Best Way to Convince Wife to move out of Bay Area? (San Jose: low crime, house)

[justinbro2002]

How ready are you to buy right now? Do you have a savings and good enough credit to buy? There are cities about an hour+ commute from San Jose metro area that are far more affordable than Silicon Valley. In the East Bay somewhere like Hayward that is pretty centerally located between San Jose and San Francisco there are some pretty sketchy areas in Hayward but close to the hills is a better area you could get a house in Hayward for around $250k to $300k. Now prices are on the rise and the east bay is becoming more and more attractive to people priced out of Silicon Valley. Like others have said you might want to look out farther somewhere like Livermore or Tracy. Livermore is nice but a little more expensive than Hayward but it is safer than Hayward. The commute from Livermore is 1 1/2 hours+ to San Jose during commute times less than an hour during non-commute times. Tracy is very affordable as prices haven't really started to recover there but the commute can be over 2 hours at the wrong time. I live in Livermore and we really like it here but we also work in the east bay so our commute is half an hour to 50 minutes depending on traffic.

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by MtnSurfer

Yes, I understand your points as well. However, I think it would be very hard to gather such a statistic as I described, natives leaving, then returning, or not. But it really doesn't matter when it comes down to it. Its completely dependent on the individual with so many variables and preferences involved. That is my point. I could care less whether more are coming or going, unless I simply like following others.

I don't think it's hard to get a general sense of what's been happening. Native born Americans have been leaving California for over 20 years now. Even a lot of immigrants are bypassing California in favor of other states with more reasonable living costs. California's population growth is now below the U.S. average. Now, you, and a lot of other Californians seem to like that idea..slow population growth to keep our state pristine, etc. Well, guess what? There's a cost for that, too...and we haven't even begun to pay the bill. Specifically, I'm talking about the pensions that have been promised to state workers. If that cost is spread over a larger population, it's much easier to absorb.

This recent piece (written by a Democrat) talks about how California is on its way to becoming a high revenue (aka "high tax"), low services state. Pensions and MediCal spending are going to soak up more and more of the tax revenue, while college tuition skyrockets, while K-12 education and even welfare spending are being reduced. A larger taxpaying population base would help with this:

California: A High-Revenue, Low-Services State - Bloomberg


And quite frankly, I'm getting a bit tired of this "I don't give a darn as long as it doesn't directly affect me" mentality. Stuff like population growth (or lack thereof) DOES have an effect on you, on the taxes you pay, the services you get (or don't get) etc. I think this is the problem we have in both California and America. We have this mentality of "As long as I have what I want, I don't really care what happens to anyone else". It's why our state and our country are in such a dangerous place, financially and otherwise.

One last thing I like to say...Californians and other folks out West have no clue about the downsides of zero or declining population growth. No. Clue. I wish I could send these idealistic folks to Detroit or any number of cities in the East or Midwest that have had population decline over the last 50 years. It's not a pretty picture.

[MtnSurfer]

Originally Posted by mysticaltyger

<Rant>
...One last thing I like to say...Californians and other folks out West have no clue about the downsides of zero or declining population growth. No. Clue. I wish I could send these idealistic folks to Detroit or any number of cities in the East or Midwest that have had population decline over the last 50 years. It's not a pretty picture.

One last thing I'd like to say. How about getting back the Original Question vs. one's misplaced personal pet peaves about what others say regarding population growth, etc..? This is completely irrelevant to the OP. The only reason I even mention it is that you seemed so fixated upon 'general' population trends rather than the situation described. But that's really for another discussion, isn't it? Instead start a new thread rehashing these same old rants if you want to (paranoia about pop. decline and CA becoming the next Detroit/dust bowl, etc...). But they add nothing to this thread. So let me help you to refocus by restating the original question: Best Way to Convince Wife to move out of Bay Area?

Derek

[tsx39]

Back to the original question - I would suggest as others have - look for jobs and a home in the Sacramento metro. Your dollar will go much further as far as rent or a home goes, and you're still close to the Bay Area for weekend visits on a regular basis.

[Goober13]

I was born and raised in Phoenix but moved to the Bay Area some years back. I lived there 15years. Now I am back in Phoenix taking care of my elderly mother after my dad died.

I liked the Bay Area and the only way to really get roots there is to live in the other East Bay or Solano County. I always lived in those areas and bought 2 homes while I lived there. One near Hilltop Mall and another in Antioch.

The Fairfield/Vacaville/Suisun City areas are workable and I lived in Suisun City for awhile. I also lived in Vallejo. Antioch, Brentwood and Oakley were workable.

I liked living in the Hilltop Mall and Pinole area a lot. It was close to Bart and easy to get to San Francisco from there.

Of course depending on where your jobs are is key considering the commute traffic.

I HATE the politics in Phoenix as it attracts so many rural conservatives from red Midwestern states, and in the Bay Area, people are more intellectual and progressive. More cosmopolitan atmosphere in the Bay. Housing is affordable, but you have so many different types of people that progressives never gain control.

[DealMasterMike]

TO OP: I came across your post as I find the situation you are in almost exactly the same as mine.

I don't need to convince my wife to move, the problem for us is the commute. We want the 4bdrm 2500+ sq ft house, but cannot afford it in the south bay. We have a 1bdrm condo now, but with a kid and perhaps another coming on the way, we need more room and a good school district for them to grow up in later.

My problem is the commute, wear and tear on the car, and not being able to see my kids. Our jobs are also in San Jose which makes it harder.

Looking at the Tracy area, I find the negatives to be the dusty weather, heat in summer, bugs bugs bugs...

I don't know what is going to happen but something has got to change...

[thechoson]

Thanks for all the helpful responses. Going to stay in the Bay Area for now. I was inspired by a blog post I read the other day where the author was discussing living in a high COL area, and he emphasized that people can make it work by trying to control the item that was making it a high COL, and using more of the items that make the area so desirable.

From that paradigm, it made a lot of sense to me. Housing is THE biggest component to the COL here, so my wife and I are going to see what we can do to control that aspect. Maybe rent 1 br apts for longer than we had though, as opposed to buying a larger place. We are also thinking of moving even closer to work so that while our rent may remain unchanged, we'd save money on commute and maybe even ditch one of the cars.

Meanwhile, I realized there are some money SAVING aspects of living here. Some are obvious, such as proximity to family (no need to pay for plane tickets to visit). Some of the stuff I hadn't really thought about that I had taken for granted was the temperate climate (not much need to run air OR heat), and the tons of attractions I can visit for free that are close-by that would be a costly vacation for most people.

So yea, changing my paradigm a bit really helped.

[MtnSurfer]

Originally Posted by thechoson

Thanks for all the helpful responses. Going to stay in the Bay Area for now. I was inspired by a blog post I read the other day where the author was discussing living in a high COL area, and he emphasized that people can make it work by trying to control the item that was making it a high COL, and using more of the items that make the area so desirable.

From that paradigm, it made a lot of sense to me. Housing is THE biggest component to the COL here, so my wife and I are going to see what we can do to control that aspect. Maybe rent 1 br apts for longer than we had though, as opposed to buying a larger place. We are also thinking of moving even closer to work so that while our rent may remain unchanged, we'd save money on commute and maybe even ditch one of the cars.

Meanwhile, I realized there are some money SAVING aspects of living here. Some are obvious, such as proximity to family (no need to pay for plane tickets to visit). Some of the stuff I hadn't really thought about that I had taken for granted was the temperate climate (not much need to run air OR heat), and the tons of attractions I can visit for free that are close-by that would be a costly vacation for most people.

So yea, changing my paradigm a bit really helped.

Glad to hear it. Enjoy being closer to family and all other things in and around the Bay area. We also had a really small place in an expensive area in SoCal (South Bay) when we were just starting our family. And we tried moving for the bigger place for a season. But in the end we enjoy living here so much more. Quality of life is something which cannot simply be measured by the size of one's home. Though I must admit to giving the PNW and the Big Island strong consideration.

Lastly, don't let the COL change you and your wife's dream of having children. A smaller place with a happy family is far superior to a larger one with disapointment.

Derek

[bigdumbgod]

Originally Posted by MtnSurfer

Quality of life is something which cannot simply be measured by the size of one's home...
A smaller place with a happy family is far superior to a larger one with disapointment.

Often wonder why this simple idea is so thoroughly lost on so many.

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by thechoson

Thanks for all the helpful responses. Going to stay in the Bay Area for now. I was inspired by a blog post I read the other day where the author was discussing living in a high COL area, and he emphasized that people can make it work by trying to control the item that was making it a high COL, and using more of the items that make the area so desirable.

From that paradigm, it made a lot of sense to me. Housing is THE biggest component to the COL here, so my wife and I are going to see what we can do to control that aspect. Maybe rent 1 br apts for longer than we had though, as opposed to buying a larger place. We are also thinking of moving even closer to work so that while our rent may remain unchanged, we'd save money on commute and maybe even ditch one of the cars.

Meanwhile, I realized there are some money SAVING aspects of living here. Some are obvious, such as proximity to family (no need to pay for plane tickets to visit). Some of the stuff I hadn't really thought about that I had taken for granted was the temperate climate (not much need to run air OR heat), and the tons of attractions I can visit for free that are close-by that would be a costly vacation for most people.

So yea, changing my paradigm a bit really helped.

It's true that changing your expectations regarding housing can help a lot. The problem is rents and home prices can spiral upward and outpace your income...and that is not in your control, so it can be frustrating. It's generally much more tolerable for those who don't have kids and don't need a lot of living space...but once the kids come, it really does affect quality of life negatively.