your sweeping generalizations and know it all attitude. I honestly couldn't have imagined some guy would try to make a joke out of my screen name- I'm sure you really thought you were being funny, though. It's Clon, not Clone with an 'e' like in eedjit.

[NorthernCalifornia]

Originally Posted by clongirl

Sorry, my online name refers to a place in Ireland in which I had lived for several years. Again, with your sweeping generalizations and know it all attitude. I honestly couldn't have imagined some guy would try to make a joke out of my screen name- I'm sure you really thought you were being funny, though. It's Clon, not Clone with an 'e' like in eedjit.

honestly, you're shocked?

Anyway, to the initial poster, here's the attitude you might get when presenting any kind of non-party-line opinion about SF. It's a great city, I enjoy living here and have for years but it's probably not the fantasy you might think it is. It's a city fighting against old reputations and myths. A city changing and many people here are still grasping onto some old ideas about how things are here. I know that many people are surprised when they get here and settle in and realize how different it is from their imagination.

[shannon85]

I dont think that is true, i fell in love for the first time in SF and we stayed together for 2 yrs,and he still my best friend.

[shepmead03]

hahaha this is a funny forum and it has its truth. I grew up in San Francisco living that swingin "lifestyle" and the guys who I attracted tended to live that lifestyle as well. I've grown out of it but the guys with money never seem to from my experience. I see some of the former posters mentioned San Francisco as a "very young" city. This more specifically translates to San Francisco being a very late twenties - THIRTIES singles city.