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Old 05-11-2011, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
26 posts, read 79,084 times
Reputation: 25

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I'm a single woman in Atlanta, and I'm seriously considering relocating to Silicon Valley in order to meet a man who is intelligent, not overly religious, decent-looking, fairly well-groomed, and nice (he must have a job, of course) . I've heard there are lots of single straight men in Silicon Valley/SF Bay area as well as in NYC. So, I'm wondering if it would be a better idea to move west or north.

Even if the male to female ratio is higher in Silicon Valley, I was wondering if there are more single men in the NYC area, just in terms of sheer numbers because of the larger population in general. Does anyone know how many single straight men there actually are in Silicon Valley? As opposed to actual numbers in NYC? I'm 34 years old, so I'm looking for men from age 32 to 38-ish.

If I were to move to Silicon Valley, are there any single men in their thirties left over there? Here in Atlanta, it seems everyone, and I mean EVERYONE in their thirties is married with a kid or two. Trust me, I've looked. Men marry young in the South compared to the coasts. If I stay on here, my only hope is to wait for the married men to start getting divorced. Does anyone know if men in their thirties are plentiful in SV?

Finally, if I do move to SV, where do I want to be to meet single men in the 32 to 38 age range? That is, what part of SV, precisely in what city or suburb? I know where I live will eventually boil down to where I find a job, but I'd like to find a job close to these areas.

Finally, since many of these men are techies who work crazy hours toiling away in their cubicles, where and when can I actually meet them? Do they ever leave their cubes to go get lunch and dinner at a restaurant, deli, or sandwich shop? If so, where do they go? Do they go to any particular gyms, bowling alleys, coffee shops, or sports bars? If so, where in SV are these places? If you're a single guy in SV, maybe you could give me some pointers about where to hang out.

Thank you!
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:03 AM
 
22,063 posts, read 23,809,673 times
Reputation: 18960
I can't advise you on the specifics of where to find a guy since I'm not in that scene. But here is a general overview of what this area is like.

As you probably know, the dating scene is probably going to be somewhat difficult for you no matter where you live.

I don't know your race/ethnicity, but you may want to consider being open to dating outside your racial/ethnic background. Interracial/interethnic marriage can be tough because all those little (and not so little) cultural differences get magnified...but it's something to consider. There are a lot of Asian/Indian/Latino men in this area. I'd say the Caucasian group tends to be pretty liberal, although the down side to that is they may not want to get married since there's little social pressure to do so. The many recent immigrants to this area may not be interested in dating outside their race/culture. I think a fair number of Indians still have arranged marriages. There seem to be a fair number of marriages where the man is Caucasian & the woman Asian.

This is not a very religious area. The flip side to that is that we have a higher proportion of atheists/agnostics. I personally find this kinda frustrating and going too far to the opposite extreme, but it may work fine for you. There are also more choices of non-Western religions such as Buddhism that may not be so prevalent in Atlanta.

Your question about getting techies out of their cubes is a good one. I don't know how to do this. You may also want to consider whether you click with that personality type. This area is dominated by techies. If they're your cup of tea...great! If not, you may be really frustrated as a lot of peole find engineers & computer programmers to be dull/boring (not to stereotype, but some of them don't know how to have a conversation outside those narrow realms).

Other nearby areas to consider are San Francisco & nearby suburbs (called the Peninsula) and Oakalnd & suburbs (referred to as the East Bay).

I'd say the East Bay is the most balanced part of the Bay Area in terms of finding someone who is interested in marrying but who isn't super coservative/religious. It tends to attract people who either work in San Francisco or who work in industries in the East Bay. It isn't dominated by one industry or one personality type the way Silicon Valley is.

San Francisco proper has a lot of gay men and generally attracts people who go to extremes....and those types aren't often the marrying kind. The suburbs to the south on the Peninsula tend to be kinda dull and/or tech oriented. If you live in the East Bay, you can kind of get the best of both worlds in that you can get to San Francisco more quickly and easily than you can from San Jose (especially because there is a BART tran from that area whereas there isn't one from SJ).

This is just my perspective. I'm a gay man myself....but I think most of what I've said here applies to gays and straights alike. As always, your mileage may vary.
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
9,273 posts, read 14,594,372 times
Reputation: 5555
Google 'table for six' or iterations and add San Jose to the search. There is a professional singles meet-up organization in the area.
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Old 05-14-2011, 02:21 AM
 
Location: Boulder Creek, CA
9,197 posts, read 12,571,623 times
Reputation: 6275
Quote:
Originally Posted by single_gal_siliconvalley View Post
Finally, since many of these men are techies who work crazy hours toiling away in their cubicles... Do they go to any particular gyms, bowling alleys, coffee shops, or sports bars?
Geeks don't wander out into the public realm terribly consistently. Except to go to Fry's.
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Old 05-14-2011, 04:00 AM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,662 posts, read 23,852,935 times
Reputation: 5020
Best advice I can share is to quit looking and seek fun times. Go out and do the things you love best. There is where you will meet someone for you.
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Old 05-14-2011, 10:20 AM
 
Location: San Jose
160 posts, read 370,805 times
Reputation: 176
If you want a guy that works, you'll find him at work. If you want a guy that plays, you'll find him at the bar. If you want a guy that goes to concerts, go to concerts. If you want a guy that likes to run, go running. If you want a guy that likes what you like, just drop your judgments and look around.
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Old 05-15-2011, 02:35 PM
hsw
 
2,144 posts, read 5,955,090 times
Reputation: 1497
SV is much like Manhattan in that those with most money are guys, be it engineers in SV or traders in Manhattan, who are workaholics glued to various computer screens and who tend to socialize with others in own industry (and generally meet females at office, as attractive females are often more prevalent in sales&marketing or legal/admin parts of either tech or finance)

Either engineers or traders tend to be quants with weak social skills but money tends to make social skills less relevant than for JoeSixPack salesguy

Single engineers and financiers in SV tend to reside in either PaloAlto or houses in SF's PacHts or in newer condo towers in SF's FinDt

Perhaps greatest concentration of 25-40yo single yuppies in CA (though most drive to offices in PaloAlto area) is in SF's PacHts, CowHollow, Marina area...much like in any major urban region, certain SF bars/restaurants are favored post-office spots on wkdays...and on wkends same bars/restaurants can have a decidedly less affluent bridge&tunnel/tourist crowd...

Most corporate campuses in SV have own fancy cafes so workers don't need to waste time driving to one of SV's many crappy restaurants....and SF is where nearly every major tech conference in world occurs, so lots of major SV engineers and execs are often in SF during these confs to wine/dine with investors and other industry figures
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Old 05-15-2011, 05:58 PM
 
Location: San Jose, CA
7,400 posts, read 15,534,633 times
Reputation: 8951
Quote:
Originally Posted by hsw View Post
Single engineers and financiers in SV tend to reside in either PaloAlto or houses in SF's PacHts or in newer condo towers in SF's FinDt
It is simply not true that the majority of single engineers reside in Palo Alto or in SF. Palo Alto is one of the most expensive cities in the country, and only the very richest can afford to live there. Not that many live in SF either because the commute to SV is very tiresome. For that reason, engineers are spread all up and down the Silicon Valley Peninsula. I can't speak for financiers because there are far fewer of them than engineers. However the ones I've known tend to live between Palo Alto and SF.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Boulder Creek, CA
9,197 posts, read 12,571,623 times
Reputation: 6275
Quote:
Originally Posted by hsw View Post
Either engineers or traders tend to be quants
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Old 05-16-2011, 02:19 AM
 
471 posts, read 574,379 times
Reputation: 449
Is this question for real or joke? Sounds like people are going to hunt engineers like fur foxes! The best way to meet them is to set up some nets around Mountain View, CA and drive them into the nets! Sort of like a big old skool rabbit drive. Or, set up engineer traps at the entrances of SV restaurants.

My mother's house is next to google so I lived there.... even though myself I'm a computer engineer, I wouldn't want to date any of those, especially those living in SF Bay area... I figured it'd be more fun to just committ suicide.

If you want to hunt engineers for real you probbly better off doing it at the gym... like look up locations of corporate campuses and sign up for local 24 fitness or Equinox or something and attend... cause there it'd be easier for u to make contact....Just your question looks like a well-written joke! And yeah plenty of Asian engineers in the area, they like their own culture and try to stick to it and marry their own. And yes, in SF Bay area they're only straight till you heat them up (like spaghetti), so prepare to share.
As to Manhattan, it's called Man-hattan for a reason. Prepare to sleep with a 100 or more of dudes before u find someone who'd date u for a month, cause pple are very utilitarian in NYC and like to waste no time. Hope you're not looking to become next sex and the city episode.

Bay area is very expensive! Lol u should rent a room from my mom, cause she always rents rooms to young engiener guys who moved to Mountain view u could meet them...jk my mom is crazy, wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Last edited by xani; 05-16-2011 at 02:49 AM..
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